The Beauty of Healing and Evolving with Alison Renée
Happy Mental Health Awareness Month, radiant icons!
In this episode of 'Dare to be Iconic,' Amanda is joined by mental health and self-growth influencer, Alison Renee, aka evolvinalison. They spill the tea on mental health, healing, and overcoming comparison. In this week's tea time Amanda and Alison discuss their personal journeys towards self-discovery and the importance of quality relationships over quantity, emphasizing the power of authenticity in filtering out those who don't align with one's true self. The conversation also touches on maintaining emotional vulnerability and self-care on social media, the challenges of setting boundaries, and the continuous process of evolving and embracing one's journey. Additionally, they share practical tips for managing anxiety and the significance of vulnerability in building community and fostering open conversations about mental health.
Grab your copy of "Break Up With The Past, Fall In Love With The Future" journal here!
00:00 Welcome to Dare to be Iconic: A Mental Health Tea Time Sesh
00:40 Everyday Icon #3: Alison Renee
01:13 Defining Iconic: Breaking Free from the Mold
01:52 The Power of Authenticity and Quality Connections
03:55 Embracing Vulnerability and Setting Boundaries Online
06:57 Healing Journeys: Reflecting on Past Struggles and Growth
10:12 The Role of Psychology and Self-Care in Mental Health Advocacy
12:48 Evolving Conversations: The Impact of Vulnerability in Building Community
17:20 Advice for the Radiant Icon Community: Embracing Help and Community
17:59 Gratitude and Growth: Closing Thoughts on an Iconic Evolution
Transcript
What is up, radiant icons, and welcome back to
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:Dare to be Iconic, the podcast made
for icons daring to be themselves.
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:I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli and for
today's tea time sesh, we are joined by
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:one of my really good friends, mental
health and self growth influencer,
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:Alison Renee, also known on socials as
Evolving Alison, and we are spilling
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:the tea about mental health, healing,
comparison and all that good stuff, but
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:before we get into that, I dare you to
follow me on Instagram and connect with
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:me on LinkedIn and that information
can be found in the show notes below.
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:All right, Radiant icons, your
tea time sesh is starting now.
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:Let's welcome our third everyday
icon who is daring to be herself
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:in her everyday life by using her
platform to start discussions about
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:mental health and self growth.
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:A little background, Radiant Icons, if
you don't know, Alison and I did a collab
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:on Instagram and we met on this site
called Busy Blooming for entrepreneurs.
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:We've never met each other before and we
just message each other on social media.
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:So we're like, let's do it.
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:I'm so excited that you're here.
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:And I have two questions before
we spill the tea about healing.
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:Alison Renee: Yeah.
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:Let's do this.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: What
does iconic mean to you?
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:And how do you dare to be
iconic in your everyday life?
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:Alison Renee: Being iconic, like I
love your saying there because it's not
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:like there are certain like rules and
it's kind of like a personal authentic
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:journey and you can interpret being
iconic however you want and personally
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:for me, it's just Not caring about
people's opinions and being authentic
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:because like for so long I've tried to
mold into the people I was around to make
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:sure that like I'm accepted and like But
being iconic is like breaking past that.
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:It's like no more.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Yes.
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:It's like no more.
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:It's like being proud of yourself.
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:Alison Renee: Yes, and like being who you
are and like being yourself is so powerful
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:because then it filters out All the people
that aren't meant to be there anyway.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Yes,
exactly, allison, yes!
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:Alison Renee: Yeah, like,
quality over quantity.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: If I could
put that on a t shirt, I would.
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:Like, that is a lesson.
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:Alison Renee: Quality over quantity?
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Yes, that is a
lesson that I've had to learn the
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:hard way because I think throughout
my life, I relate so much on the,
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:I wanted to fit in and mold into
what everyone else wanted me to be.
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:And it took me until last year, 24,
to realize, no, I need to be who I
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:am, but I didn't ,,know who I was.
