The Beauty of Healing and Evolving with Alison Renée

Amanda Paolicelli: 00:00:00

What is up, radiant icons, and welcome back to

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Dare to be Iconic, the podcast made

for icons daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli and for

today's tea time sesh, we are joined by

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one of my really good friends, mental

health and self growth influencer,

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Alison Renee, also known on socials as

Evolving Alison, and we are spilling

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the tea about mental health, healing,

comparison and all that good stuff, but

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before we get into that, I dare you to

follow me on Instagram and connect with

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me on LinkedIn and that information

can be found in the show notes below.

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All right, Radiant icons, your

tea time sesh is starting now.

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Let's welcome our third everyday

icon who is daring to be herself

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in her everyday life by using her

platform to start discussions about

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mental health and self growth.

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A little background, Radiant Icons, if

you don't know, Alison and I did a collab

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on Instagram and we met on this site

called Busy Blooming for entrepreneurs.

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We've never met each other before and we

just message each other on social media.

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So we're like, let's do it.

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I'm so excited that you're here.

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And I have two questions before

we spill the tea about healing.

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Alison Renee: Yeah.

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Let's do this.

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Amanda Paolicelli: What

does iconic mean to you?

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And how do you dare to be

iconic in your everyday life?

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Alison Renee: Being iconic, like I

love your saying there because it's not

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like there are certain like rules and

it's kind of like a personal authentic

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journey and you can interpret being

iconic however you want and personally

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for me, it's just Not caring about

people's opinions and being authentic

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because like for so long I've tried to

mold into the people I was around to make

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sure that like I'm accepted and like But

being iconic is like breaking past that.

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It's like no more.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes.

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It's like no more.

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It's like being proud of yourself.

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Alison Renee: Yes, and like being who you

are and like being yourself is so powerful

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because then it filters out All the people

that aren't meant to be there anyway.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes,

exactly, allison, yes!

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Alison Renee: Yeah, like,

quality over quantity.

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Amanda Paolicelli: If I could

put that on a t shirt, I would.

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Like, that is a lesson.

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Alison Renee: Quality over quantity?

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes, that is a

lesson that I've had to learn the

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hard way because I think throughout

my life, I relate so much on the,

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I wanted to fit in and mold into

what everyone else wanted me to be.

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And it took me until last year, 24,

to realize, no, I need to be who I

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am, but I didn't ,,know who I was.

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So I had to go on that journey.

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And that really weeded through the

people who were meant to be in my life.

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Alison Renee: I can definitely

relate because I used to think, the

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more people I have, the more worthy

I am, and, the more liked I am.

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But then we perceive filtering

out the wrong people and only

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having a close circle a bad thing.

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We used to think, but it's really

draining, like, if you're just

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attending everyone's opinions and

being the caregiver person like that.

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That's personally for me.

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I just felt like I was

Abandoning myself the whole time.

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Amanda Paolicelli: So, how do

you take that into daring to be

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iconic in your everyday life with

your platform Evolving Allison?

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Alison Renee: That's a very good

question because you happen to be in

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front of an audience on social media.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yeah, exactly.

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Alison Renee: So many opinions.

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Like, it is crazy.

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So, daring to be iconic in that way is

not caring about those comments, not

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caring about even the people around you.

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Like, your friends and family,

Oh, she's recording on camera.

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Like, who does she think she is?

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It's daring to be iconic and I have

a message to say to my followers

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through my platforms and it's focusing

on that and not the outside voices.

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Just, I'm here for a purpose.

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I'm showing up for a purpose.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes, because you

know in your heart it was there for

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a reason so why not take that risk

on yourself and keep building that

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community and using your voice.

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So, how do you remain emotionally

vulnerable online by also

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taking care of yourself?

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Alison Renee: You know, when people

have a platform and they have people

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that look up to them, you kind of.

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Put on your best behavior by default.

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You, you want to show that everything's

okay because you're there to take

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care of others and other people

on the other side of the screen.

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Sometimes people forget we are people

as well with emotions and we behind the

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scenes like we could whip out the camera

and like be the happiest person, but be

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dealing with something behind the scenes.

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And it's just really about

finding that balance.

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It's not like we want to hide it,

but I think it's more important to

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actually show that that is our life too.

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Like we have emotions as well.

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That's why I'm not afraid

to cry on social media.

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That's why I'm not afraid

to like express anger.

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I don't have to be some like

positive person all the time

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and that in itself is self care.

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It is admitting that I am allowed

to feel sad in front of an

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audience and that is like helping

connect people at the same time.

