Daring To Be Confident
It's all about confidence, radiant icons!
In this episode of 'Dare to Be Iconic', Amanda spills the tea on confidence, sharing her experiences from a 30-day confidence challenge. Amanda discusses the importance of self-reflection, loving imperfections, and the power of vulnerability. She recaps her journey, the lessons learned, and provides insights on how to confidently embrace every part of yourself. Tune in to learn how to boost your self-esteem and connect with your inner strength.
Grab your copy of "Break Up With The Past, Fall In Love With The Future" here
Referenced Episodes:
The Secret to Living Your Most Iconic Life
We Have F1 To Blame ft. Noelle Magann and Dani Fryant
00:00 Welcome to Dare to Be Iconic: Unleashing Confidence
00:40 The 30-Day Confidence Challenge: A Recap
02:43 The Power of Self-Love and Accountability
06:00 Unveiling the Journey: Lessons from the Challenge
08:28 Embracing Imperfections: The Path to True Confidence
12:35 The Why Behind the Challenge: Transformative Self-Improvement
19:39 Reflections and Realizations: Growing Through Struggles
23:22 Unlocking the Secret to Confidence
24:25 Looking Ahead: Manifestation and Delusion
Transcript
What's up radiant icons and welcome back to dare to
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:be iconic, the podcast made for
icons daring to be themselves.
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:I'm your host Amanda Paolicelli
and today's tea time sesh is all
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:about confidence that's right.
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:We are talking about the core foundation
of what dare to be iconic is all about.
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:So how can you dare to be yourself
in a world that loves to tell
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:us who we should be, how we
should dress, so on and so forth.
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:How do you walk into a room with
Unwavering confidence and being
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:so comfortable in your skin.
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:How do you do that?
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:Well, Today we are going to recap my 30
day challenge of daring to be confident.
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:Yes that that little challenge that we
did twice this year so far I am recapping
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:all my thoughts here today so that
we can all dare to be iconic together
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:because we are daring to be ourselves.
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:So let's get into it.
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:But before we do that, I dare you
to connect with me on socials.
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:And if you haven't already, make
sure to grab your copy of my journal,
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:break up with the past, fall in love
with the future, your five step guide
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:in turning your pain into power.
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:And all that information is
linked in the show notes below.
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:All right, Radiant Icons.
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:So as I mentioned in our
little introduction, we are
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:talking about confidence.
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:And as I mentioned beforehand,
confidence is the root of what
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:dare to be iconic is all about.
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:Because when I say dare to be iconic,
I basically mean, dare to be yourself.
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:How do you start that confidence journey?
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:Well, I'm going to talk about everything
that I learned on my 30 day challenge of
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:daring to be confident, and it couldn't
have come at a better time in my life.
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:Because I feel like, and a lot of
people say this, that when you are
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:in your mid 20s, your body changes.
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:More than you did in your
early 20s, and shit starts to
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:get real, like, really real.
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:And we're gonna dive deep into
that so I can warn you what no one
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:warned me about when I turned 25.
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:But no, honestly, I'm gonna spill the
tea on how we got to where we are today.
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:Because right now at this time in my life,
I am truly very confident in who I am.
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:Cause I've embraced every little
aspect of what makes Amanda, Amanda,
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:but it wasn't always that way.
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:It really wasn't y'all.
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:So we're going to spill a tea about
all that today and how you can dare
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:to be confident in your everyday life.
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:So are you ready radiant icons?
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:Because your tea time
sesh is starting now.
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:Okay, so the daring to
be confident challenge.
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:Let me tell you I was not like
we're just going to be open and
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:transparent this entire time.
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:I mean, that's what the whole point
of Dare to be Iconic is about, right?
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:Being open and transparent
on the platform that I have.
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:And I'm going to be honest, it was
30 days of daring to be confident and
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:following the, the steps that I set out.
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:Okay.
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:I was not, I did not do
all the steps continuously.
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:Like I did not commit all the way
through with all of the steps.
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:There is one step in particular
that I only did for 11 days.
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:I want to say 11 days.
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:It definitely probably was 11 days,
but I'm going to be so for real.
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:Not all of the steps that I had in
the daring to be confident challenge,
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:I completed throughout the 30 days.
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:I stopped halfway through
because it got too much at times.
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:Life was very, very hectic for me in.