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:So I had to go on that journey.
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:And that really weeded through the
people who were meant to be in my life.
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:Alison Renee: I can definitely
relate because I used to think, the
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:more people I have, the more worthy
I am, and, the more liked I am.
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:But then we perceive filtering
out the wrong people and only
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:having a close circle a bad thing.
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:We used to think, but it's really
draining, like, if you're just
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:attending everyone's opinions and
being the caregiver person like that.
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:That's personally for me.
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:I just felt like I was
Abandoning myself the whole time.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: So, how do
you take that into daring to be
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:iconic in your everyday life with
your platform Evolving Allison?
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:Alison Renee: That's a very good
question because you happen to be in
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:front of an audience on social media.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Yeah, exactly.
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:Alison Renee: So many opinions.
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:Like, it is crazy.
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:So, daring to be iconic in that way is
not caring about those comments, not
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:caring about even the people around you.
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:Like, your friends and family,
Oh, she's recording on camera.
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:Like, who does she think she is?
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:It's daring to be iconic and I have
a message to say to my followers
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:through my platforms and it's focusing
on that and not the outside voices.
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:Just, I'm here for a purpose.
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:I'm showing up for a purpose.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Yes, because you
know in your heart it was there for
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:a reason so why not take that risk
on yourself and keep building that
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:community and using your voice.
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:So, how do you remain emotionally
vulnerable online by also
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:taking care of yourself?
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:Alison Renee: You know, when people
have a platform and they have people
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:that look up to them, you kind of.
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:Put on your best behavior by default.
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:You, you want to show that everything's
okay because you're there to take
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:care of others and other people
on the other side of the screen.
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:Sometimes people forget we are people
as well with emotions and we behind the
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:scenes like we could whip out the camera
and like be the happiest person, but be
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:dealing with something behind the scenes.
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:And it's just really about
finding that balance.
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:It's not like we want to hide it,
but I think it's more important to
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:actually show that that is our life too.
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:Like we have emotions as well.
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:That's why I'm not afraid
to cry on social media.
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:That's why I'm not afraid
to like express anger.
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:I don't have to be some like
positive person all the time
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:and that in itself is self care.
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:It is admitting that I am allowed
to feel sad in front of an
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:audience and that is like helping
connect people at the same time.
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:So, I think that's just
really self care in itself.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Do you think
it also goes into boundaries?
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:Like I suck at boundaries.
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:That is a continuous learning process
for me, especially with dare to be
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:iconic, like I spill all the tea about
my life, but I'm kind of decidingwhat
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:are some things that I can share now and
what are some things that I save for
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:when further removed from the situation.
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:So do you think within that self care and
self love that you mentioned boundaries
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:are a big part of it, and do you
struggle with figuring that out as well?
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:Alison Renee: I definitely struggle
with boundaries too, and I know it,
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:it is difficult on our journey because
there's also that people pleasing
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:part, and we don't want to, like, upset
anyone, and it's also the nature of,
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:like, not knowing how to set those
boundaries or what boundaries to set.
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:I personally, struggle with that too.
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:And communicating my needs, because,
like, you and I, I know, like, we've came
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:such a long way, but it doesn't mean that
we're perfect, like, our old self is gonna
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:come back still, and that younger, like,
heartbroken self is still gonna come, and,
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:like, wanting to be loved, so, like, we're
gonna, like, you know, minimize ourselves
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:sometimes, and, it's all about that jump
of realizing that, like, We are still
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:worth it, even if we set those boundaries.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Yes.
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:Oh, you hit that on the nose so good.
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:I don't know if you know this, Alison,
I call my birthday National Amanda Day.
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:Like, I make it-
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:Alison Renee: Good, as you should.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Thank you, thank
you, I don't know if my parents agree.
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:I think they're kind of over it by now.
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:But like, it's okay.
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:But, anywho, I make my
birthday a big deal.
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:But, one thing I've realized
within the last two birthdays, I
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:would say, is that a part of me
will always be the Amanda at 16.
