Navigating Anxiety, Panic Attacks & Stress

Amanda Paolicelli: 00:00:00

What's up radiant icons and welcome back to Dare To

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Be Iconic, the podcast made for

icons daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host Amanda Paolicelli and

oh my god you guys When I planned

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out my podcasting schedule all

the way in January, who would have

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thought I predicted the future.

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I mean, my friends say

I predict the future.

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Like I just say things and they come

true, which is low key a credit to

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my manifestation techniques, which

we will talk about a little bit

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later on, like in the beginning

of June, but let's get back to it.

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This week's Tea Time Sesh is

all about anxiety and stress.

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And I have had this planned out for

about, as I mentioned, since January.

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But who would have thought the

timing would be so fitting?

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Because this week, in particular, has

been one of the most anxiety inducing

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and stressful weeks of my life.

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So, we're gonna talk about all of

that in today's Tea Time Sesh, but

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before we get into that, I dare you

guys to follow me on social media.

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All my information is found in the show

notes below, and don't forget to grab

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your copy of "Break Up With The Past,

Fall In Love With The Future", your

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journal to turn your pain into power.

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One thing I do want to bring up is that

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

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and my entire dare to be iconic journey

truly started with me taking care of

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my mental health, first and foremost,

because I knew I wanted to be a better

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me and I knew I wanted to change my life.

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And for me, the first step was taking care

of my mental health and full disclosure,

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when I first started last year, the first

thing I did was talk to a therapist.

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I know therapy is a privilege.

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Not everyone has the opportunity to speak

to a therapist, but if you can and you

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are able to, I highly, highly recommend.

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Therapy is one of the best

things I've ever done for myself.

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It's allowed me to learn more

about who I am and really grow

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into the icon that I am today.

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And I truly think if I didn't take

that first step to talk to someone

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and sort through my thoughts and work

on myself, I wouldn't be here today.

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I will link some resources down below in

the show notes . So let's get into it.

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Are you ready for your tea

time sesh Radiant icons?

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Because your tea time

sesh is starting now.

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When I tell you guys it has been the

most stressful week of my life because

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I feel like I've been in a constant

panic attack since the moment I've

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woken up to the moment I hit the pillow.

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I described it to my sister as

like this fight or flight response.

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I just felt like I was like in

a constant state of panic with

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this underlining feeling of

anxiety coursing through my bones.

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And people who don't experience anxiety

and stress the same way as people

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who deal with mental health struggles

is that they don't clearly or fully

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understand how isolating but also

draining all this is on your body when

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you can't physically control it at times.

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Because sometimes you can't, and

you're not alone in that, because

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this week, I haven't been able

to take charge of my emotions.

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And sometimes I'm able to, right?

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Like, I have my anxiety techniques,

I have my stress techniques, but it's

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been a while since I've experienced this

constant state of, of panic and stress.

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It just brings me back to making

anxiety and stress and mental health

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normalized in conversations that

people who don't deal with this on

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the daily can understand the feeling.

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Because when I was going through the

situation I was going through this week,

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and I won't go in depth about it, but

it was very stressful and it felt so

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isolating, and it brought me back to the

feeling of when I got broken up with.

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And I was explaining this to

my dad earlier, and I think he

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kinda got what I was saying, but

let's dissect it here, shall we?

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When I was broken up with, we all

know it was a letter and a box.

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It was the first thing that happened to

th,: 2022

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I woke up, I thought it was a normal

day and I went straight to the front

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door to open the box and the letter.

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And then I got broken up with, and

my heart shattered to the floor and

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I didn't know how to deal with it.

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I was in a constant state of feeling

like I was going to puke, and that

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I was stressed, and anxiety, and

shaking, and all the feelings.

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I was definitely having a panic attack.

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Like, looking back at it now, I was

experiencing a panic attack, but I

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didn't have the proper terminology

to label it because mental health

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isn't something that's really

discussed in Hispanic culture.

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Like, the, the first thing that people

think is like, oh, you're crazy.

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That's not true.

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Like, that's absolutely not true.

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That's the farthest thing from the truth.

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You're not crazy.

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If you deal with panic attacks or

anxiety or stress or PTSD or any

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other mental health struggles, you

are not crazy, and I think that's

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a stigma that we need to break.

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Anyway, the terminology that I didn't

have to label the feeling that I was

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experiencing that whole day because my

body went into a sudden state of shock.

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That's how I woke up that morning was in

shock And I had this constant panic attack

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of not feeling like I could breathe.

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I was shaking.

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I truly felt like I was

having a heart attack.

