The Secret to Living Your Most Iconic Life

Amanda Paolicelli: 00:00:01

What's up, radiant icons, and welcome back to

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Dare to be Iconic, the podcast made

for icons daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli.

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And before we get into our tea time

sesh today, because the tea is boiling.

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I dare you to go follow me on Instagram

and connect with me on LinkedIn.

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All that information will be

linked in the show notes below.

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So make sure to check it out.

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And if you're not already, subscribe

to the Dare to be Iconic YouTube

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channel so you can watch my lovely

face as we spill all the tea together.

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All right, radiant icons.

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So every week I promised to

deliver a piping hot tea time sesh.

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And this week is no exception.

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So today we are going to be spilling

the tea about the dare to be

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iconic mindset, so you can start

living your most iconic life yet.

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So, what the heck is the

Dare to Be Iconic mindset?

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How do you get there so you can start

living your most iconic life yet?

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Your tea time sesh is starting now.

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Let's start with what the heck

is the Dare to be Iconic mindset.

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So the Dare to be Iconic mindset

is based off of four pillars.

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So we have trust, confidence,

determination, and authenticity.

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Now, the dare to be iconic mindset

is not a one and done type deal.

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It is a continuous process that you

have to work on myself included.

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I am not perfect by any means, and I am

still actively working on this as well.

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As many of you know, if you are

following the Dare to be Iconic

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blog, my word for 2024 is trust.

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And oh my god, the journey of trust

has been, has been an interesting one.

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Everything I have done this year relates

back to trust in one way or another,

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and I didn't realize how prevalent

this theme of trust would really be in

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my life, but oh my god, it's insane.

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So let's start with trust.

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I think it is this wild concept that we

can so easily trust others, but then not

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give ourselves that same trust in return.

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And if you're new here, I

definitely have trust issues.

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I am the first person to admit

that I have trust issues.

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I definitely do, which is why I wanted

trust to be my word for this year.

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Because it's so prevalent

to everything in my life.

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And I believe in order to keep

going on this dare to be iconic

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journey with you guys, I need to

start trusting myself more, right?

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It's to honor that commitment of

choosing myself that I had last year.

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Last year was 2023.

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It was that year of me.

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I did everything for myself.

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I chose myself first.

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So in order to continue

honoring that commitment.

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I have to start trusting myself and man,

is that a lot harder than I expected.

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I did not expect it to be this

hard, but this is what I've

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learned so far about trust.

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I somehow can't trust myself fully still.

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No matter how much I prove to myself

that I am fully capable of doing it.

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everything I've set my mind to,

I still am missing this part

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of fully trusting myself 100%.

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And maybe I won't ever get there, right?

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To that 100 percent completion.

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And maybe that's okay.

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Maybe I'm not supposed to trust

myself 1, 000%, or even 100%,

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let me not get crazy here.

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But maybe I'm not supposed to have it

100 percent figured out with trust.

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Maybe trust is supposed to always be

this like continuous journey for me.

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Like maybe that's the whole

point of trust, right?

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That it's ever evolving and that

you're not always going to have it a

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thousand percent figured out all the

time because it's like, you can't.

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People will break your trust and you

will break your trust within yourself.

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And sometimes you have to break

yourself down to bring yourself back up.

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And maybe that's the

same concept with trust.

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So how the heck do I

start trusting myself?

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I think it's by continuing to take that

risk on myself and taking that leap

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of faith and trusting that everything

will be okay, which in turn relates to

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determination, which is one of the other

pillars in the Dare to be Iconic mindset.

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Now determination, I have down pat.

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If there is one thing about me, is

if I say I'm gonna do something, I'm

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gonna find a way to make it happen.

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Point blank and period.

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It's either I'm going to find the

action steps to make it happen.

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I'm going to find the people that

I need to connect with to make

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it happen, or it's going to be a

beautiful combination of the two.

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But either way, I have

always been determined and

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maybe that leans into trust.

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Maybe those two go hand in hand.