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:The part of me will always be the Amanda
that got broken up with a letter in a box.
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:There will always be a part of
me, no matter how much I continue
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:growing and evolving, and I love how
you put that in perspective for us.
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:So what have you realized on your
healing journey that you're like,
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:huh, if I can tell my younger
self this, what would it be?
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:Alison Renee: I would definitely tell
myself that in this situation that you're
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:in right now, it's not going to last.
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:And when I'm looking back at this specific
person that I was, I was diagnosed with
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:depression and two other disorders.
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:And it made me feel like, I couldn't get
out of it, and I felt like, this is life,
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:this is like how it's gonna be forever.
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:So if I were to look back at
myself, I would really want to
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:tell myself, it gets better, just
keep holding on, just keep going.
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:Because within a little bit of time,
things are going to get better.
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:Way better than you've imagined.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: I feel that 100, 000%.
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:I was talking to one of my friends
about this the other day and we were
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:just like reflecting on life and how
different it is now than it was like
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:a couple months ago and we're like wow
like we would have never imagined our
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:lives to take the turn as it is like
if you would have told me on October
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:10th, 2022, that I would be starting a
whole movement to empower others because
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:of a letter and a box, I would have
never believed you, you know, yeah.
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:So for you, what was that turning point
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:?
Alison Renee: It was in fact a breakup as well.
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:When I was 13 years old, this
whole evolving stuff happened
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:when I was 13 years old.
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:I had not the best breakup, you know,
your first love when you're young.
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:And that's when I fell into a depression.
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:Eventually like a year or
two later I started to heal.
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:I was first off sick of the
reality I was creating for myself.
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:Like that was causing me to fall
into a fall into a depression.
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:And then my habits were deteriorating
and I was just like it was an
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:endless cycle and it was all a
matter of I'm sick of this reality.
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:So then I just remember like waking
up one day and saying I need to
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:pull myself under this no matter how
hard it is so then I went on this
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:whole like journey and everything
about mental health and psychology.
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:I was like saying to my mom and
I was like, Mom, like, I don't
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:know what I want to do in college.
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:Like, this was another day and
she's like, no, you seem like you're
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:really in psychology and stuff.
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:I'm like, Hmm.
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:So then I searched up, uh, college degrees
and then I made that my whole life.
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:And I'm like, you know what?
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:Everything mental health, like I've
had various, not just the heartbreak,
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:but various mental health experiences.
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:So I was like, this is my life
and I just pushed through and now
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:I want to give other people hope.
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:Thats how it basically happened.
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:It was just a journey, and
I'm still on that journey.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: I can relate, and
that's one of the points that I believe
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:really attracted me to your platform,
is that I could kind of see a little
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:bit of my healing journey with yours.
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:For me personally I had that same
moment of being like I need and
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:want to change my life because I
was letting My ex's words and how he
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:treated me and ended our relationship
dictate and define my narrative.
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:And I was like, I am so sick of this.
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:Like, I can't do it.
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:Sometimes it's so hard to
conceptualize that exact moment.
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:Like, what was it within us that
made us be like, we need it.
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:We need to not, we need to keep going.
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:We need to move forward, and so I
wanted to go back to you studying
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:psychology right now in college,
and all the techniques that you
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:bring up on your social media.
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:Alison Renee: I think it's
important to explain the why,
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:like why am I doing all of this.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Yes, definitely.
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:Alison Renee: During my freshman year of
college, I one day I was just chilling.
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:Just randomly, like, just chilling.
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:And then I started to
feel short of breath.
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:I started to shake.
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:I started to slur my words.
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:And everything started to get blurry.
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:I'm like, what is happening to me?
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:I thought I was dying.
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:I thought it was a stroke or something.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Yeah, that's scary.
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:Alison Renee: So I called 9 1 1
because, oh my mom was there with me,
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:if I called 9 1 1 I'm like, I don't
know what's going on, so then they
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:came, and he took my blood pressure
and everything, he's like, um,Alison?
