Daring To Be Confident

Amanda Paolicelli: 00:00:01

What's up radiant icons and welcome back to dare to

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be iconic, the podcast made for

icons daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host Amanda Paolicelli

and today's tea time sesh is all

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about confidence that's right.

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We are talking about the core foundation

of what dare to be iconic is all about.

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So how can you dare to be yourself

in a world that loves to tell

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us who we should be, how we

should dress, so on and so forth.

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How do you walk into a room with

Unwavering confidence and being

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so comfortable in your skin.

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How do you do that?

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Well, Today we are going to recap my 30

day challenge of daring to be confident.

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Yes that that little challenge that we

did twice this year so far I am recapping

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all my thoughts here today so that

we can all dare to be iconic together

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because we are daring to be ourselves.

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So let's get into it.

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But before we do that, I dare you

to connect with me on socials.

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And if you haven't already, make

sure to grab your copy of my journal,

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break up with the past, fall in love

with the future, your five step guide

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in turning your pain into power.

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And all that information is

linked in the show notes below.

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All right, Radiant Icons.

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So as I mentioned in our

little introduction, we are

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talking about confidence.

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And as I mentioned beforehand,

confidence is the root of what

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dare to be iconic is all about.

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Because when I say dare to be iconic,

I basically mean, dare to be yourself.

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How do you start that confidence journey?

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Well, I'm going to talk about everything

that I learned on my 30 day challenge of

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daring to be confident, and it couldn't

have come at a better time in my life.

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Because I feel like, and a lot of

people say this, that when you are

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in your mid 20s, your body changes.

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More than you did in your

early 20s, and shit starts to

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get real, like, really real.

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And we're gonna dive deep into

that so I can warn you what no one

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warned me about when I turned 25.

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But no, honestly, I'm gonna spill the

tea on how we got to where we are today.

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Because right now at this time in my life,

I am truly very confident in who I am.

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Cause I've embraced every little

aspect of what makes Amanda, Amanda,

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but it wasn't always that way.

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It really wasn't y'all.

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So we're going to spill a tea about

all that today and how you can dare

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to be confident in your everyday life.

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So are you ready radiant icons?

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Because your tea time

sesh is starting now.

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Okay, so the daring to

be confident challenge.

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Let me tell you I was not like

we're just going to be open and

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transparent this entire time.

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I mean, that's what the whole point

of Dare to be Iconic is about, right?

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Being open and transparent

on the platform that I have.

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And I'm going to be honest, it was

30 days of daring to be confident and

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following the, the steps that I set out.

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Okay.

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I was not, I did not do

all the steps continuously.

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Like I did not commit all the way

through with all of the steps.

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There is one step in particular

that I only did for 11 days.

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I want to say 11 days.

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It definitely probably was 11 days,

but I'm going to be so for real.

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Not all of the steps that I had in

the daring to be confident challenge,

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I completed throughout the 30 days.

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I stopped halfway through

because it got too much at times.

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Life was very, very hectic for me in.

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Mid April to May, as you guys listened

to the last podcast episode, you would

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know that we dealt with a lot of anxiety

and panic and stress in May, and daring

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to be confident did help somewhat, but

it got too much for this specific step,

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so let's talk about the step of writing

down three things you love about yourself

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and telling your iconic bestie about it.

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I had four girlfriends that I did this

challenge with to hold me accountable.

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And what I learned is that I think

I bit off too much than I can chew.

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I think I spread myself a little

bit too thin with this challenge.

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But specifically that step.

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It is not realistic for me

to write down three things I

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love about myself every day.

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I think I could have brought it back and

maybe done twice a week, once a week so

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that I can build up my tolerance of having

that self reflection time because it's so

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important and it was Very vital at this

part in my life while I was dealing with a

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lot of insecurities But y'all oh My god, I

could not commit to doing it all 30 days.

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Like I just, I just couldn't, like I,

I physically and mentally could not.

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So I think when I redo this challenge, I'm

going to be a little bit more realistic on

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the expectations that I set for myself and

you all, which is, you know, maybe combine

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that journaling with the gratitude of

the three things you love about yourself.

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Maybe do it once or twice a week.

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Like I realized when I didn't fully

commit to it for all 30 days that

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those three things I love about myself.

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I was getting really hard on myself

and going back into those perfectionist

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tendencies of, Oh my God, Amanda,

like you need to do X, Y, and Z.