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I mean, honestly, when I was coming

up with the Dare to be Iconic mindset,

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because I think these four pillars:

trust, authenticity, determination,

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and confidence all go together so

well, but maybe determination and trust

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really do go hand in hand together.

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Because in order to take that risk on

yourself and take that leap of faith, you

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have to be determined to reach your goals.

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You have to be determined to not

care what other people say about you.

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Which, in turn, also

connects to authenticity.

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My next point.

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You have to embrace who you are a

thousand percent and keep being authentic

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to you and to whatever room you step

into, which then goes into confidence.

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We have to be comfortable and

confident in our authentic, or

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as I like to say, iconic selves.

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When we present ourselves to the

world, when we take that leap of

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faith and that risk on ourselves, that

it's all going to work out because.

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In turn, deep down, we trust ourselves.

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Man, maybe I figured out

the recipe right here.

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Maybe it just took me talking

to you guys to figure it out.

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It's probably that, to be honest with you.

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But my whole entire point with

the Dare to Be Iconic mindset

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is that it's ever evolving.

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That we are continuously working on

it because you can't be a hundred and

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thousand percent done and finished

like that's not that's not true It's

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just like healing right healing is

this continuous roller coaster journey.

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There's ups, downs, twists, and turns

but you know We got to stay on that path

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of the roller coaster because that's

just how healing is and that's the same

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thing with the Dare to be Iconic mindset.

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We have to keep working towards these

four pillars have to keep going into

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this ever evolving process because

we, as humans, as individuals,

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are ever evolving and changing.

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We're not just one thing.

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We are multi faceted, multi

dimensional beings on this earth.

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I think we have to accept that we're

not always going to be perfect in it.

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The journey is not always

going to be smooth sailing.

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It's not.

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Trust me.

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Let me give you guys an example of

the Dare to be Iconic mindset in

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my life and how it's ever evolving.

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Determination has always been

something that I've had since

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I was little baby Amanda.

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As I said beforehand, Once I set my

eyes on something, I'm going for it.

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Like, there is nothing holding me back.

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If I say, I'm gonna meet X, Y, and Z,

you best believe it's gonna happen.

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So, you either get on the train

with me, Or you get off, because

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I'm not letting anyone slow me down.

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I have so many dreams within that

dare to be iconic umbrella that I

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can not reveal yet, but they are

coming true and it's so exciting.

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But none of that would happen if I

wasn't determined to make it work.

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If I wasn't daring to make my

dreams a reality and create that

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own magic for myself in my life.

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So, determination, that's an easy

one for me to explain, but let's,

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let's get into confidence, shall we?

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I was just on a FaceTime call with

my lovely friend Dani, which you

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will hear me reference a lot and

we were talking about confidence.

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Now I'm just gonna warn you guys.

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When you turn 25, no one warns

you that your body will change.

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You think you know everything

about your body at 24?

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Oh my god!

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Joke's on you.

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Joke is on you.

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I've never been on more of a

rollercoaster with my body since

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I was like in middle school.

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When I turned 25, my eczema that

was dormant for like 7 8 years?

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decided to flare up.

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And not just like a little baby flare up.

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No, no.

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It decided to be like the worst

flare up I've ever experienced.

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And I think what I forgot about eczema

is how detrimental it can be to your

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mental health and it wrecked me.

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That's why I started the daring

to be confident challenge.

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I started that challenge because

of how low my self concept was.

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Because of how I saw myself

in the mirror with my eczema.

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It is so hard to see your body

change overnight from something

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that you're not used to.

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It messed with my self confidence and

I just felt so ugly in my skin and I

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felt like I didn't belong because I

I wasn't used to the body that I was

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seeing myself in- like, I, I wasn't

used to seeing my skin as something

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that I haven't seen for 7 8 years.

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And I didn't know how to deal with it.

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I didn't know how to process it mentally.

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And I think that's what people forget

when your body changes all of a sudden.

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It messes with your mind.

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It messes with how you see yourself.

