Dare to Rise: Iconic Breakthroughs & Overcoming Self-Doubt

Speaker: 00:00:07

Amanda Paolicelli:

What's up, Radiant icons.

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And welcome back to Dare To Be

Iconic, the podcast made for

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icons daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli

and Oh My God, you guys.

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We're back!

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Season 2 is here, and I am so excited!

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So much has happened since last

season, and if you guys have been

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following the journey on social

media, then you know half of it.

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But if not, what are you

doing with your life?

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Make sure to connect with me on socials.

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All that information is found

in the show notes below.

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I cannot believe it Dare To Be Iconic.

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A year.

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Literally, a year.

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You guys, two years ago when I

was broken up with by a letter

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in a box at my front door.

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I couldn't even imagine that

this would be my life now.

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But I am so, so thankful for this

Dare To Be Iconic journey, and I'm so

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happy that you guys are on it with me.

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So I've decided for our first Tea

Time Sesh back for season two,

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We're going all the way back.

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We're going two years back when that

letter and a box was at my front door and

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the idea of Dare To Be Iconic was born.

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So it's gonna be emotional.

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It's gonna be a wild ride, but

you know what, Radiant Icons?

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I wouldn't want it any other way

for the premiere of season two.

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Are you ready, Radiant Icons?

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Because your tea time is starting now.

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One year of Dare to be Iconic.

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Like, Dare to be Iconic

is turning one years old.

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And if you would have told me two years

ago, when I saw that letter and a box at

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my front door, that this would be the life

that I have now because of that letter

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and a box, I would laugh in your face.

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I would tell you, you're crazy,

that's insane, um, absolutely

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not, what are you talking about?

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Because that Amanda, at that point

in her life, was so broken and so

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lost and I went back in all my

journals because you guys know I

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love to write, I love my journals.

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I went back to my journal from that day

two years ago And I just I wanted to

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read it on here just so we can get to

the perspective of how much not only

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have I grown but Dare To Be Iconic

has grown and everything I've learned.

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So, October 10th, 2022.

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Wow, I'm getting emotional already.

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Okay.

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My first major heartbreak.

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I am blindsided and hurt and confused

and I'm trying to pick up the places

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of a relationship that I thought would

enter me into the next stage of my life.

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I'm trying to find the

gratitude but I cannot.

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He wants no contact with

me and I'm just lost.

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I love him, and he's my best

friend, but I am apparently not his.

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Ooh, that makes me so sad, like,

even reading it and like, saying it

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out loud, because I remember when

I opened the front door that day

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and seeing that letter and a box.

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And being like, what's going on?

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And I remember when I read that first

line of the letter how broken I was

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and how I felt like my whole world

just like came crashing down around me.

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And I know that he treated me like

that because he wanted to hurt me.

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And that's okay.

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In full confidence, I can say that

my ex boyfriend hurt me by leaving

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that letter and a box because

that's what he wanted to do to me.

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But it was how I took that hurt

and how I took that pain and made

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it into something so powerful and

amazing, which is Dare To Be Iconic.

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And I always get asked all

the time, Oh, how do you feel?

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Like, have you heard anything from him?

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I can't believe he ever did that,

but you know what, Amanda, that is

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the best thing he ever did to you.

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That is the best thing he ever did

was leave you the way that he did.

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And I agree.

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I agree wholeheartedly that the best

thing he did was leave me, the best

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thing he did was treat me the way that

he did because it gave me the strength

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to want to better myself and better my

life because I've created my dream life.

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Because of the pain

that he put me through.

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And if there is one thing about me,

you guys, and I know you guys probably

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know this about me, but if there's

one thing about me, I will never

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let a man dictate how I see myself.

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I will never let a man dictate

how my life is going to go.

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Absolutely not.

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If anything, I'm going to take that

and turn that into something that is

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powerful and something that is a strength

of mine, and that's exactly what I did.