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:Mid April to May, as you guys listened
to the last podcast episode, you would
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:know that we dealt with a lot of anxiety
and panic and stress in May, and daring
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:to be confident did help somewhat, but
it got too much for this specific step,
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:so let's talk about the step of writing
down three things you love about yourself
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:and telling your iconic bestie about it.
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:I had four girlfriends that I did this
challenge with to hold me accountable.
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:And what I learned is that I think
I bit off too much than I can chew.
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:I think I spread myself a little
bit too thin with this challenge.
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:But specifically that step.
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:It is not realistic for me
to write down three things I
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:love about myself every day.
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:I think I could have brought it back and
maybe done twice a week, once a week so
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:that I can build up my tolerance of having
that self reflection time because it's so
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:important and it was Very vital at this
part in my life while I was dealing with a
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:lot of insecurities But y'all oh My god, I
could not commit to doing it all 30 days.
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:Like I just, I just couldn't, like I,
I physically and mentally could not.
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:So I think when I redo this challenge, I'm
going to be a little bit more realistic on
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:the expectations that I set for myself and
you all, which is, you know, maybe combine
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:that journaling with the gratitude of
the three things you love about yourself.
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:Maybe do it once or twice a week.
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:Like I realized when I didn't fully
commit to it for all 30 days that
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:those three things I love about myself.
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:I was getting really hard on myself
and going back into those perfectionist
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:tendencies of, Oh my God, Amanda,
like you need to do X, Y, and Z.
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:You need to be perfect at this.
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:Girl, it's a 30 day challenge on how you
can better your confidence, how you can
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:go on this boosting confidence journey so
within you can feel better about yourself.
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:But I was so stuck in these old
patterns of wanting it to be perfect
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:and wanting to do everything right.
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:Here's the newsflash.
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:When you do something like this,
you are challenging yourself
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:to look within and dig deep.
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:So besides the commitment part, let's
talk about what I learned from writing
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:out three things that I love about
myself and sharing it with my friends.
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:Cause I believe that specific
aspect of this 30 day
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:challenge was very eye opening.
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:So when my girlfriends and I wrote down
our three things, I was like, you know
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:what, let's challenge ourselves and let's
do two personality and one physical.
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:Because I know for me, it was going
to be very difficult for me to say
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:something that I was physically
comfortable with in my body.
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:And then it was going to be easier for
me to write two personality things.
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:And I was like, Oh, great.
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:This is going to be perfect.
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:And the more, as I was going
through it for those 11 days
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:that I stayed consistent in it.
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:At first, you know, you do
the surface level stuff.
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:Oh, I love my eyes.
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:I love my hair.
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:I love how smart I am.
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:Like all these surface level
things that we already know
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:that you love about yourself.
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:But the more you do it.
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:The more specific you have to get, right?
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:You have to dig deeper and
have that self reflection.
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:So when I did these three things that
I love about myself and challenging
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:myself to pick one physical trait,
because I knew that would be the hardest.
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:The more I got into it, the more
I was forced to look within and dig
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:deep and to really, truly think about,
okay, Amanda, what are some things
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:that maybe you neglected that don't
come to mind right away that you
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:actually do love about yourself or
what are some things that you want to
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:love about yourself that you realize.
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:Hey, like I kind of dismiss that
part of my body or I kind of
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:disassociate with this part of
my personality because x y and z.
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:And the more I was able to challenge
myself with those specific prompts,
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:the more I was able to be self aware
of some aspects of myself that I
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:kind of neglected and Put to the back
burner and didn't give as much love to.
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:It's so much easier for me to
say the things that I'm like
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:Oh, yeah, I know i'm funny.
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:Oh, yeah.
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:I know i'm smart.
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:Oh, yeah.
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:I know i'm bold Okay.
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:Yeah, but give me something new.
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:Give me something that
you're scared to talk about.
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:The more I got vulnerable with myself,
the more I was able to create connections
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:and a deeper relationship with my besties,
because I was opening up to myself and
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:then I was challenging myself to talk
about the stuff that's really scary to my
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:besties, which was allowing me to create
some type of common thread even if they
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:aren't able to fully relate to one aspect.
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:So there is one part of me that
I'm always uncomfortable with.
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:I am not the most
comfortable with my arms.
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:I just don't.
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:Like how they look i've tried
everything i've tried doing the
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:weights, I've tried doing the pilates
for the strength training, But no
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:matter what I do my arms will always
be something i'm insecure about.
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:It's probably one of my biggest
insecurities on my body apart from my
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:eczema, but we are all I'm pretty much
aware how my relationship with eczema
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:is, but the more I was able to dig
deep as to why I'm not as confident or
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:comfortable with showing off my arms,
I was able to uncover some really Yeah.