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The more I was opening up to my friends

about how low my self concept was and how

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low mental state was because I couldn't

recognize who I was in the mirror.

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I realized I wasn't alone in that feeling.

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I realized that we were all

kind of going through it, but

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in our own unique way, right?

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We all were feeling self conscious

about some part of our body.

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So I was like, how can we change that?

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How can we collectively go on this

journey together to not only becoming

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our most iconic selves, but to become

more confident because that is such a key

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pillar to the Dare to be Iconic mindset.

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I think confidence not only stems

within ourselves on learning how to

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love ourselves, and that includes all

facets of it- loving our personality,

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loving our flaws, loving our

insecurities, and loving our bodies.

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And I know that's hard as young

women, and also men out there, to

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love who we are inside and out.

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And yes, it is an individual

journey, but it's also just

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as much a collective journey.

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Because, while we're working on

ourselves, why not bring our friends

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along for the ride so that we all

can succeed and be our iconic selves.

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So that's what I'm dealing with

in the confidence aspect of

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this Dare to be Iconic mindset.

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Alright, now let's talk

about this last one.

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I have gone on a very long

journey with authenticity, right?

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Loving exactly who I am a

thousand percent, not looking

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for validation in anyone else,

because I truly love who I am.

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But I would be lying to you if I

didn't say sometimes I do struggle

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with authenticity, but it may

not be in the way you think.

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So, if you don't follow me on Instagram,

I do this series called Tea Time with

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Amanda, which, fun fact, inspired this

whole Tea Time session on my podcast.

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And one of my Tea Times is about

how I got laid off in August

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of 2023 from my dream job.

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I was unemployed for about six

months until I secured work at a

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new job that I'm super happy in.

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I really do love it.

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And shout out to my boss.

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She's listening to this right now.

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You're an icon.

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But I secured my first big

girl, full time, like, job.

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Like, I get, like, like,

benefits and stuff.

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that's so cool.

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Like, what?

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Like, I'm an adult now.

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Like, that's so crazy.

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But anyway, I work very closely with

my boss, and the amount of times I

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have embarrassed myself is astounding.

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I genuinely don't know how

I keep doing this to myself.

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Now, I do pride myself in always

being authentic to who I am.

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I bring my iconic self everywhere I go

from that interview all the way till I

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was hired to now working in the company.

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That's great.

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I love that for me and I'm sure

everyone else loves it too.

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Cause they probably get a laugh.

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However, at this point, I really

think I may be a personality hire

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because I have a certain goal.

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I'm not going to reveal it on this podcast

because it's a little embarrassing, but

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I have a certain goal that is fueled by

delusion and confidence that honestly

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should be studied because this delusion

I have and the confidence I have with it

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that's, that is something right there.

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Like they, they need scientists

to study that, but it is so second

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nature for me to say this delusion.

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So it just like came out of my

mouth during one of our one on

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one meetings, and she laughed.

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And she was like, oh, you're manifesting.

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I was like, thanks boss and then

I like wanted to like crawl in a

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hole and never show my face again.

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I definitely sent a Snapchat to

all my girlfriends saying, you won't

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believe how I embarrassed myself and

we're only in, like, four weeks in.

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Then we get to my second

all staff meeting.

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And I'm literally like, okay, Amanda,

filter, like, don't say anything.

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And that morning, okay, like

just before, That staff meeting.

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I had gotten a very lovely Instagram

notification That goes hand in

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hand with the delusion that I

have and I was on cloud nine.

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I was honestly Still daydreaming

about my entire life and picturing

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it because that delusion was in my

head Low key coming true because

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something happened on Instagram.

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So I'm like, oh, like, maybe I won't

say anything in this meeting, like,

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it's okay, like, I don't need to say

anything in the icebreaker, la la la.

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Of course, I don't know why I said

that to myself, I love to talk.

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I can talk to a wall.

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So I decided to unmute myself.

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I should've just kept the mute button,

because my boss was about to talk, and

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I was like, oh, I don't have to go,

and she was like, oh, no, no, no, go.

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I should have just muted myself.

