Healing After Heartbreak: My DTBI Origin Story

Amanda Paolicelli: 00:00:00

What is up, radiant icons, and welcome to the first

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ever episode of Dare to be Iconic.

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I am your host, Amanda Paolicelli.

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Before we go into our tea time session,

I spill all the tea about my life.

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I dare you to go to daretobeiconic.com and

subscribe to my newsletter so that you can

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join our beautiful radiant icon community.

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So,

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How do you dare to be iconic?

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What does dare to be iconic mean?

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How do you get to dare to be iconic?

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And how did I get to dare to be iconic?

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How did I get into this dare to be iconic

mindset where I embrace my iconic self?

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How did this all start?

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Our tea time sesh is starting now, and

it starts with a little heartbreak.

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Let's get into it.

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Now, I genuinely know in my soul

that my Dare To Be Iconic origin

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story started with a little

heartbreak and then you know what?

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I don't even know why I'm saying little.

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It was a big heartbreak.

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It was very traumatic and I can

laugh about it now because I'm so

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far removed from the situation.

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But, I genuinely believe that my traumatic

breakup changed the trajectory of my

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life because if it didn't happen the

way that it did ,which I will get to

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in a second, I would not be the person

that I am today, and I can confidently

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say that I truly love who I am.

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But anyway, let's dive into what

actually happened in my breakup?

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So I was in a long term relationship

for about three and a half years and I

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was at the stage in that relationship

where we were future planning.

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So we were talking about marriage.

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We were looking at rings.

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We were looking at places to move

out of state together- all these

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like really big adult things that

I genuinely never would have like

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thought of me doing in my entire life.

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I was doing it.

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I look back at that time and

I'm like, what was I doing?

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I was never the girl

who was like, Oh my God.

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let me plan my wedding.

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I'm going to have this certain

type of wedding dress look.

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I could care less what I

was wearing to my wedding.

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I wake up Monday morning,

th,: 2022

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So I open the email from my ex,

and it's like, I left you a little

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something at your front door.

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Didn't think anything of it.

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I mean, yeah, it was strange.

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I was like, why is he leaving me an email?

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But, okay, like, whatever.

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I'm just, I'm gonna go to the front

door and see what he has for me.

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So I go to the front door, and I see

this box the size of a dresser, like

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literally the size of a dresser,

y'all, with a letter on top, and

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the letter is addressed Amanda.

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That should have been my

first clue, but it wasn't.

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I disregard the letter and I go to

open the box and I see all the gifts

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that I had given him within our

three and a half year relationship.

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And I was like, what is this?

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I opened the letter and within the

first two lines, my ex ended our

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three and a half year relationship.

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He ended three and a half years

of our lives through a letter

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and then requested that we never

talk again and then blocked me.

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So, as you can see, that was traumatic.

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So for the months following the breakup,

I really let what he wrote about me

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in that letter define how I saw myself

and I really let it dictate the course

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of my life for about two months.

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And I remember being so tired of running

away from every single thing in my life.

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I was running away from myself.

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I was running away from my family.

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I was running away from my friends.

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I was pretending to be okay when

really I was just a broken mess

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on the inside because again, I was

truly letting his words define me.

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I was letting his actions

dictate who I was.

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I truly thought in my mind

that his actions were a

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reflection of me and not him.

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When in fact, it's the complete opposite.

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Someone else's actions will always

be a reflection of them and not you.

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Someone else's words do not

define how you see yourself.

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All that truly ever matters

is how you see yourself.

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But at that time, I couldn't see that.

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So what did I do?

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I embrace the dare to be iconic mindset.

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Dare to be iconic basically means

that you are daring to be yourself.

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That no matter what room you walk

into, you are so comfortable and

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confident with who you are at your core.

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That you're choosing yourself and stepping

into your power and creating that life

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that you want for yourself because

you are embracing your iconic self.

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Whenever you put yourself

first and make yourself a

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priority, it opens up the doors.

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For amazing opportunities to fall into

place because you are loving who you

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are and are unapologetic about it.

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So that's exactly what I did 2023 was

my year of growth and honestly, it

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was one of the best years of my life.

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Because by embracing that mindset and

embracing my iconic self and stepping

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into my power and doing things for me for

the first time in my life, I was truly

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able to get to know who I am, and that's

what Dare to Be Iconic is all about.

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Getting to know who you are, at your

core, and loving it, no matter what.

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So, how can you do it too?

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So here are some steps on how you can

Dare to Be Iconic in your daily life.

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You're going to hear me say this a lot,

but you need to make yourself a priority.

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You need to choose yourself first.

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I am the biggest advocate out

there for the choose yourself

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journey, and you need to go on it.

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If you want to change your life and

step into your power and be confident

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and comfortable with who you are.

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You need to choose yourself first.

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Then you need to embrace

what life throws at you.

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So all those question marks, when things

that you don't understand are happening

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to you, like why they are: embrace them.

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They are happening for a reason.

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So lean into it and learn from it.

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See it as an opportunity for growth.

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One of my favorites is

turning your pain into power.

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Now, I don't mean to toot my own

horn or anything, but I am the

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queen of turning my pain into power.

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That basically means turning a

shitty situation or something

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really horrible happening and

making it into a source of strength.

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Find what is holding you back that

you no longer have control of and

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make it into a source of strength.

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And then my last one is you

need to surround yourself

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with a supportive community.

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So whether it's your friends, your family,

or joining our beautiful radiant icon

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community, you need to be able to lean

on others for support, to hype you up

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when you're not able to hype yourself up.

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And that is our tea time session

for today, Radiant Icons.

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I am so excited to have you guys here for

this new chapter of Dare to be Iconic.

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Make sure to leave a review.

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And follow me on Instagram, at

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@amandapayo1219.

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And stay tuned for our next episode,

which is a favorite of mine.

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I'm teaching you how to break up with your

past and fall in love with your future.

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That's right, we're turning

pain into power, which is a

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subject that I am an icon on.

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So Remember icons, dare to be iconic.

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I'll see you next time.

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Bye!