Daring To Be Confident (Re-Run)
EPISODE RE-RUN
It's all about confidence, radiant icons!
In this episode of 'Dare to Be Iconic', Amanda spills the tea on confidence, sharing her experiences from a 30-day confidence challenge. Amanda discusses the importance of self-reflection, loving imperfections, and the power of vulnerability. She recaps her journey, the lessons learned, and provides insights on how to confidently embrace every part of yourself. Tune in to learn how to boost your self-esteem and connect with your inner strength.
Referenced Episodes:
The Secret to Living Your Most Iconic Life
We Have F1 To Blame ft. Noelle Magann and Dani Fryant
Connect with Amanda:
Grab your copy of "New Year, Iconic You" 2025 Planner!
Grab your copy of "Break Up With The Past, Fall In Love With The Future" healing journal!
Got a question for Amanda or a topic you'd love to hear discussed on a future episode? Submit your question to the "Dare To Be Iconic Hotline" today!
Time Stamps:
00:00 Welcome to Dare To Be Iconic
00:40 The 30-Day Confidence Challenge: A Recap
02:43 The Power of Self-Love and Accountability
06:00 Unveiling the Journey: Lessons from the Challenge
08:28 Embracing Imperfections: The Path to True Confidence
12:35 The Why Behind the Challenge: Transformative Self-Improvement
19:39 Reflections and Realizations: Growing Through Struggles
23:22 Unlocking the Secret to Confidence
24:25 See you for next week's tea time sesh!
Transcript
What's up radiant icons and welcome back to Dare to be Iconic.
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:The podcast made for icons
daring to be themselves.
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:I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli,
and this week looks a little
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:bit different, you guys.
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:We are doing an episode rerun,
specifically Daring to Be Confident.
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:Now, this week, I am away from sunny
Orlando, Florida, and I'm in the very,
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:very cold, State of, um, of elsewhere.
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:I'm not gonna say what state I'm in
until I get back, but that's okay.
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:If you guys don't know this about me, I
also have a regular nine to five on top
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:of running and building Dare to be Iconic.
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:And sometimes, you know,
we gotta figure it out.
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:So this week, we're doing an episode
rerun of I think this episode is
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:so prevalent, not only what's going
on in my own personal life, but
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:to the conversations we've just
had on Dare to be Iconic, right?
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:We've spoken to two everyday icons,
Agatha and Anya, and at the core root
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:of their Dare to be Iconic origin story,
as well as my own and as many of you,
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:it's daring to be confident, daring to
be yourselves, because at the end of
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:the day, the most powerful thing that
we can do is dare to be ourselves.
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:So, I think that all intertwines with
confidence, which is, you know, one of the
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:biggest things about Dare to be Iconic,
so we're rerunning that episode today.
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:I hope you enjoy it, you guys.
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:So are you ready, Radiant Icons?
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:Because your teatime sesh is starting now.
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:All right, radiant icons.
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:So as I mentioned in our
little introduction, we
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:are talking about confidence.
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:And as I mentioned beforehand,
Confidence is the root of what
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:Dare to Be Iconic is all about.
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:Because when I say Dare to Be Iconic,
I basically mean dare to be yourself.
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:How do you start that confidence journey?
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:Well, I'm going to talk about everything
that I learned on my 30 day challenge of
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:daring to be confident, and it couldn't
have come at a better time in my life.
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:Because I feel like, and a lot of
people say this, that when you are in
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:your mid 20s, your body, it changes.
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:More than it did in your early 20s,
and shit starts to get real, like
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:really real, and we're gonna dive deep
into that so I can warn you what no
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:one warned me about when I turned 25.
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:But no, honestly, I'm gonna spill the
tea on how we got to where we are today,
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:because right now at this time in my
life, I am truly very confident in who
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:I am, because I've embraced every little
aspect of what makes Amanda, amanda.
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:But it wasn't always that way.
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:It really wasn't y'all.
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:So we're going to spill a tea about
all that today and how you can dare
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:to be confident in your everyday life.
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:Okay, so The daring to
be confident challenge.
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:Let me tell you, I was not like,
we're just going to be open and
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:transparent this entire time.
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:I mean, that's what the whole point
of Dare to be Iconic is about, right?
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:Being open and transparent
on the platform that I have.
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:And I'm going to be honest, it was.
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:30 days, right, of daring to
be confident and following
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:the, the steps that I set out.
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:Okay, I was not,
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:I did not do all the steps continuously.
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:Like, I did not commit all the
way through with all of the steps.
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:There is one step in particular
that I only did for 11 days.