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I should have just muted myself because

you know what I did embarrass myself.

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That is absolutely correct.

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Everyone.

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I not only embarrassed myself in front

of my boss again, but to the entire team

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by stating my delusion full right out.

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Yup.

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It was bad.

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Because again, I don't have a

filter when it comes to my delusions

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because it's such second nature.

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So my whole point with that story

of embarrassment is like, yes,

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I am embracing my iconic self.

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Yes.

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Do I bring a little pizzazz

anywhere I go ? Absolutely.

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Do I probably bring the laughter?

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Oh, yeah.

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No, they're definitely laughing at me

But or maybe with me, I don't know.

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It's probably at me.

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But anyway I think maybe

we learn levels of it.

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I really don't know, I'm

still exploring that one.

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Because I'm definitely being myself.

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But maybe, I don't always have to

say every delusion that comes to mind.

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So to sum it up, I'm actively

going on this journey with you.

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I don't have it 100 percent figured out.

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The Dare to Be Iconic mindset will

always be a work in progress, but it's

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about how you move forward in this

collective and individual journey.

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These four pillars of trust, confidence,

determination, and authenticity really

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are the foundation of what makes Dare

to Be Iconic so, dare I say, iconic.

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Iconic.

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If you aren't constantly working on

these four pillars that I think are

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such constant and prevalent themes

in life, then how can you start

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embracing your iconic self if you

don't get down to the root of it?

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If you don't get down to the

root of trust, of confidence, of

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authenticity, and determination?

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So, how can you work towards embracing

this Dare to Be Iconic mindset on

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the daily so that you can start

living your most iconic life yet?

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Here are my two takeaways.

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One, your tribe, your tribe, your

tribe is the most important thing

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when you're going on this Dare to Be

Iconic journey to embrace that Dare

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to Be Iconic mindset so that you can

start living your most iconic life yet.

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It is so much about this collective

journey, you guys and I will emphasize

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this until I'm blue in the face,

but find your accountability buddy

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and go on this journey with them.

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A great example to start would be go

to my show notes below, follow me on

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Instagram and on my Instagram, there

is a pinned post for the daring to be

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confident challenge, where I dare you to

go on this 30 day challenge of building

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up your confidence with your besties.

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That's the trick there, because

we all are going to embrace

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our iconic selves together.

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Because again, the Dare to Be

Iconic journey is not only about

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the individual journey, but

about that collective journey.

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So let your friends be there to

support and uplift you when you

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need them, for them to be that hype

person, for them to be that mirror

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when you need it, and vice versa.

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And my second action step for you guys

would be to check out my journal that

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is linked in the show notes below.

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Break up with the past, fall in love

with the future, your five step guide

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to turning your pain into power.

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So this journal is basically a love

letter to your future self on starting

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that healing process, so you can start

embracing that dare to be iconic mindset.

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All right, Radiant Icons, that is

our tea time session for today.

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I hope you enjoyed today's episode.

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Now on Dare to be Iconic, we will

be bringing on everyday icons

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: 00:17:23

and iconic thought leaders who

are daring to be themselves.

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: 00:17:27

Next week, we will be spilling the tea

with my bestest friend in the entire world

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and our first everyday icon, Meleena.

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: 00:17:35

She is the creative eye behind every

picture you see on the Dare to be

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: 00:17:39

Iconic website, the podcast cover, and

probably half the photos on my Instagram.

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: 00:17:45

I trust her with my entire

life and I love her so much.

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: 00:17:48

And I can't wait to spill the tea

with her next week about all things,

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: 00:17:51

girlhood, female friendships, navigating

your twenties, all that good stuff.

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: 00:17:56

If you like today's episode, make

sure to leave a review, share it with

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: 00:18:00

your friends, and connect with me on

socials Instagram and LinkedIn, which

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: 00:18:04

are linked in the show notes below.

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: 00:18:06

And remember, radiant

icons dare to be iconic.

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: 00:18:10

I'll see you guys next time.

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: 00:18:11

Bye.