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And that's exactly what I do with

every little motif or theme that

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you see in Dare To Be Iconic, it

is something that a man has used to

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belittle, degrade, and demean me.

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The tea time motif was because my ex

stage manager used to call me a chismosa.

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And in Spanish, like, that means gossiper.

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He used that as a negative way to

belittle my thoughts and my feelings.

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Okay, that's fine.

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I'm gonna make it into a tea time sesh.

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My ex boyfriend wants to leave

me with a letter and a box.

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Okay, yeah, it's gonna spark

the entire idea of my business.

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And I'm going to use the letters

and the box as many times as

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I want, because you know what?

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I'm going to reclaim that.

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You want to break up with me

on October 10th, guess what?

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That's the anniversary of my business.

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Period.

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I will never ever let a man

dictate and define how I see

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myself and how I see my life.

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I think that is the biggest thing that

I've learned from Dare To Be Iconic is

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that no matter how much hard shit is

thrown your way you can persevere.

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You can find a way out of it and make

it into a source of strength and all it

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takes is finding that intrinsic motivation

to want to get to the other side.

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This past year has been filled with

so many blessings .There have also

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been some really hard shit that I've

had to deal with and I've had to push

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through and I've had to learn from.

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So we're going to talk about the

lessons that I've learned within

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a year of running my own business.

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One of the biggest challenges is

self doubt and imposter syndrome.

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Like, everyone I know, no matter what

you are doing with your life, deals

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with imposter syndrome and self doubt.

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And when you are an entrepreneur, and

when you are a young entrepreneur, I think

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it's amplified more than you can even

imagine, because you're in that tricky

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transitional phase of your life where you

are the adult in the room for the first

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time and everyone's looking at you for

the answers and you're just like, I'm just

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a girl, because like, literally me all

the time, but like genuinely I'm just a

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girl, but I'm also the adult, so people

are going to look to me for the answers.

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And then when you run your own

business for the first time and you're

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building it from scratch the buck

stops with you, and it starts with you.

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Everyone will look at you for the

answers, and you have to figure it out.

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That's just the reality of it.

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I've definitely seen the spike in self

doubt and the spike in imposter syndrome

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when opportunities are presented to me.

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Because I think that I almost,

that I don't deserve them.

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Even though I know that I work

my ass off, I still think, I'm

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not meant to be in that room.

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That opportunity, they found me?

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How?

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Is this a mistake?

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It has to be a mistake.

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It's like I don't believe in all

the hard work that I've been putting

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behind Dare To Be Iconic that's

presenting me with these opportunities.

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It's like I almost

don't believe in myself.

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Why do we do that to ourselves?

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Like, genuinely, I don't know why

we discredit all the hard work

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and passion and determination we

put behind the stuff that we love.

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Why do we not believe that we

belong in the rooms that we're in?

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Why do we not believe that people are

gonna notice the stuff we're doing?

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Like, why do we believe in that?

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And I think that is the biggest hurdle

I've had to work through this year alone.

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My biggest piece of advice when it comes

to overcoming imposter syndrome and

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self doubt is you need to have that open

and honest conversation with yourself.

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Whether that's talking to yourself

in a mirror, I know that sounds

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crazy, but trust me, it does work.

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Journaling.

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Or like, recording a

voice note on your phone.

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Every little thing that's going on in your

brain, you need to get it out, whether

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you write it, speak it out, whatever you

gotta do, you gotta get it out, doing it

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that way you're able to dissect and get

to the core of it, and once you get to

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the core of those emotions, you're able to

truly, truly see how you can combat them.

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Another thing I've learned on this

journey is that people will try to put

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you in boxes when they don't understand

what you're trying to do and that's

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okay If it doesn't make sense to them.

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It only needs to make sense to you as

long as you keep going towards your

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dreams as long as you keep chasing them

and Putting in the hard work behind them.

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That's all that matters.

