Episode 9

full
Published on:

8th May 2024

The Beauty of Healing and Evolving with Alison Renée

Happy Mental Health Awareness Month, radiant icons!

In this episode of 'Dare to be Iconic,' Amanda is joined by mental health and self-growth influencer, Alison Renee, aka evolvinalison. They spill the tea on mental health, healing, and overcoming comparison. In this week's tea time Amanda and Alison discuss their personal journeys towards self-discovery and the importance of quality relationships over quantity, emphasizing the power of authenticity in filtering out those who don't align with one's true self. The conversation also touches on maintaining emotional vulnerability and self-care on social media, the challenges of setting boundaries, and the continuous process of evolving and embracing one's journey. Additionally, they share practical tips for managing anxiety and the significance of vulnerability in building community and fostering open conversations about mental health.

Alison's Instagram

Alison's Tik Tok

Alison's Youtube

Connect with Amanda!

Grab your copy of "Break Up With The Past, Fall In Love With The Future" journal here!

00:00 Welcome to Dare to be Iconic: A Mental Health Tea Time Sesh

00:40 Everyday Icon #3: Alison Renee

01:13 Defining Iconic: Breaking Free from the Mold

01:52 The Power of Authenticity and Quality Connections

03:55 Embracing Vulnerability and Setting Boundaries Online

06:57 Healing Journeys: Reflecting on Past Struggles and Growth

10:12 The Role of Psychology and Self-Care in Mental Health Advocacy

12:48 Evolving Conversations: The Impact of Vulnerability in Building Community

17:20 Advice for the Radiant Icon Community: Embracing Help and Community

17:59 Gratitude and Growth: Closing Thoughts on an Iconic Evolution

Transcript
Amanda Paolicelli:

What is up, radiant icons, and welcome back to

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Dare to be Iconic, the podcast made

for icons daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli and for

today's tea time sesh, we are joined by

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one of my really good friends, mental

health and self growth influencer,

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Alison Renee, also known on socials as

Evolving Alison, and we are spilling

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the tea about mental health, healing,

comparison and all that good stuff, but

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before we get into that, I dare you to

follow me on Instagram and connect with

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me on LinkedIn and that information

can be found in the show notes below.

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All right, Radiant icons, your

tea time sesh is starting now.

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Let's welcome our third everyday

icon who is daring to be herself

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in her everyday life by using her

platform to start discussions about

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mental health and self growth.

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A little background, Radiant Icons, if

you don't know, Alison and I did a collab

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on Instagram and we met on this site

called Busy Blooming for entrepreneurs.

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We've never met each other before and we

just message each other on social media.

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So we're like, let's do it.

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I'm so excited that you're here.

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And I have two questions before

we spill the tea about healing.

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Alison Renee: Yeah.

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Let's do this.

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Amanda Paolicelli: What

does iconic mean to you?

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And how do you dare to be

iconic in your everyday life?

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Alison Renee: Being iconic, like I

love your saying there because it's not

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like there are certain like rules and

it's kind of like a personal authentic

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journey and you can interpret being

iconic however you want and personally

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for me, it's just Not caring about

people's opinions and being authentic

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because like for so long I've tried to

mold into the people I was around to make

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sure that like I'm accepted and like But

being iconic is like breaking past that.

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It's like no more.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes.

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It's like no more.

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It's like being proud of yourself.

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Alison Renee: Yes, and like being who you

are and like being yourself is so powerful

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because then it filters out All the people

that aren't meant to be there anyway.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes,

exactly, allison, yes!

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Alison Renee: Yeah, like,

quality over quantity.

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Amanda Paolicelli: If I could

put that on a t shirt, I would.

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Like, that is a lesson.

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Alison Renee: Quality over quantity?

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes, that is a

lesson that I've had to learn the

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hard way because I think throughout

my life, I relate so much on the,

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I wanted to fit in and mold into

what everyone else wanted me to be.

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And it took me until last year, 24,

to realize, no, I need to be who I

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am, but I didn't ,,know who I was.

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So I had to go on that journey.

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And that really weeded through the

people who were meant to be in my life.