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:I want to say 11 days?
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:It definitely probably was 11 days,
but I, I'm going to be so for real,
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:not all of the steps that I had in
the daring to be confident challenge.
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:I completed throughout the 30 days.
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:I stopped halfway through
because it got too much at times.
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:Life was very, very hectic for me in
mid April to May, as you guys listened
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:to the last podcast episode, you would
know that we dealt with a lot of anxiety
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:and panic and stress in May, and daring
to be confident did help somewhat, but
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:it got too much for this specific step.
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:So let's talk about the step of writing
down three things you love about yourself
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:and telling your iconic bestie about it.
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:I had four girlfriends that I did this
challenge with to hold me accountable.
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:And what I learned is that I think
I bit off too much than I can chew.
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:I think I spread, spread myself a
little bit too thin with this challenge.
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:Um, but specifically that step.
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:It is not realistic for me
to write down three things I
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:love about myself every day.
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:I think I could have brought it back and
maybe done twice a week, once a week,
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:so that I can build up my tolerance of
having that self reflection time because
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:it's so important and it was very vital
at this part in my life while I was
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:dealing with a lot of insecurities.
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:But y'all, oh my God, I could not
commit to doing it all 30 days.
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:Like I just, I just couldn't, like I,
I physically and mentally could not.
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:So I think when I redo this challenge, I'm
going to be a little bit more realistic on
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:the expectations that I set for myself and
you all, which is, you know, maybe combine
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:that journaling with the gratitude of
the three things you love about yourself.
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:Maybe do it once or twice a week.
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:Like I realized when I didn't.
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:Fully commit to it for all 30 days that
those three things I love about myself.
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:I was getting really hard on myself
and going back into those perfectionist
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:tendencies of, Oh my God, Amanda,
like you need to do X, Y, and Z.
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:You need to be perfect at this.
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:Girl, it's a 30 day challenge on how you
can better your confidence, how you can
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:go on this boosting confidence journey so
within you can feel better about yourself.
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:But I was so stuck in these old
patterns of wanting it to be perfect
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:and wanting to do everything right.
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:Here's the newsflash, you are challenging
yourself to look within and dig deep.
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:So besides the commitment part, let's
talk about what I learned from writing
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:out three things that I love about
myself and sharing it with my friends.
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:So when my girlfriends and I
wrote down our three things,
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:I was like, you know what?
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:Let's challenge ourselves and let's
do two personality and one physical.
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:Because I know for me, it was going
to be very difficult for me to say
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:something that I was physically
comfortable with in my body.
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:And then it was going to be easier for
me to write two personality things.
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:And I was like, Oh, great.
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:This is going to be perfect.
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:And the more, as I was going through
it for those 11 days that I stayed
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:consistent in it, at first, you
know, you do the surface level stuff.
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:Oh, I love my eyes.
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:Oh, I, I love my hair.
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:I love that I'm really funny.
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:I love how smart I am.
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:Like, all these surface level
things that we already know
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:that you love about yourself.
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:But the more you do it, the more
specific you have to get, right?
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:You have to dig deeper and
have that self reflection.
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:So when I did these three
things that I love about myself
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:and challenging myself to.
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:Pick one physical trait because
I knew that would be the hardest.
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:The more I got into it, the more I
was forced to look within and dig deep
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:and to really truly think about Okay,
Amanda, what are some things that maybe
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:you neglected that don't come to mind
right away that you actually do love
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:about yourself or what are some things
that you want to love about yourself
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:that you realize, Hey, like I, I kind
of dismissed that part of my body, or
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:I kind of disassociate with this part
of my personality because X, Y, and Z.
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:And the more I was able to challenge
myself with those specific prompts.
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:The more I was able to be self aware
of some aspects of myself that I
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:kind of neglected and Put to the back
burner and didn't give as much love
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:to it's so much easier for me to say
the things that i'm like Oh, yeah.
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:I know i'm funny.
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:Oh, yeah.
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:I know i'm smart.
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:Oh, yeah.
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:I know i'm bold Okay.
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:Yeah, but give me something new.
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:Give me something that
you're scared to talk about.
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:And the more I got vulnerable with myself,
the more I was able to create connections
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:and a deeper relationship with my besties,
because I was opening up to myself and
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:then I was challenging myself to talk
about the stuff that's really scary to my
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:besties, which was allowing me to create
some type of common thread even if they
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:aren't able to fully relate to one aspect.
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:So there is one part of me that
I'm always uncomfortable with.
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:I am not the most
comfortable with my arms.
