The Subtle Art of Letting Go (& Not Giving A Sh*t)

Amanda Paolicelli: 00:00:06

What's up, Radiant Icons, and welcome back to

2

: 00:00:08

Dare to Be Iconic, the podcast made

for icons daring to be themselves.

3

: 00:00:14

I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli

and if you haven't guessed it from

4

: 00:00:18

the title already, today's tea time

sesh is all about the subtle art of

5

: 00:00:22

letting go and not giving a shit.

6

: 00:00:25

Truly, one of the most freeing and

liberating experiences you can do for

7

: 00:00:30

yourself is letting go of the stuff that

no longer serves you and not giving a shit

8

: 00:00:35

about what anyone else thinks about it.

9

: 00:00:37

Okay?

10

: 00:00:38

So today, that is what we are

going to be spilling the tea

11

: 00:00:41

about in our Tea Time Sesh.

12

: 00:00:43

But before we get into

all that good stuff stuff.

13

: 00:00:45

I dare you to connect with me on

socials, on Instagram and TikTok.

14

: 00:00:49

It's @amandapaolicelli_

and @daretobeiconic_.

15

: 00:00:55

And if you're on LinkedIn, make

sure to connect with me there.

16

: 00:00:58

It's at Amanda Paolicelli

and all that information is

17

: 00:01:01

found in the show notes below.

18

: 00:01:03

And also one more thing before we get

into the piping hot tea, Radiant Icons,

19

: 00:01:10

you want to make sure to stay tuned

till the very end of this episode for

20

: 00:01:15

an exclusive, very special, Dare To Be

Iconic announcement that you'll basically

21

: 00:01:22

get a day earlier than everyone else.

22

: 00:01:25

Yeah, so if you're listening to

this on the day this drops, which

23

: 00:01:29

In this case, it's January 29th.

24

: 00:01:32

Then you're in luck.

25

: 00:01:33

You're getting a sneak peek

of what's to come for Dare to

26

: 00:01:35

Be Iconic before anyone else.

27

: 00:01:37

now, let's talk about letting go.

28

: 00:01:39

Letting go isn't just

about cutting ties, okay?

29

: 00:01:42

It's about creating space

for new opportunities.

30

: 00:01:46

It's about creating space for

clarity and for growth and for

31

: 00:01:49

things that will serve you.

32

: 00:01:51

Since we're in January, in the beginning

of the year, we're still setting the

33

: 00:01:55

foundation for our most iconic year yet

because remember: 2025

34

: 00:02:00

live our most iconic lives, radiant icons.

35

: 00:02:04

It will be our most iconic year in 2025.

36

: 00:02:07

So to set ourselves up for success.

37

: 00:02:10

Not only do we have to set intentions and

honor them, but we also have to let go

38

: 00:02:15

of the stuff that no longer serves us.

39

: 00:02:18

And we also have to let go of

the opinions from other people.

40

: 00:02:22

And we have to not give a shit about

what anyone else thinks about the life

41

: 00:02:26

that we are creating for ourselves.

42

: 00:02:27

It's time to set the foundation.

43

: 00:02:30

It's time to let go and not give a shit.

44

: 00:02:33

So are you ready, Radiant Icons?

45

: 00:02:36

Because your tea time

sesh is starting now.

46

: 00:02:38

I keep trying to get this tea time

sesh perfect for you guys, but

47

: 00:02:42

like, the reality is this process

of letting go is not perfect.

48

: 00:02:48

In fact, it's very messy.

49

: 00:02:49

It's imperfect.

50

: 00:02:50

It's heartbreaking, and it's

scary, and it's intimidating.

51

: 00:02:55

When it came to Season 2, my goal

was to have tough, honest, and real

52

: 00:03:00

conversations with you guys, and to

talk about the topics that I've been

53

: 00:03:03

shying away from because I'm scared

to get to the nitty gritty and to face

54

: 00:03:08

the things that I don't want to talk

about, but I know I need to, right?

55

: 00:03:13

And this topic right here, this, this

topic of letting go and not giving a

56

: 00:03:17

shit is a topic that, At first when I was

writing out the episode prep for it, I

57

: 00:03:23

was like, Oh, this is going to be so easy.

58

: 00:03:24

But when I came here to hit the

record button, it's definitely taken

59

: 00:03:28

me over the usual amount of time it

takes me to record an episode because

60

: 00:03:34

I'm just trying to get it perfect.

61

: 00:03:36

And the reality of the situation is this

process of realizing that something is

62

: 00:03:42

no longer serving you is not perfect.

63

: 00:03:46

You're not going to get it right.

64

: 00:03:48

In fact, the subtle art of letting go

is all about accepting imperfections.