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Alison Renee: I can definitely

relate because I used to think, the

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more people I have, the more worthy

I am, and, the more liked I am.

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But then we perceive filtering

out the wrong people and only

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having a close circle a bad thing.

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We used to think, but it's really

draining, like, if you're just

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attending everyone's opinions and

being the caregiver person like that.

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That's personally for me.

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I just felt like I was

Abandoning myself the whole time.

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Amanda Paolicelli: So, how do

you take that into daring to be

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iconic in your everyday life with

your platform Evolving Allison?

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Alison Renee: That's a very good

question because you happen to be in

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front of an audience on social media.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yeah, exactly.

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Alison Renee: So many opinions.

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Like, it is crazy.

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So, daring to be iconic in that way is

not caring about those comments, not

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caring about even the people around you.

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Like, your friends and family,

Oh, she's recording on camera.

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Like, who does she think she is?

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It's daring to be iconic and I have

a message to say to my followers

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through my platforms and it's focusing

on that and not the outside voices.

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Just, I'm here for a purpose.

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I'm showing up for a purpose.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes, because you

know in your heart it was there for

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a reason so why not take that risk

on yourself and keep building that

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community and using your voice.

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So, how do you remain emotionally

vulnerable online by also

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taking care of yourself?

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Alison Renee: You know, when people

have a platform and they have people

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that look up to them, you kind of.

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Put on your best behavior by default.

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You, you want to show that everything's

okay because you're there to take

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care of others and other people

on the other side of the screen.

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Sometimes people forget we are people

as well with emotions and we behind the

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scenes like we could whip out the camera

and like be the happiest person, but be

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dealing with something behind the scenes.

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And it's just really about

finding that balance.

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It's not like we want to hide it,

but I think it's more important to

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actually show that that is our life too.

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Like we have emotions as well.

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That's why I'm not afraid

to cry on social media.

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That's why I'm not afraid

to like express anger.

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I don't have to be some like

positive person all the time

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and that in itself is self care.

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It is admitting that I am allowed

to feel sad in front of an

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audience and that is like helping

connect people at the same time.

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So, I think that's just

really self care in itself.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Do you think

it also goes into boundaries?

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Like I suck at boundaries.

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That is a continuous learning process

for me, especially with dare to be

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iconic, like I spill all the tea about

my life, but I'm kind of decidingwhat

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are some things that I can share now and

what are some things that I save for

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when further removed from the situation.

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So do you think within that self care and

self love that you mentioned boundaries

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are a big part of it, and do you

struggle with figuring that out as well?

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Alison Renee: I definitely struggle

with boundaries too, and I know it,

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it is difficult on our journey because

there's also that people pleasing

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part, and we don't want to, like, upset

anyone, and it's also the nature of,

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like, not knowing how to set those

boundaries or what boundaries to set.

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I personally, struggle with that too.

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And communicating my needs, because,

like, you and I, I know, like, we've came

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such a long way, but it doesn't mean that

we're perfect, like, our old self is gonna

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come back still, and that younger, like,

heartbroken self is still gonna come, and,

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like, wanting to be loved, so, like, we're

gonna, like, you know, minimize ourselves

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sometimes, and, it's all about that jump

of realizing that, like, We are still

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worth it, even if we set those boundaries.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes.

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Oh, you hit that on the nose so good.

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I don't know if you know this, Alison,

I call my birthday National Amanda Day.

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Like, I make it-

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Alison Renee: Good, as you should.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Thank you, thank

you, I don't know if my parents agree.

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I think they're kind of over it by now.

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But like, it's okay.

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But, anywho, I make my

birthday a big deal.

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But, one thing I've realized

within the last two birthdays, I

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would say, is that a part of me

will always be the Amanda at 16.

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The part of me will always be the Amanda

that got broken up with a letter in a box.

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There will always be a part of

me, no matter how much I continue

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growing and evolving, and I love how

you put that in perspective for us.

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So what have you realized on your

healing journey that you're like,

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huh, if I can tell my younger

self this, what would it be?

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Alison Renee: I would definitely tell

myself that in this situation that you're

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in right now, it's not going to last.