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:Interesting things that I honestly
didn't even think about and when I
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:opened up to my friends about it.
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:I was able to create a common thread
with them whether it's you know They can
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:relate to that specific part like if they
are also are insecure about their arms
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:or allowed them to really think about
something different on their body or in
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:their personality that you know, brought
up some emotions for them and being able
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:to have that open and honest conversation
with your friends and just feeling like
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:you're not alone on this journey of trying
to figure out how to love yourself better
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:and fully embrace every little thing about
yourself makes the journey less scary.
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:Now, I know I say all the time that
the Dare to Be Iconic journey is not
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:just an individual journey It is a
collective journey and one of my friends
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:Dani, which I think was episode 6, I
want to say 6, but she basically said
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:That let your friends be your mirror.
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:And I think that is so relevant to this
daring to be confident challenge because
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:of why we are daring to be ourselves,
why we are daring to be iconic and loving
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:every little imperfection of ourselves.
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:We can get really hard on
ourselves during this journey.
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:I mean, that's just regular
human nature, right?
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:Like we are always going
to be our hardest critics.
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:Always, no matter what.
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:And yes, we should give
ourselves more grace.
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:Yes, we should be kinder to ourselves,
but that's a lot easier said than done.
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:But being able to take in the words of
what Dani had told me, which is, Let your
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:friends I was able to apply that concept
on this journey when it came to having
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:those hard conversations about things that
I don't like to talk about, which is the
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:things that I'm insecure about on my body.
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:Personality wise, we've
fully accepted who we are.
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:It wasn't always like that.
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:But body wise, physically wise.
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:There will always be something on me
that I will not be a hundred percent
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:confident with, but I need to start
loving it and I need to start realizing
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:that I'm not alone in this journey.
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:No one, no one, Is perfect.
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:Even the most perfect
person you can think of.
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:And I know we all have those
people that we are thinking of.
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:Oh my God.
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:Like they're so perfect.
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:I can name one person right now
that we probably all know who,
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:who in my mind I am thinking of,
but like, they are not perfect.
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:They don't love every single thing about
themselves, whether that's physically.
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:Personality wise, like, anything, right?
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:But being able to think of, let my friends
be that mirror in that moment, when I'm
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:being vulnerable, when I'm opening up to
them about stuff that, you know, makes me
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:feel not as confident, and I I I'm trying
to love myself, shows so much About who
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:you are as a person and it allows you
to really want to propel forward and be
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:motivated In continuing out this journey.
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:Being able to know that you are not alone
when you're figuring shit out probably
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:the best feeling right because at times
it can feel so Isolating when you're
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:just trying to figure out life when
you're trying to figure out who you are.
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:But being able to have people that
you trust and that you love and
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:that you're able to have these
like really deep conversations
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:with makes everything worthwhile.
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:Furthermore, let's go to one of the most
important points of this challenge is
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:going back to your why now i've been very
open and honest about my Not my confidence
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:struggles, but I would say my eczema
struggles Specifically in episode four
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:the secret to living your most iconic
life Which I will link in the show notes
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:below if you haven't listened to it.
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:I do have to say it's probably one
of my favorite episodes talking
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:about that dare to be iconic mindset.
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:Confidence is such a big factor of that
mindset but going back into my why.
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:Whenever you go on a transformative
self improvement journey like this one,
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:even if it's just for 30 days and you
decided to dip your toe into the pool
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:and like kind of see how it is . It
is so important to go back to your why
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:because I think It's like a fine line.
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:You're tiptoeing sometimes when you're
talking about, or at least for me with
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:my experience with my body, it can get to
an unhealthy obsession of wanting to look
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:a certain way for x, y, and z purposes.
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:Now, since I was a little girl, I've
always had body image issues, and I
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:think it started in, I want to say like
second or third grade, and I, As we all
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:know from my social media, um, I love
to show off certain parts of my body.
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:I'm fully, I think, embraced
every aspect of how I look,
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:but it wasn't always like that.
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:I'm still insecure about my arms as we
all know, but I'm always been insecure
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:about my body shape, my body type.
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:It's not what the traditional
Hollywood esque is, accepting, right?
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:Or, or pleasing to them, right?
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:I will never be what Hollywood deems as
beautiful, or at least when I was growing
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:up, cause now we're a little bit more
accepting of different beauty types and
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:shapes, and I think that's amazing and
that's so beautiful and that's so vital.