65

: 00:03:53

It's about accepting that maybe this

one thing, or maybe these habits,

66

: 00:03:58

or these routines, or whatever it

is, right, that's no longer serving

67

: 00:04:02

us, that it's time to let go.

68

: 00:04:03

It's time to move on.

69

: 00:04:06

And frankly, when it comes to this

particular story that I'm going to share,

70

: 00:04:10

Or I don't even want to say it's a story.

71

: 00:04:12

It's a, it's a whole topic or area

of my life, it's very weird to think

72

: 00:04:16

of that I've never shared about this

before on here because it was such a

73

: 00:04:20

big part of my life, but it's scary

and intimidating to talk about because

74

: 00:04:24

I had to face a lot of hard truths to

get to the place that I am at today.

75

: 00:04:30

Because I had to come to a realization

that my first love in life,

76

: 00:04:34

acting, was no longer serving me.

77

: 00:04:38

And for a long time, I thought that

if I Let go of this, this dream

78

: 00:04:44

that I was chasing for so long.

79

: 00:04:47

It meant that I had failed and that I was

just giving up because I'm letting it go.

80

: 00:04:51

But in fact, letting it

go isn't about giving up.

81

: 00:04:55

It's about clearing space.

82

: 00:04:58

It's about making room for the

opportunities that align for you.

83

: 00:05:03

And my hard truth was realizing that it

was okay for me to give up this one dream

84

: 00:05:10

in order to pursue another, in order to

pursue another dream that was more right

85

: 00:05:14

for me, which was Dare To Be Iconic.

86

: 00:05:16

If I Still was acting and I was still

holding on to that dream that really was

87

: 00:05:22

not serving me in any way, shape, or form-

we would never have Dare To Be Iconic.

88

: 00:05:28

I would have never taken the chance

to go after this dream in my heart,

89

: 00:05:34

because Dare To Be Iconic was a

dream that I had when I was acting.

90

: 00:05:39

But I just, it was actually called

"Small Girl, Big Dreams", fun fact.

91

: 00:05:43

But this whole concept of everything

that you see now, you know, the seeds

92

: 00:05:48

were planting when I was acting.

93

: 00:05:50

But I didn't have the

courage to go after it.

94

: 00:05:53

Because I still was holding on to this

dream and still trying to make it work.

95

: 00:05:57

I was still chasing it.

96

: 00:05:59

It took the actor strike and me getting

laid off of my first big girl job

97

: 00:06:05

to go after that dream in my heart.

98

: 00:06:08

I didn't come to that realization

until they both left my

99

: 00:06:11

life, one after the other.

100

: 00:06:14

And maybe it wasn't any choice of my own

because, you know, that whole industry

101

: 00:06:18

that I had worked so hard for it, right?

102

: 00:06:21

That I have invested so much time and

emotion and effort into just stopped.

103

: 00:06:27

And then, you know, I got laid off and

it happens to the best of us and it's

104

: 00:06:32

not in our control, but damn July and

August back to back in: 2023

105

: 00:06:38

life changed and it was forced to change.

106

: 00:06:41

Sometimes I can't help, but think

like, damn, you could have left

107

: 00:06:45

sooner because you realized it

wasn't working for you anymore.

108

: 00:06:49

You had the realization that you wanted

to let it go, but you only kept it

109

: 00:06:53

because of fear, because you were scared.

110

: 00:06:56

You were scared of the possibility

of having to start over, of having to

111

: 00:07:02

write your story when you didn't even

know what it was going to look like.

112

: 00:07:05

But in fact, that was a blessing.

113

: 00:07:07

It was a blessing that I had to let it go.

114

: 00:07:10

Now let's get into that perception, right?

115

: 00:07:12

That perception of other people,

like how was me letting go of these

116

: 00:07:16

dreams going to be perceived by others

because remember little baby Amanda

117

: 00:07:21

ran off a delusion and manifestation.

118

: 00:07:23

She told everyone and anyone who would

listen that she was a star, that she

119

: 00:07:27

was going to build an empire, and

that she was going to win an Oscar.

120

: 00:07:30

And like, I love her for that.

121

: 00:07:32

But the reality of the situation is

when you are known for one thing for

122

: 00:07:36

so long, it's scary to pivot and try

something new because other people

123

: 00:07:42

will have things to say about it.

124

: 00:07:44

Like that's just the truth.

125

: 00:07:46

And for someone who struggled a lot with

my worth equaling external validation

126

: 00:07:52

from others, I was terrified about what

other people would say about me because

127

: 00:07:57

I no longer was doing the acting thing

because I thought that they thought of

128

: 00:08:01

me as failing, that they thought that I

just gave up because it wasn't working out

129

: 00:08:05

anymore, which was so far from the truth,

I was trying to enjoy acting for so long.

130

: 00:08:13

It was like trying to fit a puzzle piece

that definitely was like manufactured

131

: 00:08:18

wrong into this beautifully cut puzzle.