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You need to be perfect at this.

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Girl, it's a 30 day challenge on how you

can better your confidence, how you can

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go on this boosting confidence journey so

within you can feel better about yourself.

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But I was so stuck in these old

patterns of wanting it to be perfect

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and wanting to do everything right.

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Here's the newsflash.

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When you do something like this,

you are challenging yourself

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to look within and dig deep.

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So besides the commitment part, let's

talk about what I learned from writing

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out three things that I love about

myself and sharing it with my friends.

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Cause I believe that specific

aspect of this 30 day

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challenge was very eye opening.

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So when my girlfriends and I wrote down

our three things, I was like, you know

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what, let's challenge ourselves and let's

do two personality and one physical.

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Because I know for me, it was going

to be very difficult for me to say

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something that I was physically

comfortable with in my body.

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And then it was going to be easier for

me to write two personality things.

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And I was like, Oh, great.

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This is going to be perfect.

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And the more, as I was going

through it for those 11 days

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that I stayed consistent in it.

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At first, you know, you do

the surface level stuff.

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Oh, I love my eyes.

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I love my hair.

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I love how smart I am.

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Like all these surface level

things that we already know

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that you love about yourself.

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But the more you do it.

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The more specific you have to get, right?

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You have to dig deeper and

have that self reflection.

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So when I did these three things that

I love about myself and challenging

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myself to pick one physical trait,

because I knew that would be the hardest.

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The more I got into it, the more

I was forced to look within and dig

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deep and to really, truly think about,

okay, Amanda, what are some things

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that maybe you neglected that don't

come to mind right away that you

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actually do love about yourself or

what are some things that you want to

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love about yourself that you realize.

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Hey, like I kind of dismiss that

part of my body or I kind of

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disassociate with this part of

my personality because x y and z.

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And the more I was able to challenge

myself with those specific prompts,

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the more I was able to be self aware

of some aspects of myself that I

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kind of neglected and Put to the back

burner and didn't give as much love to.

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It's so much easier for me to

say the things that I'm like

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Oh, yeah, I know i'm funny.

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Oh, yeah.

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I know i'm smart.

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Oh, yeah.

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I know i'm bold Okay.

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Yeah, but give me something new.

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Give me something that

you're scared to talk about.

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The more I got vulnerable with myself,

the more I was able to create connections

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and a deeper relationship with my besties,

because I was opening up to myself and

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then I was challenging myself to talk

about the stuff that's really scary to my

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besties, which was allowing me to create

some type of common thread even if they

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aren't able to fully relate to one aspect.

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So there is one part of me that

I'm always uncomfortable with.

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I am not the most

comfortable with my arms.

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I just don't.

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Like how they look i've tried

everything i've tried doing the

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weights, I've tried doing the pilates

for the strength training, But no

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matter what I do my arms will always

be something i'm insecure about.

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It's probably one of my biggest

insecurities on my body apart from my

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eczema, but we are all I'm pretty much

aware how my relationship with eczema

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is, but the more I was able to dig

deep as to why I'm not as confident or

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comfortable with showing off my arms,

I was able to uncover some really Yeah.

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Interesting things that I honestly

didn't even think about and when I

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opened up to my friends about it.

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I was able to create a common thread

with them whether it's you know They can

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relate to that specific part like if they

are also are insecure about their arms

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or allowed them to really think about

something different on their body or in

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their personality that you know, brought

up some emotions for them and being able

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to have that open and honest conversation

with your friends and just feeling like

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you're not alone on this journey of trying

to figure out how to love yourself better

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and fully embrace every little thing about

yourself makes the journey less scary.

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Now, I know I say all the time that

the Dare to Be Iconic journey is not

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just an individual journey It is a

collective journey and one of my friends

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Dani, which I think was episode 6, I

want to say 6, but she basically said

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That let your friends be your mirror.

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And I think that is so relevant to this

daring to be confident challenge because

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of why we are daring to be ourselves,

why we are daring to be iconic and loving

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every little imperfection of ourselves.

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We can get really hard on

ourselves during this journey.

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I mean, that's just regular

human nature, right?

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Like we are always going

to be our hardest critics.

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Always, no matter what.

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And yes, we should give

ourselves more grace.

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Yes, we should be kinder to ourselves,

but that's a lot easier said than done.