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So, I think that's just

really self care in itself.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Do you think

it also goes into boundaries?

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Like I suck at boundaries.

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That is a continuous learning process

for me, especially with dare to be

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iconic, like I spill all the tea about

my life, but I'm kind of decidingwhat

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are some things that I can share now and

what are some things that I save for

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when further removed from the situation.

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So do you think within that self care and

self love that you mentioned boundaries

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are a big part of it, and do you

struggle with figuring that out as well?

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Alison Renee: I definitely struggle

with boundaries too, and I know it,

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it is difficult on our journey because

there's also that people pleasing

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part, and we don't want to, like, upset

anyone, and it's also the nature of,

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like, not knowing how to set those

boundaries or what boundaries to set.

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I personally, struggle with that too.

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And communicating my needs, because,

like, you and I, I know, like, we've came

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such a long way, but it doesn't mean that

we're perfect, like, our old self is gonna

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come back still, and that younger, like,

heartbroken self is still gonna come, and,

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like, wanting to be loved, so, like, we're

gonna, like, you know, minimize ourselves

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sometimes, and, it's all about that jump

of realizing that, like, We are still

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worth it, even if we set those boundaries.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes.

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Oh, you hit that on the nose so good.

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I don't know if you know this, Alison,

I call my birthday National Amanda Day.

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Like, I make it-

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Alison Renee: Good, as you should.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Thank you, thank

you, I don't know if my parents agree.

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I think they're kind of over it by now.

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But like, it's okay.

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But, anywho, I make my

birthday a big deal.

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But, one thing I've realized

within the last two birthdays, I

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would say, is that a part of me

will always be the Amanda at 16.

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The part of me will always be the Amanda

that got broken up with a letter in a box.

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There will always be a part of

me, no matter how much I continue

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growing and evolving, and I love how

you put that in perspective for us.

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So what have you realized on your

healing journey that you're like,

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huh, if I can tell my younger

self this, what would it be?

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Alison Renee: I would definitely tell

myself that in this situation that you're

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in right now, it's not going to last.

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And when I'm looking back at this specific

person that I was, I was diagnosed with

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depression and two other disorders.

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And it made me feel like, I couldn't get

out of it, and I felt like, this is life,

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this is like how it's gonna be forever.

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So if I were to look back at

myself, I would really want to

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tell myself, it gets better, just

keep holding on, just keep going.

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Because within a little bit of time,

things are going to get better.

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Way better than you've imagined.

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Amanda Paolicelli: I feel that 100, 000%.

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I was talking to one of my friends

about this the other day and we were

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just like reflecting on life and how

different it is now than it was like

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a couple months ago and we're like wow

like we would have never imagined our

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lives to take the turn as it is like

if you would have told me on October

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10th, 2022, that I would be starting a

whole movement to empower others because

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of a letter and a box, I would have

never believed you, you know, yeah.

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So for you, what was that turning point

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?

Alison Renee: It was in fact a breakup as well.

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When I was 13 years old, this

whole evolving stuff happened

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when I was 13 years old.

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I had not the best breakup, you know,

your first love when you're young.

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And that's when I fell into a depression.

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Eventually like a year or

two later I started to heal.

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I was first off sick of the

reality I was creating for myself.

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Like that was causing me to fall

into a fall into a depression.

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And then my habits were deteriorating

and I was just like it was an

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endless cycle and it was all a

matter of I'm sick of this reality.

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So then I just remember like waking

up one day and saying I need to

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pull myself under this no matter how

hard it is so then I went on this

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whole like journey and everything

about mental health and psychology.

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I was like saying to my mom and

I was like, Mom, like, I don't

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know what I want to do in college.

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Like, this was another day and

she's like, no, you seem like you're

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really in psychology and stuff.

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I'm like, Hmm.

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So then I searched up, uh, college degrees

and then I made that my whole life.

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And I'm like, you know what?

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Everything mental health, like I've

had various, not just the heartbreak,

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but various mental health experiences.

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So I was like, this is my life

and I just pushed through and now

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I want to give other people hope.

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Thats how it basically happened.

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It was just a journey, and

I'm still on that journey.

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Amanda Paolicelli: I can relate, and

that's one of the points that I believe

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really attracted me to your platform,

is that I could kind of see a little

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bit of my healing journey with yours.

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For me personally I had that same

moment of being like I need and

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want to change my life because I

was letting My ex's words and how he

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treated me and ended our relationship

dictate and define my narrative.

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And I was like, I am so sick of this.

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Like, I can't do it.

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Sometimes it's so hard to

conceptualize that exact moment.