132

: 00:08:21

And it was during that time when

I perfected the subtle art of

133

: 00:08:24

letting go and not giving a shit.

134

: 00:08:27

So let's get into it, shall we?

135

: 00:08:30

The first thing you are going to do is

identify what's holding you back, okay?

136

: 00:08:34

You need to ask yourself what

in your life feels heavy?

137

: 00:08:37

What feels stagnant?

138

: 00:08:39

Or even out of alignment, okay?

139

: 00:08:41

It could be a belief, it could be a

habit, it could be a relationship, okay?

140

: 00:08:45

In my case, what was holding me back?

141

: 00:08:47

Acting.

142

: 00:08:47

It got very toxic.

143

: 00:08:49

It was like a very toxic,

unhealthy relationship.

144

: 00:08:51

I was trying to make it work,

and it was not serving me.

145

: 00:08:55

It was doing me, honestly, more

harm than good, I felt stagnant.

146

: 00:09:00

It was heavy.

147

: 00:09:00

It was out of alignment.

148

: 00:09:01

It was all three.

149

: 00:09:02

It doesn't have to be all three, but

identify what's holding you back.

150

: 00:09:06

After that, you need to

acknowledge your attachment.

151

: 00:09:09

You need to be honest with yourself.

152

: 00:09:11

You need to ask yourself if you are

holding on to this because of fear, of

153

: 00:09:15

comfort, or of a sense of obligation.

154

: 00:09:18

When it came to acting personally,

It was fear of failure.

155

: 00:09:23

It was the fear of perception, right?

156

: 00:09:26

It was also a comfort because I've been

chasing this dream for so long that

157

: 00:09:30

it was scary to think of something new

that I was going to go after and chase.

158

: 00:09:35

And when it comes to a sense of

obligation, I felt a sense of

159

: 00:09:38

obligation to little baby Amanda

who had all those dreams, right?

160

: 00:09:42

I felt a sense of obligation to

pursue this dream and try to make

161

: 00:09:47

it work because she dreamed so big

for it, like she wanted it so bad.

162

: 00:09:53

And the beauty of growth in this

particular situation is I realized

163

: 00:09:59

that little baby Amanda will be

proud of present Amanda and future

164

: 00:10:03

Amanda, no matter what, because

she's still daring to dream.

165

: 00:10:07

She's still following her heart.

166

: 00:10:09

She's still doing the things that she

loves, just in a different capacity.

167

: 00:10:14

She's still making her dreams come true.

168

: 00:10:16

And I needed to come to that

realization in order to truly let go.

169

: 00:10:21

So I had to acknowledge my

attachment to my acting dream.

170

: 00:10:25

And again, all three of those fit for me.

171

: 00:10:27

It doesn't have to be

all three of you guys.

172

: 00:10:30

But in my case, it just was.

173

: 00:10:32

Now the next thing you are going to

do is create a vision for the future.

174

: 00:10:36

You need to fall in love with that iconic

future that you are going to create.

175

: 00:10:41

So visualize the life that you want.

176

: 00:10:44

Lean into that manifestation, lean

into that delusion a little bit.

177

: 00:10:47

Think about what life could be

like without this weight, what

178

: 00:10:52

opportunities might open up for you?

179

: 00:10:55

Allow yourself to dream in and dream big.

180

: 00:10:58

After that you need to take

small intentional steps.

181

: 00:11:01

Small wins build momentum.

182

: 00:11:03

It is a marathon, not a sprint.

183

: 00:11:07

It is going to take time,

but it's going to be okay.

184

: 00:11:11

So after you've taken those small

intentional steps, You need to replace

185

: 00:11:15

the old with the new as you let go, right?

186

: 00:11:18

As you're in this process of letting go

of what no longer serves you need to fill

187

: 00:11:24

that space with something new, whether

that's new goals, habits, or people you

188

: 00:11:29

need to fill it, but you need to fill

it intentionally because again, iconic

189

: 00:11:33

lives are built on intentional actions

that is what we are doing in: 2025

190

: 00:11:40

So replace the old with the new,

but be intentional about it.

191

: 00:11:43

Now that you know my tips and tricks

to letting go and not giving a shit.

192

: 00:11:49

It's time to get to the

Dare To Be Iconic hotline.

193

: 00:11:52

Let's spill some tea, shall we?

194

: 00:11:54

Alright, first question.

195

: 00:11:56

I'm afraid to let go of habits

that feel comforting, even though

196

: 00:11:59

I know they're not good for me.

197

: 00:12:01

Any advice, Amanda, please?

198

: 00:12:04

So here's the thing with comfort zones.

199

: 00:12:05

Comfort zones are supposed to make us feel

safe, but they also make us feel stuck.