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:I just don't Like how they look I've
tried everything I've tried doing the
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:weights I've tried doing the pilates
for the strength training .But no
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:matter what I do, my arms will always
be something i'm insecure about.
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:It's probably one of my biggest
insecurities on my body apart from my
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:eczema, But we are all pretty much aware
how my relationship with eczema is But
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:the more I was able to dig deep as to
why I'm not as confident or comfortable
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:with showing off my arms, I was able to
uncover some really interesting things
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:that I honestly didn't even think about.
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:And when I opened up to my friends about
it, I was able to create a common thread
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:with them, whether it's, you know, they
can relate to that specific part like
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:if they also are insecure about their
arms or allowed them to really think
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:about something different on their body
or in their personality that, you know,
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:brought up some emotions for them, and
being able to have that open and honest
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:conversation with your friends and
just feeling like you're not alone on
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:this journey of just trying to figure
out how to love yourself better and
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:fully embrace every little thing about
yourself makes the journey less scary.
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:Now, I know I say all the time that
the Dare to Be Iconic journey is
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:not just an individual journey,
it is a collective journey.
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:And one of my friends, Dani, which I
think was episode six I want to say
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:it was six, but she basically said
that let your friends be your mirror.
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:And I think that is so relevant to this
daring to be confident challenge because
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:when we are daring to be ourselves, when
we are daring to be iconic and loving
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:every little imperfection of ourselves,
we can get really hard on ourselves.
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:I mean, that's just regular
human nature, right?
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:We are always going to be our hardest
critics always, no matter what.
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:And yes, we should give
ourselves more grace.
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:Yes, we should be kinder to ourselves,
but that's a lot easier said than done.
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:But being able to take in the words
of what Dani had told me, which is,
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:let your friends be your mirror.
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:I was able to apply that concept on this
journey when it came to having those
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:hard conversations about things that I
don't like to talk about, which is the
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:things that I'm insecure about on my body.
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:Personality wise, we have
fully accepted who we are.
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:But body wise, physically wise, there
will always be something on me that I
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:will not be 100 percent confident with.
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:But I need to start loving it.
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:And I need to start realizing that
I'm not alone in this journey.
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:No one, no one is perfect.
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:Even the most perfect
person you can think of.
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:And I know we all have those
people that we are thinking of.
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:Oh my God.
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:Like they're so perfect.
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:I can name one person right now
that we probably all know who,
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:who in my mind I am thinking of,
but like, they are not perfect.
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:They don't love every single thing
about themselves, whether that's
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:personality wise, like anything, right?
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:But being able to think of let my friends
be that mirror in that moment, when
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:I'm being vulnerable, when I'm opening
up to them about stuff that makes me
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:feel not as confident and I am trying
to love myself, show so much about who
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:you are as a person and it allows you
to really want to propel forward and be
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:motivated In continuing out this journey.
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:Being able to know that you are not alone
when you're figuring shit out- Probably
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:the best feeling right because at times
it can feel so isolating when you're
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:just trying to figure out life when
you're trying to figure out who you are.
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:But being able to have people that
you trust and that you love and
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:that you're able to have these
like really deep conversations
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:with makes everything worthwhile.
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:Furthermore, let's go to one of
the most important points of this
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:challenge is going back to your why.
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:Now, I've been very open and honest
about my, not my confidence struggles,
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:but I would say my eczema struggles,
specifically in episode 4, The Secret
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:to Living Your Most Iconic Life,
which I will link in the show notes
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:below if you haven't listened to it.
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:I do have to say, it's probably
one of my favorite episodes talking
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:about that dare to be iconic mindset.
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:Confidence is such a big factor of that
mindset, but going back into my why.
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:Whenever you go on a transformative
self improvement journey like this
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:one, even if it's just for 30 days and
you decided to dip your toe into the
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:pool and like kind of see how it is.
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:It is so important to go back
to your why because I think
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:It's kind of like a fine line.
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:Your tiptoeing sometimes when you're
talking about, or at least for me with
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:my experience with my body, it can get to
an unhealthy obsession of wanting to look
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:a certain way for X, Y, and Z purposes.
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:Since I was a little girl, I've
always had body image issues.
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:And I think it started in, I want
to say like second or third grade.
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:And as we all know from my
social media, um, I love to show
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:off certain parts of my body.
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:I'm fully, I think, embraced every
aspect of how I look, but it wasn't.
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:always like that.
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:I'm still insecure about my arms as we
all know, but I'm always been insecure
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:about my body shape, my body type.
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:It's not what the traditional Hollywood
aesthetic would think is, um, accepting
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:or, or pleasing to them, right?