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Like, what was it within us that

made us be like, we need it.

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We need to not, we need to keep going.

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We need to move forward, and so I

wanted to go back to you studying

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psychology right now in college,

and all the techniques that you

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bring up on your social media.

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Alison Renee: I think it's

important to explain the why,

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like why am I doing all of this.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes, definitely.

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Alison Renee: During my freshman year of

college, I one day I was just chilling.

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Just randomly, like, just chilling.

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And then I started to

feel short of breath.

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I started to shake.

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I started to slur my words.

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And everything started to get blurry.

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I'm like, what is happening to me?

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I thought I was dying.

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I thought it was a stroke or something.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yeah, that's scary.

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Alison Renee: So I called 9 1 1

because, oh my mom was there with me,

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if I called 9 1 1 I'm like, I don't

know what's going on, so then they

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came, and he took my blood pressure

and everything, he's like, um,Alison?

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Nothing is wrong with you physically.

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I am very convinced.

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I'm not a doctor, but I'm

convinced that this is anxiety.

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It was like, you just

experienced a panic attack.

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So that night I sat on the edge of my

bed and I'm like, I thought I was dying.

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These were manifesting physiological

symptoms that are very closely

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related to some chronic illness.

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And I'm like, I thought I was like dying.

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I thought something's wrong with my heart.

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And I survived that.

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And I said, okay.

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I have a lot of emotional

baggage and it probably caused

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my first panic attack ever.

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I was still, you know, coming out of it

anxious and everything, but I had some

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gratitude and I'm like, I survived this.

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I want to help people.

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I, I want, like, I'm actually taking

this mental health stuff seriously.

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So that's what really got me so

focused on this and now I make my

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common anxiety symptoms videos to

show how close they are related.

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So, I share with my followers

and my people some techniques

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and one of them is like.

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They all, they all don't, I make

so many videos about it and they

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don't get sick of me making it.

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I'm so glad about the butterfly hug.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Oh, I

love the butterfly hug.

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I just used that actually

the other day, by the way.

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I forgot to text you.

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Yeah, I was experiencing

like overwhelming anxiety.

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And I was like, wait, Alison

told me about the butterfly hug.

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I need to do it.

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So I did it and it helped me so much.

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Alison Renee: I'm so glad to hear it help.

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And I'm acting like it's, it's

not mine, like, I've just learned

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this along the way, like, um,

and I've just carried it with me.

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But yeah, so, like, for anyone watching,

if you're interested, if you're, like,

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in a panic attack or something, or even

just feeling anxiety, and it's even

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for stress, if you're just there, like,

overwhelming stress to help calm you

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down and regulate your nervous system,

you interlock your thumbs like this,

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and you just put your slightly above

your chest and do light flutters and

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you can pair it with like a breathing

technique if you want or just focus on

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your breath and you're just, you know,

in a matter of time, you're more calmed.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Another thing I

wanted to bring up, how have you

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seen the conversations around mental

health evolve with your community?

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Alison Renee: Going back

to having an audience and

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portraying some sort of image.

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Really, people are looking for

someone that is vulnerable.

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I noticed my spike when I was

starting to be more vulnerable.

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And then the conversation about mental

health just started inclining and I

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noticed other people were starting to feel

more comfortable with being themselves

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and that just motivated me even more

and I just think it's very important

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to be vulnerable and to be open and

say how you're feeling, especially if

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you are a role model to other people

it will teach them that it's okay.

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So then they start, you know, and

then I get DMs and I get emails and

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all this stuff with people saying

like, thank you for being yourself.

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Like, thank you for showing

that, like, I'm not alone.

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And they start opening up and I'm just

like, like I value that so, so much.

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Amanda Paolicelli: My friends had

mentioned that the other day, for me

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personally, with that vulnerability

and being just authentic to who I am,

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they can see the switch in content.

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When I first started social media to

talk about Dare to be Iconic and bring

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that message out there, I was trying

to do what everyone else was doing.

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You know?

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Like, I was like, oh, this is what hits.

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Like, this is what I need to post.

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And I wasn't being fully authentic to me.

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So I think in the beginning of 2024 is

where really when I said, Screw this.

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Like I'm just, yeah, I'm just

going to do what I want to see,

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like what I want to talk about

and how I want to talk about it.

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Like I want it to literally be like,

I'm talking to one of my girlfriends.

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And that's when I saw the shift in

conversation for me on my two main

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platforms, like Instagram and LinkedIn, is

when people really gravitated towards it.

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Cause I wasn't being anyone else.

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I was embracing who I was.