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And when I'm looking back at this specific

person that I was, I was diagnosed with

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depression and two other disorders.

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And it made me feel like, I couldn't get

out of it, and I felt like, this is life,

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this is like how it's gonna be forever.

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So if I were to look back at

myself, I would really want to

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tell myself, it gets better, just

keep holding on, just keep going.

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Because within a little bit of time,

things are going to get better.

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Way better than you've imagined.

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Amanda Paolicelli: I feel that 100, 000%.

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I was talking to one of my friends

about this the other day and we were

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just like reflecting on life and how

different it is now than it was like

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a couple months ago and we're like wow

like we would have never imagined our

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lives to take the turn as it is like

if you would have told me on October

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10th, 2022, that I would be starting a

whole movement to empower others because

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of a letter and a box, I would have

never believed you, you know, yeah.

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So for you, what was that turning point

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Alison Renee: It was in fact a breakup as well.

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When I was 13 years old, this

whole evolving stuff happened

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when I was 13 years old.

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I had not the best breakup, you know,

your first love when you're young.

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And that's when I fell into a depression.

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Eventually like a year or

two later I started to heal.

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I was first off sick of the

reality I was creating for myself.

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Like that was causing me to fall

into a fall into a depression.

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And then my habits were deteriorating

and I was just like it was an

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endless cycle and it was all a

matter of I'm sick of this reality.

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So then I just remember like waking

up one day and saying I need to

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pull myself under this no matter how

hard it is so then I went on this

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whole like journey and everything

about mental health and psychology.

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I was like saying to my mom and

I was like, Mom, like, I don't

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know what I want to do in college.

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Like, this was another day and

she's like, no, you seem like you're

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really in psychology and stuff.

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I'm like, Hmm.

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So then I searched up, uh, college degrees

and then I made that my whole life.

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And I'm like, you know what?

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Everything mental health, like I've

had various, not just the heartbreak,

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but various mental health experiences.

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So I was like, this is my life

and I just pushed through and now

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I want to give other people hope.

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Thats how it basically happened.

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It was just a journey, and

I'm still on that journey.

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Amanda Paolicelli: I can relate, and

that's one of the points that I believe

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really attracted me to your platform,

is that I could kind of see a little

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bit of my healing journey with yours.

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For me personally I had that same

moment of being like I need and

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want to change my life because I

was letting My ex's words and how he

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treated me and ended our relationship

dictate and define my narrative.

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And I was like, I am so sick of this.

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Like, I can't do it.

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Sometimes it's so hard to

conceptualize that exact moment.

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Like, what was it within us that

made us be like, we need it.

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We need to not, we need to keep going.

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We need to move forward, and so I

wanted to go back to you studying

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psychology right now in college,

and all the techniques that you

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bring up on your social media.

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Alison Renee: I think it's

important to explain the why,

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like why am I doing all of this.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes, definitely.

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Alison Renee: During my freshman year of

college, I one day I was just chilling.

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Just randomly, like, just chilling.

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And then I started to

feel short of breath.

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I started to shake.

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I started to slur my words.

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And everything started to get blurry.

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I'm like, what is happening to me?

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I thought I was dying.

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I thought it was a stroke or something.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yeah, that's scary.

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Alison Renee: So I called 9 1 1

because, oh my mom was there with me,

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if I called 9 1 1 I'm like, I don't

know what's going on, so then they

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came, and he took my blood pressure

and everything, he's like, um,Alison?

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Nothing is wrong with you physically.

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I am very convinced.

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I'm not a doctor, but I'm

convinced that this is anxiety.

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It was like, you just

experienced a panic attack.

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So that night I sat on the edge of my

bed and I'm like, I thought I was dying.

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These were manifesting physiological

symptoms that are very closely

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related to some chronic illness.

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And I'm like, I thought I was like dying.

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I thought something's wrong with my heart.

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And I survived that.

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And I said, okay.

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I have a lot of emotional

baggage and it probably caused

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my first panic attack ever.

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I was still, you know, coming out of it

anxious and everything, but I had some

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gratitude and I'm like, I survived this.

