Break Up With The Past, Fall In Love With The Future

Amanda Paolicelli: 00:00:02

What's up, radiant icons, and welcome back to

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Dare to be Iconic, the podcast made

for icons daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli,

and today we are breaking up

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with our past and falling in

love with our iconic future.

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We are turning that pain into power.

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But before we get into that.

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I dare you to go to daretobeiconic.

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com and subscribe to my newsletter to

join the radiant icon community and

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go to the show notes below to check

out my journal Break Up With The

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Past, Fall In Love With The Future.

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So, the tea is hot and very,

very fresh for today's episode.

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Let's start with the concept of healing.

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Healing is like a rollercoaster, okay?

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That feeling when you're going backwards,

so that backsliding feeling when

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you're on a rollercoaster, is the same

when you feel like you're backsliding

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in your healing journey, right?

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That is completely normal

and it's part of the process.

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And sometimes that feels

like failure, but it's not.

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We sometimes have to go backwards in

order to propel forward, healing is never

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going to be this linear straight line.

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It's like a roller coaster

because there are dips and

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turns and everything in between.

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We're going to go upside down sideways,

like all this stuff that a roller coaster

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is, that is the concept of healing.

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That is what our healing

journey looks like.

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So how can we turn this pain that we are

experiencing into a source of power, into

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a source of resiliency and into strength.

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Letters have always been a trigger for me.

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My last ex, as I mentioned in the

previous episode, broke up with

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me through a letter in a box.

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The ex prior to him was one of the

most draining two months of my life.

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That was a two month relationship that I

do talk about more in my blog, sparsely.

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To sum it up, that two month

horrible relationship ended also

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with a letter at my front door.

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And my ex that broke up with me

through a box and a letter knew about

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that story because I was with him

during that time when I received that

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letter from my first ex boyfriend.

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He knew how triggering letters were to me.

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I was so mad at him when I saw

that letter at my front door.

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Because how can someone be so cruel

and so insensitive, someone that you

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love so much, to treat you in such

a shitty way, and to use something

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that they know is so painful for you,

to cause another traumatic memory.

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So for me, it felt like

letters were consuming my life.

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For me, this concept of

turning pain into power.

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It comes down to how can I reclaim

these things that were taken from me.

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I have never experienced a

letter in the way it should, that

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concept of, love letters from

to all the boys I loved before.

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Letters never had that sweet love effect.

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It was taken from me because

of trauma being placed on me.

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In my brain, I was so tired of me not

being able to see a letter and not

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associate it with a positive memory.

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And that really sucked.

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I felt like it honestly took over my life.

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So, when it came to how

can I reclaim letters?

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I had to look within and do the work.

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I wanted to reclaim dates.

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I wanted to replace painful

memories with happy ones.

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So every time October 10th comes around,

I will now remember it, not as the day of

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my breakup, but as the day of this Dare

To Be Iconic movement starting, because I

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released my blog on October 10th, 2023,

a year after my breakup, so that that

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day can now be a happy memory for me.

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Every February 24th, I do

something with my girlfriends.

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to have a happy memory of that day.

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So this year, we

literally went go karting.

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And I don't know if you guys know

this, but on my social media, if

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you follow me, I am a big Formula

One fan, big Lando Norris fan.

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For me, karting has always

been something I wanted to do.

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So why not have this first of

something that I've always wanted,

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that I love, make it on a day,

That is slightly triggering for me.

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That is slightly sensitive to me, right?

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That's how I turn my pain into power.

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That's how I break up with the past

and fall in love with my future.

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I have to let go of the pain and embrace

this emotional turbulence that I'm in

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to propel forward in my healing journey.

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That's how I find the strength and

resilience in myself to bounce back, to

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reclaim my narrative, to reclaim my story.

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I take the days back.

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I take the memory back and I make

it into something positive for me.

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I make it into something that I

can look back on and be like that

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is a day I will always remember.

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That memory is now stitched in my head for

February 24th, and it's no longer the day

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where my ex boyfriend taped a letter to my

apartment door after he broke up with me.

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It's no longer that.

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October 10th is no longer the

day where I was broken up with.

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It's now a day where I took my power back.

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I reclaimed my story.

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Turning your pain into power is all

about finding the strength within

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yourself so that you can bounce back

and come out stronger on the other end.

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How can you take certain instances

in your life and reclaim them to

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you in your own unique, iconic way?

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This concept of breaking up with

the past and falling in love with

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the future is a five step plan.

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In my journal, that you can find in

the show notes linked below, it is

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a five step process where I guide

you in the pain to power journey.

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You have to break up with the past.

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You have to feel those feelings.

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Embrace the emotional turbulence.

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Go through the waves.

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Feel them all to fall in love with

your future and dare to be iconic.

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Because once you break up with that old

version of you, with those old triggers.

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You are able to turn them into

strength to fall in love with the

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future that you want for yourself.

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Once you step free from your triggers

and from your pain, you're able to

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embrace so many amazing opportunities

that will come into your life.

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I firmly believe that if my ex did not

break up with me in the way that he

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did, I would not be where I am today.

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I would not be the icon

that I am right now.

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And so my hope is, with this journal

that you find that too, within yourself.

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Because sometimes, it just takes something

really shitty for you to want to change

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your life and step into your power.

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So for me, it was the letters, it was

the date, it was this whole entire thing.

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This whole entire breakup and

being reminded once again, that

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he thought he can take control of

my life by bringing back something

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that was really, really cruel.

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He doesn't get that.

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I will not let him take that from me.

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He doesn't get to take the day.

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He doesn't get to take the letters

and he doesn't get to take the box.

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So how can I reclaim it?

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And I have, and I hope you guys can too.

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I hope that through this journal and

through the exercises in it, that I'm

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able to guide you into this beautiful

journey of falling in love with the

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iconic you that you're coming into.

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You know, we are all going through

this healing journey together . We all

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deal with shitty situations, but It's

how we overcome them that shows us

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our strength and resiliency within.

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So that is our tea time sesh

for today, radiant icons.

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In our next episode, we're going

to be talking about the word

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iconic and how you can be an icon.

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If you liked today's episode, make sure

to leave a review, subscribe, share

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it with your friends and follow me on

Instagram at amandapayo: 1219

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If you get my journal, make

sure to tag me in it and use

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the hashtag dare to be iconic.

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I am so excited to hear

your guys thoughts.

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Remember radiant icons dare to be iconic.

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I'll see you soon.

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Bye.