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And it kind of goes back to

what I was discussing with

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Alison in last week's episode.

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When you are struggling with mental

health, it can feel isolating

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because you're the only person

that you think is experiencing

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this feeling and feeling this way.

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But that's not true, you aren't

alone in it, but it takes a lot

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of courage to say what you are

struggling with because no one wants

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to talk about the shit that's hard.

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I think anxiety and stress in particular

because it's been a constant in my life

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ever since I was a little girl and I, I

do think it goes back to my perfectionist

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background and being a people pleaser,

you know, but it's this ever evolving

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journey and it's going to be something

that I will always deal with in my life,

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no matter how much I think I have it under

control in quotation marks, because you,

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you don't, Truly have it under control.

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We can't control every aspect of our life.

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We can't control all the emotions

we're going to experience

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or come to the surface.

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We can't control them.

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We can't control what

is going to trigger us.

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And I just think that anxiety and

stress are such a tricky thing because

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you think you have it under control.

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And then one little trigger can

flare up and you have to go back to,

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"Okay, how can I work through this?"

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" How can we combat it?"

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And one example I want to bring up that

I haven't ever spoken about publicly is

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one of my most memorable panic attacks.

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And the thought process and shame

that I had after it and during it.

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One thing for me that I was very fortunate

during this whole experience was to

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have one of my really good friends

with me when I was going through it.

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It didn't take away the embarrassment that

I felt around it, and I know I shouldn't

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have felt embarrassed, but I did.

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I, I felt embarrassed while I was going

through it, and I felt embarrassed

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afterwards when I mentioned it to

my dad because I didn't know how

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to go through my feelings about it.

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Anyway, I knew when I accepted the

invite for the baby shower that my

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friend Melissa lived in the same

general area of my ex boyfriend.

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We were getting ready to go

into a baby shower hungover.

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I had looked out the window and I saw the

Publix that my ex and I used to go to when

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I was on his side of town and that Publix

sent a shot of panic through my body.

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It was as soon as I saw that, every

little fear and thought around the

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situation and around my breakup and

seeing him again invaded my mind.

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I felt like I couldn't breathe.

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I had this dress that had like

a little choker attached to it.

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I like kept tugging on it because

I felt like it was choking me.

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Like I, I truly felt like I

was suffocating and tears just

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started flowing down my face.

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And I

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remember Becs looking at

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Amanda Paolicelli: me because she

could see my hand started to shake.

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And she was like, Hey, it's okay.

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Like it's going to be okay.

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And she's driving right.

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And I'm in the passenger seat,

having a full blown panic attack.

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The worst panic attacks

I've ever had in my life.

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Like truly I've never in my life

experienced a panic attack as

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the one I did that day going

to Melissa's baby shower.

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And I thought, I truly thought I had

prepped myself enough to be like,

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you're going to be okay, this and that.

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But it shows you that one little trigger,

a Publix that I didn't even prep my mind

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for, it wasn't even a thought in my brain.

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I was between feeling like I was

dying because I couldn't breathe

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and having a heart attack, To

feeling so ashamed and embarrassed.

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It's different when you have

a panic attack by yourself.

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I think honestly in general panic

attacks are a very isolating experience

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and when you're Experiencing a panic

attack to that degree around someone

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like I knew Becs wasn't gonna judge

me But it didn't stop the thoughts

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that I had of like, oh my god.

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I'm so embarrassed.

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Oh my god.

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I'm so stupid Oh my god, like

this is so Embarrassing like why?

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Am I experiencing this like

why is this happening now?

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Like i'm supposed to be going to a baby

shower I'm, not I wasn't hungover anymore.

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That's for sure because my body was

going through absolute panic But, but,

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getting back to my point is I didn't

know that looking at a Publix I used

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to go to with my ex would trigger my

body into a state of panic and anxiety.

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I just remember feeling really

embarrassed afterwards and telling her,

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like, Thank you, like, I'm so sorry.

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She was like, Amanda, you don't

have to apologize for this.

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But, like, I felt like I had to.

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And I think it's because of that stigma

of feeling like I was low key crazy

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and there was also a big part of me

that was embarrassed because I knew

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it stemmed from that fear of running

into my ex, and I was like, oh my

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god, does this mean I'm not over him?

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Spoiler alert, when I spoke

to my therapist about it, she

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was like, no Amanda, stop.

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You are definitely over him.

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It doesn't take away that core

fear of running into him, and

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that's okay that you experience it.

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It doesn't mean you're not over it.

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I had so much shame and embarrassment

surrounding it, and I felt so alone

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even though I was with someone.