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I want to help people.

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I, I want, like, I'm actually taking

this mental health stuff seriously.

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So that's what really got me so

focused on this and now I make my

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common anxiety symptoms videos to

show how close they are related.

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So, I share with my followers

and my people some techniques

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and one of them is like.

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They all, they all don't, I make

so many videos about it and they

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don't get sick of me making it.

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I'm so glad about the butterfly hug.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Oh, I

love the butterfly hug.

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I just used that actually

the other day, by the way.

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I forgot to text you.

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Yeah, I was experiencing

like overwhelming anxiety.

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And I was like, wait, Alison

told me about the butterfly hug.

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I need to do it.

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So I did it and it helped me so much.

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Alison Renee: I'm so glad to hear it help.

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And I'm acting like it's, it's

not mine, like, I've just learned

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this along the way, like, um,

and I've just carried it with me.

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But yeah, so, like, for anyone watching,

if you're interested, if you're, like,

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in a panic attack or something, or even

just feeling anxiety, and it's even

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for stress, if you're just there, like,

overwhelming stress to help calm you

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down and regulate your nervous system,

you interlock your thumbs like this,

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and you just put your slightly above

your chest and do light flutters and

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you can pair it with like a breathing

technique if you want or just focus on

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your breath and you're just, you know,

in a matter of time, you're more calmed.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Another thing I

wanted to bring up, how have you

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seen the conversations around mental

health evolve with your community?

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Alison Renee: Going back

to having an audience and

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portraying some sort of image.

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Really, people are looking for

someone that is vulnerable.

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I noticed my spike when I was

starting to be more vulnerable.

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And then the conversation about mental

health just started inclining and I

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noticed other people were starting to feel

more comfortable with being themselves

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and that just motivated me even more

and I just think it's very important

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to be vulnerable and to be open and

say how you're feeling, especially if

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you are a role model to other people

it will teach them that it's okay.

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So then they start, you know, and

then I get DMs and I get emails and

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all this stuff with people saying

like, thank you for being yourself.

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Like, thank you for showing

that, like, I'm not alone.

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And they start opening up and I'm just

like, like I value that so, so much.

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Amanda Paolicelli: My friends had

mentioned that the other day, for me

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personally, with that vulnerability

and being just authentic to who I am,

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they can see the switch in content.

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When I first started social media to

talk about Dare to be Iconic and bring

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that message out there, I was trying

to do what everyone else was doing.

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You know?

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Like, I was like, oh, this is what hits.

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Like, this is what I need to post.

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And I wasn't being fully authentic to me.

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So I think in the beginning of 2024 is

where really when I said, Screw this.

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Like I'm just, yeah, I'm just

going to do what I want to see,

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like what I want to talk about

and how I want to talk about it.

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Like I want it to literally be like,

I'm talking to one of my girlfriends.

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And that's when I saw the shift in

conversation for me on my two main

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platforms, like Instagram and LinkedIn, is

when people really gravitated towards it.

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Cause I wasn't being anyone else.

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I was embracing who I was.

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Alison Renee: Exactly, I can relate so

much to that and actually starting August

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2022, I, that's when I started taking

my content creation seriously and I was

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like still new and there was a specific

individual that I actually, like, I just

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thought like, that was the way to success.

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That was, so if you look at my

older videos, I was a completely

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different version of myself.

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I was, I was posting what I wanted to

post, but like my attitude and behaviors,

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the way I took up space on the camera

was just so much related to theirs.

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And I just felt like if I followed

their way to, to, you know,

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to influencing others, then.

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It will work for me, but we're,

we're individuals and we all

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have our different journey.

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Like, I, then I started to feel like a

robot because then I had like no free will

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and I was just like letting their, their

strategies inform, yeah, inform my videos.

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So that's evolving as well.

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Like I've evolved from that person all the

way to being more authentic and being more

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myself and knowing who that person is.

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Amanda Paolicelli: I think it's really

crazy sometimes you want to fit into

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the mold and do what everyone else

is doing because we see like instant

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gratification, instant success.

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Is that something you

struggle with as well?