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No one else needs to understand your

vision for things and that is the biggest

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lesson that I have learned because

throughout the journey of building

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Dare To Be Iconic for this first year,

I've had a lot of people either hate

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it, doubt it, doesn't make sense to

them, all these other things, right?

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But you know what?

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It doesn't matter.

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It doesn't matter if it doesn't

make sense to anyone else.

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It makes sense to me and the moves

and the choices that I'm making

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make sense to me because I know

the bigger picture for my business.

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And that's all that matters.

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You need to believe in yourself.

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It kind of goes in turn

with this self doubt, right?

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You need to believe in yourself,

but when you're making these

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decisions and people don't understand

it, that's when the imposter

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syndrome and self doubt creeps in.

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You're like, Oh my God, am I

really making the right decision?

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But you are.

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You are because you know

what's right for you.

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Other people's opinions, what

they think of you, what they

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think of what you're doing.

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It's none of your business.

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It's truly none of your business.

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It doesn't concern you what

other people think about you.

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The only thing that matters in this

lifetime is what you think about yourself.

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So why not go after the dreams

that you have in your heart?

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Why not work really hard

to make them a reality?

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And if someone doesn't understand

it and someone doesn't like

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it, oh, well, do it anyway.

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And I think that's kind of the, the

mindset shift that happened for me.

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Okay, Radiant Icons, that is our tea

time sesh for today, but before we go,

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we are introducing our newest segment

for the Dare To Be Iconic podcast,

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which is the Dare To Be Iconic Hotline.

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In this hotline, you guys will be

submitting your questions, your

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advice requests, literally everything

and anything you want to ask me

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and get my opinion of, you ask it

at the Dare To Be Iconic Hotline.

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Let's get into it.

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Hi there, Amanda.

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I was wondering about the process about

realizing that you're embracing your inner

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icon, and how empowering that can feel.

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I think for me when it comes to embracing

your inner icon or embracing your most

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iconic self and that process of it.

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It comes down to the dare to

be iconic mindset Which is

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based off of four pillars.

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So it's trust determination confidence

and authenticity and as I mentioned in

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the The Secret to Living Your Most Iconic

Life, and I will link that episode in the

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show notes for you guys to listen back to.

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But, when it comes to that Dare

To Be Iconic mindset, it's not

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a one stop, done deal, right?

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Like, you're like, oh, I hit all

these four pillars, I've learned

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all about it, oh, I'm good to

go, I'm done with learning.

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Absolutely not.

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That's not how it goes.

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This Dare to Be Iconic journey and

this process of evolving and embracing

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your iconic self, it's Is a continuous

journey of learning because we are ever

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evolving as human beings And I know for

me Trust will always be a pillar that I

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will struggle with but also learning More

about myself within that trust aspect

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has been so liberating and so empowering

Because I truly feel like I have been

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able to come into my own Because I'm able

to have a strong sense of who I am while

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I'm working through these four pillars

in my life and connecting them back to,

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you know, life lessons that are happening

or experiences that are happening.

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And so I just encourage you guys to

apply those four pillars into your life

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and kind of see which ones you need

to work more on and which ones that,

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you know, I'm pretty good on those so

far, but you know what, like, we're

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going to keep learning about them.

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So I would just go back to that dare

to be iconic mindset and those four

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pillars and just see how they connect

to your daily lives and just live

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your most iconic life from there.

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Hey Amanda, I'm starting my first

year of college in the next few weeks.

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What's the best advice for

a beginner like myself?

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I'm super nervous and

not sure what to expect.

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My biggest advice for freshmen in college.

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This is actually really funny

because my second year of college,

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so my first job while I was at

UCF, I was an SLS: 1501

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So I basically was, um, a mentor for

college freshmen and helping them in their

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transition from high school to college.

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And that's actually where

I met my ex boyfriend, so.

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But my biggest piece of advice

when it comes to starting

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college, stay true to yourself.