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But being able to take in the words of

what Dani had told me, which is, Let your

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friends I was able to apply that concept

on this journey when it came to having

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those hard conversations about things that

I don't like to talk about, which is the

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things that I'm insecure about on my body.

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Personality wise, we've

fully accepted who we are.

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It wasn't always like that.

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But body wise, physically wise.

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There will always be something on me

that I will not be a hundred percent

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confident with, but I need to start

loving it and I need to start realizing

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that I'm not alone in this journey.

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No one, no one, Is perfect.

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Even the most perfect

person you can think of.

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And I know we all have those

people that we are thinking of.

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Oh my God.

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Like they're so perfect.

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I can name one person right now

that we probably all know who,

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who in my mind I am thinking of,

but like, they are not perfect.

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They don't love every single thing about

themselves, whether that's physically.

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Personality wise, like, anything, right?

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But being able to think of, let my friends

be that mirror in that moment, when I'm

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being vulnerable, when I'm opening up to

them about stuff that, you know, makes me

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feel not as confident, and I I I'm trying

to love myself, shows so much About who

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you are as a person and it allows you

to really want to propel forward and be

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motivated In continuing out this journey.

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Being able to know that you are not alone

when you're figuring shit out probably

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the best feeling right because at times

it can feel so Isolating when you're

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just trying to figure out life when

you're trying to figure out who you are.

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But being able to have people that

you trust and that you love and

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that you're able to have these

like really deep conversations

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with makes everything worthwhile.

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Furthermore, let's go to one of the most

important points of this challenge is

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going back to your why now i've been very

open and honest about my Not my confidence

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struggles, but I would say my eczema

struggles Specifically in episode four

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the secret to living your most iconic

life Which I will link in the show notes

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below if you haven't listened to it.

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I do have to say it's probably one

of my favorite episodes talking

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about that dare to be iconic mindset.

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Confidence is such a big factor of that

mindset but going back into my why.

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Whenever you go on a transformative

self improvement journey like this one,

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even if it's just for 30 days and you

decided to dip your toe into the pool

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and like kind of see how it is . It

is so important to go back to your why

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because I think It's like a fine line.

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You're tiptoeing sometimes when you're

talking about, or at least for me with

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my experience with my body, it can get to

an unhealthy obsession of wanting to look

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a certain way for x, y, and z purposes.

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Now, since I was a little girl, I've

always had body image issues, and I

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think it started in, I want to say like

second or third grade, and I, As we all

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know from my social media, um, I love

to show off certain parts of my body.

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I'm fully, I think, embraced

every aspect of how I look,

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but it wasn't always like that.

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I'm still insecure about my arms as we

all know, but I'm always been insecure

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about my body shape, my body type.

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It's not what the traditional

Hollywood esque is, accepting, right?

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Or, or pleasing to them, right?

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I will never be what Hollywood deems as

beautiful, or at least when I was growing

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up, cause now we're a little bit more

accepting of different beauty types and

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shapes, and I think that's amazing and

that's so beautiful and that's so vital.

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But when I was younger, especially

in second and third grade, the

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body types that were Glorified did

not look anything like mine and

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being in a performing background,

the smaller you were, the better.

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And, for me, it was always this mental

and physical battle of trying to be

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what society deemed as beautiful.

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And it took a while to gain that self

esteem and that high self concept and

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that self confidence in how I look until

honestly now, which we're still struggling

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with, but getting back to my why.

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I didn't want to go back to these

unhealthy habits that I had picked

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up when I was younger of trying to

attain a certain Body image or look.

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I started seeing the thoughts

pop back in and Specifically

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when it went to my eczema.

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I as we all know I am a perfectionist

and for anyone who's a perfectionist

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They'll know like it's so so hard trying

to break those habits of wanting to

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just be perfect and On this daring to

be iconic journey for me, I know a big

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thing I say is be imperfectly iconic.

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It's so freeing when you do, but at

times it's very, very hard, especially

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from the background that I come in with

this, you know, perfectionist tendencies.

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I want everything to be X,

Y, and Z perfect to a T.

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And while we're trying that, I noticed

that when my eczema, having the

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worst flare up I've ever had at the

inning of this year, January,: 2024

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It's been seven years since I've ever

experienced a flare up like that and

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last time was in high school until,

you know, the beginning of this year.