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:Nothing is wrong with you physically.
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:I am very convinced.
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:I'm not a doctor, but I'm
convinced that this is anxiety.
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:It was like, you just
experienced a panic attack.
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:So that night I sat on the edge of my
bed and I'm like, I thought I was dying.
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:These were manifesting physiological
symptoms that are very closely
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:related to some chronic illness.
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:And I'm like, I thought I was like dying.
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:I thought something's wrong with my heart.
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:And I survived that.
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:And I said, okay.
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:I have a lot of emotional
baggage and it probably caused
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:my first panic attack ever.
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:I was still, you know, coming out of it
anxious and everything, but I had some
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:gratitude and I'm like, I survived this.
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:I want to help people.
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:I, I want, like, I'm actually taking
this mental health stuff seriously.
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:So that's what really got me so
focused on this and now I make my
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:common anxiety symptoms videos to
show how close they are related.
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:So, I share with my followers
and my people some techniques
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:and one of them is like.
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:They all, they all don't, I make
so many videos about it and they
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:don't get sick of me making it.
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:I'm so glad about the butterfly hug.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Oh, I
love the butterfly hug.
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:I just used that actually
the other day, by the way.
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:I forgot to text you.
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:Yeah, I was experiencing
like overwhelming anxiety.
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:And I was like, wait, Alison
told me about the butterfly hug.
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:I need to do it.
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:So I did it and it helped me so much.
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:Alison Renee: I'm so glad to hear it help.
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:And I'm acting like it's, it's
not mine, like, I've just learned
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:this along the way, like, um,
and I've just carried it with me.
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:But yeah, so, like, for anyone watching,
if you're interested, if you're, like,
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:in a panic attack or something, or even
just feeling anxiety, and it's even
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:for stress, if you're just there, like,
overwhelming stress to help calm you
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:down and regulate your nervous system,
you interlock your thumbs like this,
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:and you just put your slightly above
your chest and do light flutters and
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:you can pair it with like a breathing
technique if you want or just focus on
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:your breath and you're just, you know,
in a matter of time, you're more calmed.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Another thing I
wanted to bring up, how have you
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:seen the conversations around mental
health evolve with your community?
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:Alison Renee: Going back
to having an audience and
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:portraying some sort of image.
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:Really, people are looking for
someone that is vulnerable.
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:I noticed my spike when I was
starting to be more vulnerable.
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:And then the conversation about mental
health just started inclining and I
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:noticed other people were starting to feel
more comfortable with being themselves
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:and that just motivated me even more
and I just think it's very important
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:to be vulnerable and to be open and
say how you're feeling, especially if
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:you are a role model to other people
it will teach them that it's okay.
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:So then they start, you know, and
then I get DMs and I get emails and
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:all this stuff with people saying
like, thank you for being yourself.
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:Like, thank you for showing
that, like, I'm not alone.
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:And they start opening up and I'm just
like, like I value that so, so much.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: My friends had
mentioned that the other day, for me
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:personally, with that vulnerability
and being just authentic to who I am,
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:they can see the switch in content.
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:When I first started social media to
talk about Dare to be Iconic and bring
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:that message out there, I was trying
to do what everyone else was doing.
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:You know?
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:Like, I was like, oh, this is what hits.
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:Like, this is what I need to post.
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:And I wasn't being fully authentic to me.
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:So I think in the beginning of 2024 is
where really when I said, Screw this.
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:Like I'm just, yeah, I'm just
going to do what I want to see,
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:like what I want to talk about
and how I want to talk about it.
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:Like I want it to literally be like,
I'm talking to one of my girlfriends.
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:And that's when I saw the shift in
conversation for me on my two main
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:platforms, like Instagram and LinkedIn, is
when people really gravitated towards it.
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:Cause I wasn't being anyone else.
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:I was embracing who I was.