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It took everything, in me to be like,

I need to talk to someone in my family.

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I need to be open and honest, and I

made a commitment to myself to not only

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choose myself, but to be honest with

myself and to be honest with my family.

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It took everything in me to muster up

the courage to talk to my dad about it.

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. It was very awkward.

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And my dad, we, we love Vinny.

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Like Vinny is great.

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And he was great about it.

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But I still was embarrassed, and I still

was ashamed, and I had to film a self

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tape later that night with him, and I

was just easily, like, ticked off and

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triggered about things not going perfect.

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Again, goes back to my perfectionist

tendencies, but I knew why I was

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getting so frustrated, and it

wasn't because of the audition.

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It was Because I hadn't properly

let my body cool down and deal with

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what was going on earlier that day.

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I didn't deal with it.

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Even though I thought I, like, dealt

with it by mustering up the courage

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to talk to my dad and this and that,

like, me, myself, as Amanda, didn't

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take the time to let my body calm

down, cool down, and collect my

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thoughts and write everything out.

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I just went straight into,

like, Okay, we're done.

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I told my dad.

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Okay, great.

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Bye.

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Like, let's go.

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No, like you can't do that when

you experience something like that.

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And so it takes me to my

action steps for you guys.

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When you are dealing with anxiety, stress,

a panic attack, anything of that nature.

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The first thing I'm going to suggest.

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It's take the time for yourself to collect

your thoughts and truly feel all your

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feelings when you're coming out of it.

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That is the first thing you need

to do is have self reflection.

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And I think I've learned that a

lot, especially through this week.

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I keep being reminded that, Amanda, you

need to take time for yourself right

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now to collect how you're feeling.

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Taking that time for self reflection

and truly understanding your thoughts

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and emotions and getting down to

what is the root of a panic attack?

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What is that root of anxiety for you?

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What is that, that root of

stress in your life right now?

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Why are you feeling this way

and how you can work about it?

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Another one is expressing

gratitude and being mindful.

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And this was a technique that

was actually mentioned in my

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first therapy session ever.

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And I have the notes right in front

of me and it's to be more mindful and

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taking in the moments of gratitude.

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So you can build awareness

and wash away negativity.

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So for me, I love a good hot girl walk.

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Like I I love a good walk.

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I will take two hours to go on a walk.

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I know you guys are

probably like, Amanda, what?

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But yeah, I do it.

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It's a great thing for me to de

stress and to really get in tune

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with my body and my emotions.

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And my therapist had mentioned to me that

you need to take moments in your day to

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express gratitude and to be more mindful.

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And even if it's like, Oh my God, the

sky is blue and I'm so happy for it.

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You need to reframe your thoughts

and rewire your brain to start

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looking in the positives.

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So when you're experiencing anxiety

and stress and panic, you know

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It's hard for us to to think of the

positives in that situation, right?

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Because we're all consumed with

these, you know Dark emotions

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and thoughts and feelings so it's

going to be hard to see the light.

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But you need to try to take time to just

say three things that you're grateful

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for and see that negativity or those

dark emotions wash away from your body.

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So you can take in that brightness

and that calmness and that piece of

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light when you're going through it

and it can be the littlest thing.

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So I would go on a walk.

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And when I first started, I would

be like, okay, it doesn't have to

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be anything big or philosophical.

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It just needs to be small.

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And then we can build our way up.

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And so I'd be like, okay, I'm

grateful that I'm getting to

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go outside and move my body.

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I'm grateful that this beautiful

orange butterfly just flew right by me.

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I'm grateful that the sun is

shining and the sky is blue.

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So, like, little things like that

is going to allow you to rewire

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your brain and reframe your thoughts

so that you can start having those

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little pockets of positivity.

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And then my last one is

breathing, a breathing technique.

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And when I tell you guys that I am

not a meditation girl, like that.

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It can never be me.

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I've tried yoga.

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I can't do yoga.

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You know, the only yoga I was ever able

to do was when Lando Norris for the Miami

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Grand Prix, which he won by the way,

like point blank and period like that.

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So excited.

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Okay.

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Anyway, sorry, back, back to our

point here, but like the only yoga

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I've ever done and truly ever enjoyed

was when Lando Norris did his race

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ready yoga for the Miami Grand

Prix in partnership with Hilton.

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Like that is the only time I've

ever actually enjoyed doing yoga.

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Like in my lifetime, I try

yoga so many times and it's

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just, I'm not the girl for it.

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I'm more of a Pilates and barre girl.

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Like, let's be so for real right now,

but breathing techniques, because

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I forget to breathe and coming from

an acting background, a performer

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background, I should know how to breathe.