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But I just didn't know what was

going on with my body and my legs.

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Cause it was on my legs.

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It was like, it was the worst flare

up I've ever experienced in my life.

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But seeing my body change overnight

and seeing these big red spots on my

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legs and just Feeling so ugly and so

down on myself on how I looked and

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something that I couldn't control, right?

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Because eczema is something

that you cannot cure.

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It's something that you have no control

over and someone who loves to have control

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over everything It is so hard But it was

the hardest mental battle and physical

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battle i've ever had was at the beginning

of this year Dealing with my skin In my

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mind basically betraying me because it

was like overnight my legs Just changed.

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I didn't Recognize what I was looking

at in the mirror and all the thoughts

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that I had about myself were not nice

thoughts at all, And i'm not Proud

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of the things I thought about myself.

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Um, and I don't wish it upon anyone

It was really hard and I was like,

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how do I get out of this hole?

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How do I dig myself out and like the more

I was talking to my girlfriends about it.

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The more, You know, They were able

to open up to me on like things that

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they were insecure about on their body

like even if they couldn't relate To

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eczema there were other things For them

physically that they were dealing with.

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And I was like, how can we all

combat these insecurities together?

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How can we become more

confident in who we are?

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And that's how the daring to be

confident challenge was birthed.

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Basically was because, one, didn't want

to go back to that perpetuous cycle

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of negative thoughts about myself.

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I wanted to break it right then and there.

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Two, I realized that there was really

a problem that we needed a solution to.

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And if we all are feeling this

insecure and uncomfortable In our

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skin, how can we collectively go

on a journey to love ourselves?

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Because that's what my

whole platform is about.

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So how can we fix this?

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How can we do better?

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And how can we perpetuate

a feeling of Positivity and

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happiness and comfortability

in our bodies together, right?

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And also I don't like doing things

alone when it comes to challenges.

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I feel like I'm more motivated when

I'm with someone that I know and love.

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That was my why.

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My why is I wanted to better myself and

I, I saw a problem that wasn't being

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fixed and I was like, you know what?

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I've used my voice this

far in life on my platform.

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Why not continue it with the challenge

and why not see how it goes?

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And that was my why, and that's.

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Why we started the Daring

to be Confident Challenge.

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And I think it's turned out pretty well.

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I think it was pretty successful.

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Overall, I definitely noticed some things,

such as the one I mentioned before.

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Like, that was the biggest lesson.

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Making sure I don't

spread myself too thin.

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That I'm a little bit more realistic in

things that I expect to do for 30 days.

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And self reflection was so important

because it brought up emotions

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in myself and memories that I

disassociated with and kind of forgot.

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So even though I wasn't continuous

in that one specific step, because

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all the other steps in this

challenge, honestly, were a breeze.

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It was so, so easy, but writing the

three things I loved about myself was the

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most challenging part of this challenge.

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And it really opened my eyes to things

that I can work on and do better.

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And it really allowed me to see

myself in a different light.

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And I definitely think, coming out of

it, that I've not only learned a lot

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about myself, but I'm more confident.

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: 00:20:13

And I realize that when I have

negative thoughts about, Oh, I

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don't look cute in this photo.

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: 00:20:18

I hate that angle of myself.

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: 00:20:19

Why do I look this way?

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Or, Oh my god, Amanda, like,

you are literally too much.

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Like, cause I have this fear of being

too much for people sometimes, you know?

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But, I'm imperfectly iconic.

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But, That specific step in this challenge

has taught me so much and truly

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allowed me to have the self reflection

that I think I neglected for a while.

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Because when I journal, I love a good

prompt and I love just writing what's

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on my mind and I have a gratitude

journal with the manifestation journal

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that I also do and we will talk about

that in the next episode I promise you

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: 00:20:49

we will not not forget to talk about

manifestation delusion but I think when

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: 00:20:54

I do my regular journaling at the end

of the day sometimes I skirt around

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: 00:20:59

the deeper and harder conversations

that I need to have with myself.

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And by forcing myself to really look

within and go beneath the surface level,

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it opened my eyes to a lot of things

that I was neglecting within myself.

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: 00:21:14

And it made me I realize a lot about

who I am and what I can handle and what

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I need to pour more love back into.

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I think that specific step is

something that I will take with

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me for the rest of my life.