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Alison Renee: Exactly, I can relate so

much to that and actually starting August

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2022, I, that's when I started taking

my content creation seriously and I was

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like still new and there was a specific

individual that I actually, like, I just

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thought like, that was the way to success.

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That was, so if you look at my

older videos, I was a completely

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different version of myself.

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I was, I was posting what I wanted to

post, but like my attitude and behaviors,

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the way I took up space on the camera

was just so much related to theirs.

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And I just felt like if I followed

their way to, to, you know,

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to influencing others, then.

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It will work for me, but we're,

we're individuals and we all

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have our different journey.

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Like, I, then I started to feel like a

robot because then I had like no free will

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and I was just like letting their, their

strategies inform, yeah, inform my videos.

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So that's evolving as well.

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Like I've evolved from that person all the

way to being more authentic and being more

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myself and knowing who that person is.

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Amanda Paolicelli: I think it's really

crazy sometimes you want to fit into

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the mold and do what everyone else

is doing because we see like instant

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gratification, instant success.

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Is that something you

struggle with as well?

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Because I know I for sure like have like

I know when a video wouldn't perform Well,

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and I put like my heart and soul into it.

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I would get so down on myself and now

I've kind of got into the place where

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I can have that emotional separation

of being like the video is the product.

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It's not a reflection of me and who I am.

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Do you also see that with the comparison

that's going on of other influencers

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who maybe just started and they're

like Going to all these big events.

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: 00:16:29

Do you feel that as well?

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Does that impact your mental health

because I know it's impacted mine.

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: 00:16:35

Alison Renee: I still compare

myself on daily to a lot of people

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that are doing what I want to do.

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: 00:16:43

And to see that some people have started

the game so early and they are succeeding.

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: 00:16:49

It kind of like takes a hit to

my self esteem a little bit, but

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I'm also so happy because I see

that if someone else can do it.

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Anyone else can do it.

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: 00:16:57

And, like, we're more connected

than separate, and I just think

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it's really cool that we all have

the opportunity to have a platform

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and, like, connect, and I just try

to be optimistic about it, for sure.

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I just try to remind myself, yeah, like,

I'm here to enjoy what I'm doing, and not

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: 00:17:17

really compare and like, take it hard.

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: 00:17:20

Amanda Paolicelli: For the radiant

icons who are listening to this

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right now, what is one piece

of advice you would give them?

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Alison Renee: It's okay to ask for help.

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It's okay to talk to somebody.

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: 00:17:31

So many people are here to help you.

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: 00:17:33

And so many people are, having similar

experiences as you, and you can look

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: 00:17:38

at that as a bad thing, like, Oh,

everybody else, or a good thing to know

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: 00:17:44

that everybody has their, you know,

unique stories, but also you're not

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: 00:17:49

alone at the same time simultaneously.

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: 00:17:50

So nothing wrong with asking for help.

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: 00:17:53

Wherever you are in your journey,

Amanda and I are both here.

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: 00:17:56

Like, we love you and

thank you for watching.

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: 00:17:59

Amanda Paolicelli: I am so glad that I

sent you that DM on Instagram because I am

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so proud of you and seeing your journey.

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: 00:18:06

And I'm so happy that we've been

able to evolve and embrace who we are

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: 00:18:11

together, so I'm just really thankful.

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: 00:18:13

So thank you so much.

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: 00:18:13

Alison Renee: I'm so glad.

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: 00:18:14

Thank you so much for having me.

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Look at you from a box from

many years ago to this.

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: 00:18:20

Like you're just growing and I

love seeing your journey as well.

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: 00:18:23

So thank you.

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: 00:18:24

I'm so glad we're able to grow together.

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: 00:18:25

Amanda Paolicelli: Yes.

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Oh, we're evolving together, period.

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Alison Renee: Iconically evolving.

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: 00:18:31

Amanda Paolicelli: And that is our tea

time sesh for today, Radiant Icons.

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: 00:18:34

Thank you so much, Alison,

for spilling all the tea with

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: 00:18:37

us here at Dare to be Iconic.

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: 00:18:39

If you liked today's episode, Radiant

Icons, I dare you to subscribe, leave us

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: 00:18:44

a review, and follow me on social media.

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: 00:18:47

All my socials are linked in the show

notes below and connect with Alison.

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: 00:18:51

You can find her information

linked below as well.

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: 00:18:54

So we can have a beautiful,

evolving, iconic community.

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: 00:18:59

All right, radiant icons.

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: 00:19:01

Remember, dare to be iconic and

I will see you guys next week.

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: 00:19:05

Bye.