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I should have good breath control, but

oh my gosh, when I tell you guys, when

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I am experiencing panic or anxiety

or stress, I forget how to breathe.

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I really do.

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So I have to take the time

to do my breathing exercises.

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I need to pause and slowly let

out a breath and think of it

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as I'm washing away negativity

because I'm a big visual person.

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So I need to pause.

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Breathe in all the good vibes, breathe

in all the luck, all the positivity,

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and then I need to see it in my brain

that I am, when I breathe out, that

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I'm breathing out all the negativity,

all the doubt, every negative,

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dark emotion, I'm breathing it out.

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And I just do that a couple of times.

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And sometimes it works.

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Sometimes it doesn't because again, not

all of these are foolproof, you know, like

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not all of them are going to always work

when you're experiencing these symptoms.

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So another one for me is

talking to my friends.

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I have to muster up the courage and

not feel ashamed over these struggles.

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Anxiety, stress, and panic are

struggles that maybe not everyone

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deals with, but people are aware of it.

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And being someone who openly struggles

with anxiety and stress and panic

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attacks, the best thing I can do to help

myself out is to learn how to articulate

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when I'm feeling these feelings or

when I'm going through these emotions.

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And one thing I noticed through this

week when I was going through this whole

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scenario is I wasn't talking to anyone

about it, which made it 10 times worse

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because I felt so isolated and these

feelings are already isolating enough.

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So not talking to anyone, not

articulating how I'm feeling

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was so catastrophic for me.

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: 00:17:28

And once I started opening up like

little and little to like selective

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friends I was able to feel less stress.

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: 00:17:36

It was truly like a weight had been lifted

off like I'm not going through it alone.

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: 00:17:40

Like even though these feelings

are my own Being able to have my

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: 00:17:44

friends to lean on in those moments

and to hear me out and to Help me

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: 00:17:50

go through it truly means everything

and it makes you feel less alone when

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: 00:17:55

it's already an isolating feeling.

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: 00:17:57

So those are my action steps for you

guys when you are dealing with Anxiety or

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: 00:18:01

stress and panic and I know this episode

was a little bit all over the place But

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: 00:18:07

you know what i'm imperfectly iconic

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: 00:18:10

all right, Radiant Icons, that

is your tea time sesh for today.

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: 00:18:14

I know it was a little bit different than

what we usually, like, talk about on here.

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: 00:18:19

I know we talk about challenging stuff.

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: 00:18:21

I know we challenge stereotypes and we

break barriers and unleash our potential.

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: 00:18:24

Like, all that good stuff that

we do here at Dare to be Iconic.

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: 00:18:26

But, I know, personally, I haven't spoken

out about my mental health struggles.

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: 00:18:32

And this is probably the first

time I've spoken about it so

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: 00:18:35

publicly and actually labeled.

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: 00:18:36

So, Majority of them.

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: 00:18:37

Um, and that's really scary for me,

but I wanted to show you guys that I am

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: 00:18:42

stepping out of my comfort zone Which

we talked about two episodes ago And

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: 00:18:46

for me a big thing that I took from

that episode is I need to continue

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: 00:18:50

doing things that scare me and for me

Talking about something so personal to

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: 00:18:55

me when it comes to like my mental health

Is stepping outside my comfort zone.

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: 00:18:58

Like I'm literally shaking right

now holding this mic because I'm

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: 00:19:01

so scared and I'm so nervous.

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: 00:19:03

But you know what?

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: 00:19:04

That's what Dare to be

Iconic is all about.

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: 00:19:07

I'm daring to be myself.

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: 00:19:08

And I hope by talking about

something that is very challenging

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: 00:19:12

to talk about at times that

encourages you to talk to someone.

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: 00:19:17

Whether it's a mental health professional,

whether it's your parents, your family,

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: 00:19:21

your guardian, your friends, your boss,

like literally anyone with something

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: 00:19:27

that you are struggling with that

you don't usually talk about and that

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: 00:19:29

you need help, that you can do it.

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: 00:19:32

I just want to say that you aren't alone.

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: 00:19:35

Everyone is here to help

and you can get through it.

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: 00:19:39

We're in this together and we're

all imperfectly iconic and just keep

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: 00:19:44

being you because the world needs you.

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: 00:19:47

I will link mental health

resources in my show notes.

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: 00:19:51

And again, remember, Radiant

Icons, dare to be iconic.

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: 00:19:55

I love you guys so much.

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: 00:19:56

I'll see you guys next week.

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: 00:19:58

Bye!