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I know that's very cliche,

but it's very, very true.

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And also remember why you're

there and time management.

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So staying true to you.

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I feel like there are all

these outside pressures of how

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you should go about college.

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And frankly, that traditional way or

maybe not even traditional , the way

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that it's perceived of how college should

be and like that experience of college

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is not the right way for everyone and

I feel like sometimes all that societal

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pressure of how college should be and

this is how the experience is for la

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la la like it kind of makes people who

don't fit into that way of going about

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college feel like they're missing out.

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And I'm here to tell you that you're not.

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I was the complete opposite of

how it's portrayed in movies.

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Um, I did not go out every night.

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I did not go out drinking.

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Like I did not, I was

such a nerd, you guys.

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I was such a nerd.

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I was always studying.

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I was always in shows.

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Like I was, I was such a nerd, but.

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My point with this is because I wasn't

living the traditional college life of

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going out all the time or going to all

the games and having this like huge big

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social life I always felt like I wasn't

living the full college experience when

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in reality I was doing what was right

for me and I was staying true to me

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and yes I like to go out occasionally,

yes I go out to the football games

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when I can, but what was important to

me in that moment was my degree and

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why I was there, which was to walk

across that stage and get the diploma.

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And even though I didn't get to

walk across the stage because of

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COVID, I always went back to my why.

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And it was, I'm there to get my degree.

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I'm there to soak up as much information

as I can, because if I'm paying all

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this money to get a diploma, I better

soak up all the information that I can

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and make the most of my experience.

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And then on top of that, like, you

just need to stay true to who you are.

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There are a lot of peer pressure

situations and you just have to

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remember your morals and your

values and your beliefs and

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you need to stand firm in them.

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And I think college is a great

place to like expand your horizons

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and, you know, learn new things

but you need to stay true to you.

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And then time management.

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I think with college you have

all this freedom, you know, to

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literally do whatever you want

to do whenever you want to do it.

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And sometimes you kind of

forget to take care of yourself.

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You kind of forget that you

actually have responsibilities.

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You just need to know how to manage

your time effectively, and you need

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to stay true to yourself, and you

need to make decisions that are right

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for you and not for anyone else.

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You also need to realize that everyone

is going to go through college in

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their own way that's true to them.

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All right, Radiant Icons, we did it.

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We are at the end of our

first episode of season two.

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What a ride it has been.

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Like, what a ride.

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I cannot believe that we've made

it to a year and everything that

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has happened and I'm so excited

for what's in store for us next.

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Speaking of, we're starting year

two off with a bang, Radiant Icons.

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That's right, we have

two events coming up.

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We have one in person in

the Central Florida area.

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Tickets are on sale, so make sure

to go check the show notes below.

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And then two, we have a virtual event.

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So Dare to Love, the in person event

is an intimate pajama party for

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an iconic night in while we give

ourselves the love that we deserve.

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So there are going to be multiple

ways self love interactive stations

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and a workshop where we focus on

writing letters to our younger

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selves so that we can finally give

ourselves the love we deserve.

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In addition, for all my non

florida radiant icons we are

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having a virtual event, so it's a

virtual Dare To Love masterclass.

300

: 00:16:28

I'm bringing all the elements from

the in person event virtually,

301

: 00:16:32

so we can dive into it even more

intimately than ever before.

302

: 00:16:37

Year two is bigger and better than ever.

303

: 00:16:40

I am so excited for what's to

come, and I cannot wait to share

304

: 00:16:44

all the iconic announcements that

I have lined up for year two.

305

: 00:16:48

It's gonna be great, it's gonna be

bigger and better than ever, and it's

306

: 00:16:52

just gonna be an iconic time, okay?

307

: 00:16:54

Okay!

308

: 00:16:55

Anyway!

309

: 00:16:57

I will see you guys next week.

310

: 00:16:59

Remember radiant icons dare to be iconic.

311

: 00:17:02

Bye