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:But when I was younger, especially
in second and third grade, the
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:body types that were Glorified did
not look anything like mine and
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:being in a performing background,
the smaller you were, the better.
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:And, for me, it was always this mental
and physical battle of trying to be
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:what society deemed as beautiful.
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:And it took a while to gain that self
esteem and that high self concept and
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:that self confidence in how I look until
honestly now, which we're still struggling
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:with, but getting back to my why.
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:I didn't want to go back to these
unhealthy habits that I had picked
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:up when I was younger of trying to
attain a certain Body image or look.
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:I started seeing the thoughts
pop back in and Specifically
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:when it went to my eczema.
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:I as we all know I am a perfectionist
and for anyone who's a perfectionist
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:They'll know like it's so so hard trying
to break those habits of wanting to
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:just be perfect and On this daring to
be iconic journey for me, I know a big
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:thing I say is be imperfectly iconic.
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:It's so freeing when you do, but at
times it's very, very hard, especially
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:from the background that I come in with
this, you know, perfectionist tendencies.
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:I want everything to be X,
Y, and Z perfect to a T.
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:And while we're trying that, I noticed
that when my eczema, having the
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:worst flare up I've ever had at the
inning of this year, January,:
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:It's been seven years since I've ever
experienced a flare up like that and
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:last time was in high school until,
you know, the beginning of this year.
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:But I just didn't know what was
going on with my body and my legs.
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:Cause it was on my legs.
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:It was like, it was the worst flare
up I've ever experienced in my life.
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:But seeing my body change overnight
and seeing these big red spots on my
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:legs and just Feeling so ugly and so
down on myself on how I looked and
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:something that I couldn't control, right?
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:Because eczema is something
that you cannot cure.
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:It's something that you have no control
over and someone who loves to have control
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:over everything It is so hard But it was
the hardest mental battle and physical
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:battle i've ever had was at the beginning
of this year Dealing with my skin In my
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:mind basically betraying me because it
was like overnight my legs Just changed.
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:I didn't Recognize what I was looking
at in the mirror and all the thoughts
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:that I had about myself were not nice
thoughts at all, And i'm not Proud
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:of the things I thought about myself.
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:Um, and I don't wish it upon anyone
It was really hard and I was like,
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:how do I get out of this hole?
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:How do I dig myself out and like the more
I was talking to my girlfriends about it.
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:The more, You know, They were able
to open up to me on like things that
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:they were insecure about on their body
like even if they couldn't relate To
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:eczema there were other things For them
physically that they were dealing with.
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:And I was like, how can we all
combat these insecurities together?
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:How can we become more
confident in who we are?
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:And that's how the daring to be
confident challenge was birthed.
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:Basically was because, one, didn't want
to go back to that perpetuous cycle
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:of negative thoughts about myself.
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:I wanted to break it right then and there.
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:Two, I realized that there was really
a problem that we needed a solution to.
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:And if we all are feeling this
insecure and uncomfortable In our
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:skin, how can we collectively go
on a journey to love ourselves?
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:Because that's what my
whole platform is about.
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:So how can we fix this?
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:How can we do better?
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:And how can we perpetuate
a feeling of Positivity and
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:happiness and comfortability
in our bodies together, right?
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:And also I don't like doing things
alone when it comes to challenges.
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:I feel like I'm more motivated when
I'm with someone that I know and love.
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:That was my why.
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:My why is I wanted to better myself and
I, I saw a problem that wasn't being
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:fixed and I was like, you know what?
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:I've used my voice this
far in life on my platform.
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:Why not continue it with the challenge
and why not see how it goes?
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:And that was my why, and that's.
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:Why we started the Daring
to be Confident Challenge.
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:And I think it's turned out pretty well.
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:I think it was pretty successful.
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:Overall, I definitely noticed some things,
such as the one I mentioned before.
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:Like, that was the biggest lesson.
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:Making sure I don't
spread myself too thin.
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:That I'm a little bit more realistic in
things that I expect to do for 30 days.
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:And self reflection was so important
because it brought up emotions
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:in myself and memories that I
disassociated with and kind of forgot.
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:So even though I wasn't continuous
in that one specific step, because
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:all the other steps in this
challenge, honestly, were a breeze.
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:It was so, so easy, but writing the
three things I loved about myself was the
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:most challenging part of this challenge.
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:And it really opened my eyes to things
that I can work on and do better.