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:I will never be what Hollywood deems as
beautiful, or at least when I was growing
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:up, because now we're a little bit more
accepting of different beauty types and
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:shapes, and I think that's amazing, and
that's so beautiful, and that's so vital.
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:But when I was younger, especially
in second and third grade, the body
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:types that were being Glorified
did not look anything like mine and
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:being in a performing background,
the smaller you were, the better.
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:And for me, it was always this mental
and physical battle of trying to be
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:what society deemed as beautiful.
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:And it took a while to gain that
self esteem and that high self
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:concept, which we're still struggling
with, but getting back to my why.
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:I didn't want to go back to these
unhealthy habits that I had picked
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:up when I was younger of trying to
attain a certain body image or look.
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:I started seeing that within myself,
but I started seeing the thoughts pop
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:back in, specifically when it went to
my eczema, I, as we all know, I am a
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:perfectionist, and for anyone who's
a perfectionist, they'll know, like,
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:it's so, so hard trying to break those
habits of wanting to just be perfect.
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:On this daring to be iconic
journey for me, I know a big thing
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:I say is be imperfectly iconic.
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:It's so freeing when you do, but at
times it's very, very hard, especially
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:from the background that I come in with
this, you know, perfectionist tendencies.
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:I want everything to be X,
Y, and Z perfect to a T.
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:And while we're trying that, I noticed
that when my eczema, having the
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:worst flare up I've ever had at the
inning of this year, January,:
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:It's been seven years since I've ever
experienced a flare up like that.
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:But I just didn't know what was
going on with my body and my legs.
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:Cause it was on my legs.
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:It was like, it was the worst flare
up I've ever experienced in my life.
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:But seeing my body change overnight and
seeing these big red spots on my legs
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:and just feeling so ugly and so down
on myself on how I looked and something
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:that I couldn't control, right, because
eczema is something that you cannot cure.
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:It's something that you have no control
over and someone who loves to have
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:control over everything, it is so hard.
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:It was the hardest mental battle
and physical battle I've ever had
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:was at the beginning of this year.
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:Dealing with my skin, in my
mind, basically betraying me.
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:Because it was like overnight,
my legs just changed.
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:I didn't Recognize what I was looking
at in the mirror and all the thoughts
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:that I had about myself were not nice
thoughts at all, And I'm not proud
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:of the things I thought about myself.
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:I don't wish it upon anyone.
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:It was really hard and I was like,
how do I get out of this hole?
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:How do I dig myself out and like the more
I was talking to my girlfriends about it.
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:The more, You know, they were able to
open up to me on like things that they
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:were insecure about on their body,
like even if they couldn't relate to
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:eczema, there were other things for them
physically that they were dealing with.
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:And I was like, how can we all
combat these insecurities together?
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:How can we become more
confident in who we are?
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:And that's how the daring to be confident
challenge was birthed basically,
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:was because I I, one, didn't want
to go back to that perpetuous cycle
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:of negative thoughts about myself.
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:I wanted to break it right then and there.
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:Two, I realized that there was really
a problem that we needed a solution to.
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:And if we all are feeling this insecure
and uncomfortable in our skins, in
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:our skin, how can we collectively
go on a journey to love ourselves?
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:Because that's what my
whole platform is about.
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:How can we do better?
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:And how can we perpetuate
a feeling of positivity and
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:happiness and Comfortability
in our bodies together, right?
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:also I don't like doing things alone
when it comes to challenges I feel
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:like i'm more Motivated when i'm with
someone that I know and love right?
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:That was my why.
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:My why is I wanted to better myself
and I I saw a problem that wasn't being
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:Fixed and I was like, you know what?
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:You I've used my voice this
far in life on my platform.
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:Why not continue it with the challenge
and why not see how's it, how it goes?
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:And that's, that was my why.
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:And that's why we started the
daring to be confident challenge.
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:And I think it's turned out pretty well.
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:I think it was pretty successful.
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:Overall, I definitely noticed some
things, such as the one I mentioned
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:before, like that was the biggest lesson.
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:. Making sure I don't spread myself
too thin, that I'm a little bit
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:more realistic in things that I
expect, you know, to do for 30 days.
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:And self reflection was so important
because it brought up emotions
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:in myself and memories that I
disassociated with and kind of forgot.
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:So even though I wasn't continuous in
that one specific step, because all the
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:other steps on, all the other steps in
this challenge honestly were a breeze.
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:It was so, so easy.
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:But writing the three things I
loved about myself was the most
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:challenging part of this challenge.
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:And it really opened my eyes to things
that I can work on and do better.