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:Alison Renee: Exactly, I can relate so
much to that and actually starting August
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:2022, I, that's when I started taking
my content creation seriously and I was
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:like still new and there was a specific
individual that I actually, like, I just
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:thought like, that was the way to success.
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:That was, so if you look at my
older videos, I was a completely
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:different version of myself.
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:I was, I was posting what I wanted to
post, but like my attitude and behaviors,
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:the way I took up space on the camera
was just so much related to theirs.
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:And I just felt like if I followed
their way to, to, you know,
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:to influencing others, then.
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:It will work for me, but we're,
we're individuals and we all
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:have our different journey.
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:Like, I, then I started to feel like a
robot because then I had like no free will
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:and I was just like letting their, their
strategies inform, yeah, inform my videos.
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:So that's evolving as well.
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:Like I've evolved from that person all the
way to being more authentic and being more
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:myself and knowing who that person is.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: I think it's really
crazy sometimes you want to fit into
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:the mold and do what everyone else
is doing because we see like instant
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:gratification, instant success.
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:Is that something you
struggle with as well?
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:Because I know I for sure like have like
I know when a video wouldn't perform Well,
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:and I put like my heart and soul into it.
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:I would get so down on myself and now
I've kind of got into the place where
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:I can have that emotional separation
of being like the video is the product.
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:It's not a reflection of me and who I am.
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:Do you also see that with the comparison
that's going on of other influencers
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:who maybe just started and they're
like Going to all these big events.
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:Do you feel that as well?
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:Does that impact your mental health
because I know it's impacted mine.
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:Alison Renee: I still compare
myself on daily to a lot of people
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:that are doing what I want to do.
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:And to see that some people have started
the game so early and they are succeeding.
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:It kind of like takes a hit to
my self esteem a little bit, but
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:I'm also so happy because I see
that if someone else can do it.
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:Anyone else can do it.
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:And, like, we're more connected
than separate, and I just think
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:it's really cool that we all have
the opportunity to have a platform
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:and, like, connect, and I just try
to be optimistic about it, for sure.
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:I just try to remind myself, yeah, like,
I'm here to enjoy what I'm doing, and not
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:really compare and like, take it hard.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: For the radiant
icons who are listening to this
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:right now, what is one piece
of advice you would give them?
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:Alison Renee: It's okay to ask for help.
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:It's okay to talk to somebody.
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:So many people are here to help you.
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:And so many people are, having similar
experiences as you, and you can look
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:at that as a bad thing, like, Oh,
everybody else, or a good thing to know
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:that everybody has their, you know,
unique stories, but also you're not
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:alone at the same time simultaneously.
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:So nothing wrong with asking for help.
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:Wherever you are in your journey,
Amanda and I are both here.
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:Like, we love you and
thank you for watching.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: I am so glad that I
sent you that DM on Instagram because I am
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:so proud of you and seeing your journey.
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:And I'm so happy that we've been
able to evolve and embrace who we are
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:together, so I'm just really thankful.
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:So thank you so much.
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:Alison Renee: I'm so glad.
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:Thank you so much for having me.
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:Look at you from a box from
many years ago to this.
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:Like you're just growing and I
love seeing your journey as well.
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:So thank you.
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:I'm so glad we're able to grow together.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: Yes.
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:Oh, we're evolving together, period.
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:Alison Renee: Iconically evolving.
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:Amanda Paolicelli: And that is our tea
time sesh for today, Radiant Icons.
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:Thank you so much, Alison,
for spilling all the tea with
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:us here at Dare to be Iconic.
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:If you liked today's episode, Radiant
Icons, I dare you to subscribe, leave us
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:a review, and follow me on social media.
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:All my socials are linked in the show
notes below and connect with Alison.
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:You can find her information
linked below as well.
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:So we can have a beautiful,
evolving, iconic community.
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:All right, radiant icons.
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:Remember, dare to be iconic and
I will see you guys next week.
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:Bye.