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:And it really allowed me to see
myself in a different light.
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:And I definitely think, coming out of
it, that I've not only learned a lot
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:about myself, but I'm more confident.
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:And I realize that when I have
negative thoughts about, Oh, I
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:don't look cute in this photo.
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:I hate that angle of myself.
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:Why do I look this way?
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:Or, Oh my god, Amanda, like,
you are literally too much.
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:Like, cause I have this fear of being
too much for people sometimes, you know?
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:But, I'm imperfectly iconic.
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:But, That specific step in this challenge
has taught me so much and truly
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:allowed me to have the self reflection
that I think I neglected for a while.
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:Because when I journal, I love a good
prompt and I love just writing what's
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:on my mind and I have a gratitude
journal with the manifestation journal
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:that I also do and we will talk about
that in the next episode I promise you
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:we will not not forget to talk about
manifestation delusion but I think when
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:I do my regular journaling at the end
of the day sometimes I skirt around
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:the deeper and harder conversations
that I need to have with myself.
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:And by forcing myself to really look
within and go beneath the surface level,
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:it opened my eyes to a lot of things
that I was neglecting within myself.
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:And it made me I realize a lot about
who I am and what I can handle and what
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:I need to pour more love back into.
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:I think that specific step is
something that I will take with
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:me for the rest of my life.
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:Because it's going to force me to think
deeper about who I am, and who would
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:I be if I keep telling you guys, dare
to be you, dare to be iconic, if I
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:don't continue on in this journey of
self improvement and self reflection.
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:Because like I've said multiple
times before, like, I am not perfect.
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:I am imperfectly iconic, and I own all my
failures, and I own all my triumphs, and
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:I own all the little in between moments
of my life and I share them here so
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:that we can all learn from them because
there are universal lessons and I think
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:the universal lesson with confidence is
that you have to have self reflection
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:even when it's sticky and icky and
it's the stuff that you don't want to
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:talk about, right there in the ugly, in
the hard parts is where you are going
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:to learn the most about yourself and
that's where your confidence skyrockets.
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:The easy and the fun parts.
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:Oh my God.
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:Of course.
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:That's.
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:The most amazing parts of life, right?
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:But when you think about it.
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:The hard shit is when you
learn the most about yourself.
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:It always is.
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:When you go through struggles That's why
turning your pain into power is one of
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:the biggest lessons that I love to talk
about because it's really in those hard
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:times Where you can turn it into a source
of strength is where you learn what you
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:are capable of and I think that's the
same concept when it comes to confidence.
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:It's when you take the time to have
those hard conversations with yourself.
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:It's when you talk about the stuff
that's not surface level, and you dig
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:down deep, and you really find out who
you are, and you start embracing it.
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:Because the whole point of daring to
be yourself, daring to be iconic, is
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:loving every little part of yourself.
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:The good, the bad, the ugly,
and everything in between.
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:And that's the secret to confidence.
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:The secret to confidence is being able to
talk about the hard shit, to look within,
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:and challenge yourself to start loving it.
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:It's easy for us to love the
good parts about us, right?
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:The good, shiny parts that we
put on display on social media.
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:But those hard parts that we either
hide behind a mask or we just dig
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:down deep, like we push that down.
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:When we face it, that's when we
learn the most about ourselves.
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:That's when we dare to be iconic.
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:That's when we dare to be confident.
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:That's when you dare to be yourself.
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:All right, radiant icons.
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:That is your tea time sesh for today.
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:I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
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:And if you did, don't forget to leave
a review, leave a rating, share it with
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:your friends, share it on social media.
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:I'll Honestly, anything and anything
you want to do, please do it.
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:And if you do share it on social
media, make sure to tag me.
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:My socials again are in
the show notes below.
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:And let's talk about next week, shall we?
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:Because I am so excited.
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:We are talking about
manifestation and delusion.
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:And as most of you know.
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:Whom are listening to this.
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:I am the queen of delusion.
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:I solely live off of delusion.
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:And look at where we are, baby.
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:We are running our own business.
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:But honestly, delusion is the solution.
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:It is the resolution of
making your dreams a reality.
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:Because whatever you want
in life, you can have.
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:And delusion is the secret to it
with a little bit of manifestation.
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:So I am revealing all my manifestation
techniques and routines and all that
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:good stuff in next week's episode.
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:So make sure to stay tuned.
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:And anyway, I will talk
to you guys next week.
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:Remember radiant icons dare to be iconic.
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:Bye.