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:It really allowed me to see
myself in a different light.
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:And I definitely think, coming out of
it, that I've not only learned a lot
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:about myself, but I'm more confident.
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:And I realize that when I have negative
thoughts about, oh, I don't look cute in
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:this photo, I hate that angle of myself,
why do I look this way, or Oh my god,
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:Amanda, like, you are literally too much.
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:Like, cause I have this fear of being
too much for people sometimes, you know?
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:But, I'm imperfectly iconic.
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:But, you know, like, that specific
step in this challenge truly allowed
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:me to have the self reflection that
I think I neglected for a while.
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:Because when I journal, I love a good
prompt, and I love just writing what's
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:on my mind, and I have a gratitude
journal with a manifestation journal
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:that I also do, and we will talk about
that in the next episode, I promise you.
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:We will not, not forget to talk
about manifestation delusion.
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:But, journaling, at the end of the
day, Sometimes I may skirt around
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:the deeper and harder conversations
that I need to have with myself.
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:And by forcing myself to really look
within and go beneath the surface level,
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:it opened my eyes to a lot of things
that I was neglecting within myself.
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:And it made me feel better.
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:Realize a lot about who I am
and what I can handle and what I
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:need to pour more love back into.
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:I think that specific step is
something that I will take with
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:me for the rest of my life.
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:Because it's going to force me to think
deeper about who I am and who would
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:I be if I keep telling you guys, dare
to be, you, dare to be iconic, if I
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:don't continue on in this journey of
self improvement and self reflection.
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:Because like I've said multiple
times before, like I am not perfect.
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:I am imperfectly iconic and I own all
my failures and I own all my triumphs
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:and I own all the little in between
moments of my life and I share them
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:here so that we can all learn from them
because there are universal lessons.
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:And I think the universal lesson
with confidence is that you have to
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:have self reflection, even when it's
sticky and icky and it's the stuff
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:that you don't want to talk about.
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:Right there in the ugly, in the
hard parts, is where you are going
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:to learn the most about yourself.
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:And that's where your
confidence skyrockets.
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:The easy and the fun parts, oh
my god, of course, that's The
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:most amazing parts of life.
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:But when you think about it.
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:The hard shit is when you
learn the most about yourself.
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:It always is when you
go through struggles.
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:That's why turning your pain into power
is one of the biggest Like lessons
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:that I love to talk about because it's
really in those hard times Where you
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:can turn it into a source of strength
is where you learn what you are
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:capable of and I think that's the same
concept when it comes to confidence.
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:It's when you take the time to have
those hard conversations with yourself.
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:It's when you talk about the stuff
that's not surface level, and you dig
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:down deep, and you really find out who
you are, and you start embracing it.
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:Because the whole point of daring
to be yourself, daring to be iconic
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:is loving every little part of
yourself, the good, the bad, the
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:ugly, and everything in between and
that's the secret to confidence.
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:The secret to confidence is being able to
talk about the hard shit, to look within,
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:and challenge yourself to start loving it.
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:It's easy for us to love the
good parts about us, right?
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:The good, shiny parts that we
put on display on social media.
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:But those hard parts that we either
hide behind a mask or we push that down.
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:When we face it, that's when we
learn the most about ourselves.
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:That's when we dare to be iconic.
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:That's when we dare to be confident.
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:That's when you dare to be yourself.
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:And that is your Tea Time
Sesh for today, Radiant Icons.
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:I hope you enjoyed this episode
rerun of Daring to be Confident.
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:If you liked today's episode, make sure
to subscribe, to leave a review, to leave
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:a rating, to share it with your friends.
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:You know, all that good stuff.
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:stuff because what?
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:We love more radiant icons in our
iconic community of ours, period.
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:Okay, you guys, but like seriously,
I hope you enjoyed this episode.
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:Don't worry.
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:Next week we are coming back
with a brand new episode.
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:It's a solo episode.
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:We're talking about burnout
tips and being thankful and
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:gratitude because here in the U.
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:S.
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:it's Thanksgiving week.
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:So we're going to share
a little bit of that.
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:But anyway, make sure to connect with me
on socials, you guys, for all the behind
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:the scenes action of Dare to Be Iconic.
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:And make sure to grab your copy of
New Year Iconic You, the:
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:to living your most iconic life.
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:And if you do follow me on
socials, well, there's gonna be
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:a Black Friday sale for everyone.
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:It doesn't matter if you're in the U.
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:S.
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:or not.
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:So, make sure to stay tuned.
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:Anyway, I will see you guys next week.
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:Remember, radiant icons dare to be iconic.
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:Bye!