200

: 00:12:10

They make us feel stagnant because we

are not pushing ourselves to say goodbye

201

: 00:12:14

to that comfort zone and try something

new that we've been wanting to try.

202

: 00:12:18

So when it comes to, in this case, habits

that feel comforting I would choose one

203

: 00:12:23

habit that I want to let go of and replace

it with the new one that I want to try.

204

: 00:12:29

And I would just start

small and build my way up.

205

: 00:12:32

I would start with one, see how

it goes for a certain period of

206

: 00:12:36

time and then add another one

in, let go of one, add a new one.

207

: 00:12:40

Because, again, it's a

marathon, not a sprint.

208

: 00:12:42

Small wins build momentum.

209

: 00:12:45

Replace that old with the new and

take those small, intentional steps.

210

: 00:12:48

And you got this, Radiant Icon.

211

: 00:12:50

I believe in you.

212

: 00:12:51

Next question.

213

: 00:12:52

What if I let go of something

and regret it later?

214

: 00:12:54

How do I deal with that fear?

215

: 00:12:56

Well, I think this one comes down to

trusting yourself and trusting your gut.

216

: 00:13:01

And I know that's something that I

personally struggle with, but I think

217

: 00:13:04

you have to come to the realization

in this particular instance that

218

: 00:13:07

letting go doesn't mean losing, right?

219

: 00:13:09

It doesn't mean failure.

220

: 00:13:11

It doesn't mean giving up.

221

: 00:13:12

Letting go means you're

prioritizing your growth.

222

: 00:13:15

You're prioritizing clarity.

223

: 00:13:16

You're prioritizing making s

space for new opportunities.

224

: 00:13:20

If something truly is not meant to

be in your life, do not force it.

225

: 00:13:24

Do not try to make it work.

226

: 00:13:26

On the other hand, if something is

meant to be in your life, it will

227

: 00:13:30

always find its way back to you.

228

: 00:13:32

So trust yourself and trust your gut.

229

: 00:13:33

Alright, Radiant Icons, that is

your tea time sesh for today.

230

: 00:13:36

If you enjoyed today's episode, make

sure to subscribe, to leave a rating, a

231

: 00:13:40

review, to tell your friends about us,

to tell anyone and everyone about us,

232

: 00:13:43

because you know we love more Radiant

Icons in our iconic community of ours.

233

: 00:13:47

Let's get to that secret that I promised

to reveal at the end of today's episode.

234

: 00:13:53

Your wish is my command, Radiant Icons.

235

: 00:13:55

The time has finally come.

236

: 00:13:57

After months and months of wishing, Dare

To Be Iconic's first ever merch drop,

237

: 00:14:04

Radiant Love, the Iconic Collection,

will be dropping On February 13th.

238

: 00:14:10

So you can treat yourself with

something iconic this Galentine's day.

239

: 00:14:14

More information will be available

tomorrow on my social channels.

240

: 00:14:19

So make sure to connect with me on

Instagram, Tik TOK, and LinkedIn.

241

: 00:14:23

For Instagram and Tik TOK

it's at @amandapaolicelli_ and

242

: 00:14:27

@daretobeiconic_ and on LinkedIn.

243

: 00:14:30

It's at Amanda Paolicelli.

244

: 00:14:32

Again, those socials and

all that information will be

245

: 00:14:35

found in the show notes below.

246

: 00:14:36

But basically, you guys are the

first ones to know about the merch

247

: 00:14:40

drop that I have been working on for

months, and I am just so, so excited

248

: 00:14:45

to finally share it with you guys.

249

: 00:14:47

It's literally so cute.

250

: 00:14:48

If you haven't been watching the YouTube

version of the podcast, then you haven't

251

: 00:14:53

been able to see the little cute sneak

peeks of me wearing pieces of the merch.

252

: 00:14:58

They're literally so cute.

253

: 00:15:00

I'm obsessed.

254

: 00:15:00

Right now, I am wearing in my

Radiant Icon Era cropped hoodie.

255

: 00:15:06

I have the black one on right now,

but we also will be selling it in gray

256

: 00:15:10

and a lot of other amazing pieces in

this collection that I have poured

257

: 00:15:14

my blood, sweat and tears into, and

I just can't wait to see all of you

258

: 00:15:20

showing off your radiant icon pride.

259

: 00:15:23

Make sure to connect with me on socials

for more updates on the collection

260

: 00:15:27

and again it drops on February 13th on

Galentine's Day, so make sure to treat

261

: 00:15:33

yourself with something iconic because you

deserve it, Radiant Icons, you deserve it.

262

: 00:15:38

Anywho, I will chat

with you guys next week.

263

: 00:15:41

Remember, Radiant Icons,

dare to be iconic.

264

: 00:15:44

Bye!