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Because I know I for sure like have like

I know when a video wouldn't perform Well,

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and I put like my heart and soul into it.

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I would get so down on myself and now

I've kind of got into the place where

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I can have that emotional separation

of being like the video is the product.

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It's not a reflection of me and who I am.

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Do you also see that with the comparison

that's going on of other influencers

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who maybe just started and they're

like Going to all these big events.

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Do you feel that as well?

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Does that impact your mental health

because I know it's impacted mine.

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Alison Renee: I still compare

myself on daily to a lot of people

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that are doing what I want to do.

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And to see that some people have started

the game so early and they are succeeding.

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It kind of like takes a hit to

my self esteem a little bit, but

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I'm also so happy because I see

that if someone else can do it.

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Anyone else can do it.

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And, like, we're more connected

than separate, and I just think

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it's really cool that we all have

the opportunity to have a platform

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and, like, connect, and I just try

to be optimistic about it, for sure.

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I just try to remind myself, yeah, like,

I'm here to enjoy what I'm doing, and not

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really compare and like, take it hard.

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Amanda Paolicelli: For the radiant

icons who are listening to this

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right now, what is one piece

of advice you would give them?

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Alison Renee: It's okay to ask for help.

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It's okay to talk to somebody.

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So many people are here to help you.

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And so many people are, having similar

experiences as you, and you can look

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at that as a bad thing, like, Oh,

everybody else, or a good thing to know

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that everybody has their, you know,

unique stories, but also you're not

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alone at the same time simultaneously.

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So nothing wrong with asking for help.

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Wherever you are in your journey,

Amanda and I are both here.

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Like, we love you and

thank you for watching.

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Amanda Paolicelli: I am so glad that I

sent you that DM on Instagram because I am

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so proud of you and seeing your journey.

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And I'm so happy that we've been

able to evolve and embrace who we are

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together, so I'm just really thankful.

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So thank you so much.

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Alison Renee: I'm so glad.

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Thank you so much for having me.

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Look at you from a box from

many years ago to this.

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Like you're just growing and I

love seeing your journey as well.

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So thank you.

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I'm so glad we're able to grow together.

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Amanda Paolicelli: Yes.

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Oh, we're evolving together, period.

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Alison Renee: Iconically evolving.

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Amanda Paolicelli: And that is our tea

time sesh for today, Radiant Icons.

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Thank you so much, Alison,

for spilling all the tea with

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us here at Dare to be Iconic.

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If you liked today's episode, Radiant

Icons, I dare you to subscribe, leave us

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a review, and follow me on social media.

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All my socials are linked in the show

notes below and connect with Alison.

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You can find her information

linked below as well.

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So we can have a beautiful,

evolving, iconic community.

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All right, radiant icons.

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Remember, dare to be iconic and

I will see you guys next week.

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Bye.

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About the Podcast

Dare To Be Iconic
Embrace Your Iconic Self
Are you ready, radiant icons?

Welcome to "Dare To Be Iconic," the podcast made for icons daring to be themselves. Hosted by your favorite icon, Amanda Paolicelli, "Dare To Be Iconic" is not just another self-help podcast—it's your weekly tea time session where Amanda spills all the tea on topics like self-confidence, self-improvement, healing, and personal growth.

Why Choose "Dare To Be Iconic"?

~Real Talk, Real Transformation: Amanda's journey from heartbreak to triumph is the heartbeat of the show. This podcast is a safe space for raw, authentic conversations about healing, self-confidence, self-improvement, and personal growth.

~Practical Tips: Amanda shares practical, actionable tips that you can implement in your daily life. From overcoming setbacks to cultivating a positive mindset, each episode equips you with tools to navigate your dare-to-be-iconic journey.

~Community of Radiant Icons: Join a community of like-minded individuals who are also on their dare-to-be-iconic journey. The podcast is an invitation to be part of a supportive community that celebrates victories, learns from challenges, and grows together.

~Midweek Boost: Need a midweek pick-me-up? Tune in every Wednesday for your weekly tea time session.

Subscribe now, radiants icons, because your tea time session is starting.
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About your host

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Amanda Paolicelli