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: 00:21:30

Because it's going to force me to think

deeper about who I am, and who would

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: 00:21:35

I be if I keep telling you guys, dare

to be you, dare to be iconic, if I

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: 00:21:40

don't continue on in this journey of

self improvement and self reflection.

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: 00:21:46

Because like I've said multiple

times before, like, I am not perfect.

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: 00:21:49

I am imperfectly iconic, and I own all my

failures, and I own all my triumphs, and

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: 00:21:57

I own all the little in between moments

of my life and I share them here so

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: 00:22:01

that we can all learn from them because

there are universal lessons and I think

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: 00:22:05

the universal lesson with confidence is

that you have to have self reflection

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: 00:22:11

even when it's sticky and icky and

it's the stuff that you don't want to

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talk about, right there in the ugly, in

the hard parts is where you are going

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: 00:22:22

to learn the most about yourself and

that's where your confidence skyrockets.

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: 00:22:27

The easy and the fun parts.

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Oh my God.

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: 00:22:29

Of course.

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: 00:22:29

That's.

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: 00:22:30

The most amazing parts of life, right?

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: 00:22:32

But when you think about it.

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: 00:22:34

The hard shit is when you

learn the most about yourself.

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: 00:22:38

It always is.

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: 00:22:39

When you go through struggles That's why

turning your pain into power is one of

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: 00:22:44

the biggest lessons that I love to talk

about because it's really in those hard

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: 00:22:49

times Where you can turn it into a source

of strength is where you learn what you

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: 00:22:54

are capable of and I think that's the

same concept when it comes to confidence.

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: 00:22:58

It's when you take the time to have

those hard conversations with yourself.

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: 00:23:02

It's when you talk about the stuff

that's not surface level, and you dig

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: 00:23:06

down deep, and you really find out who

you are, and you start embracing it.

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: 00:23:11

Because the whole point of daring to

be yourself, daring to be iconic, is

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: 00:23:16

loving every little part of yourself.

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: 00:23:19

The good, the bad, the ugly,

and everything in between.

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: 00:23:22

And that's the secret to confidence.

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: 00:23:25

The secret to confidence is being able to

talk about the hard shit, to look within,

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: 00:23:31

and challenge yourself to start loving it.

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: 00:23:35

It's easy for us to love the

good parts about us, right?

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: 00:23:39

The good, shiny parts that we

put on display on social media.

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: 00:23:44

But those hard parts that we either

hide behind a mask or we just dig

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: 00:23:49

down deep, like we push that down.

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: 00:23:51

When we face it, that's when we

learn the most about ourselves.

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: 00:23:54

That's when we dare to be iconic.

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: 00:23:56

That's when we dare to be confident.

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: 00:23:58

That's when you dare to be yourself.

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: 00:24:01

All right, radiant icons.

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: 00:24:02

That is your tea time sesh for today.

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: 00:24:04

I hope you enjoyed today's episode.

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: 00:24:07

And if you did, don't forget to leave

a review, leave a rating, share it with

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: 00:24:11

your friends, share it on social media.

378

: 00:24:13

I'll Honestly, anything and anything

you want to do, please do it.

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: 00:24:17

And if you do share it on social

media, make sure to tag me.

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: 00:24:21

My socials again are in

the show notes below.

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: 00:24:25

And let's talk about next week, shall we?

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: 00:24:27

Because I am so excited.

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: 00:24:30

We are talking about

manifestation and delusion.

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: 00:24:35

And as most of you know.

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: 00:24:37

Whom are listening to this.

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: 00:24:39

I am the queen of delusion.

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: 00:24:42

I solely live off of delusion.

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: 00:24:44

And look at where we are, baby.

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: 00:24:45

We are running our own business.

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: 00:24:46

But honestly, delusion is the solution.

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: 00:24:49

It is the resolution of

making your dreams a reality.

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: 00:24:53

Because whatever you want

in life, you can have.

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: 00:24:57

And delusion is the secret to it

with a little bit of manifestation.

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: 00:25:01

So I am revealing all my manifestation

techniques and routines and all that

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: 00:25:06

good stuff in next week's episode.

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: 00:25:08

So make sure to stay tuned.

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: 00:25:10

And anyway, I will talk

to you guys next week.

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: 00:25:13

Remember radiant icons dare to be iconic.

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: 00:25:17

Bye.