Daring To Be Confident (Re-Run)

Amanda Paolicelli: 00:00:08

What's up radiant icons and welcome back to Dare to be Iconic.

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The podcast made for icons

daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli,

and this week looks a little

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bit different, you guys.

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We are doing an episode rerun,

specifically Daring to Be Confident.

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Now, this week, I am away from sunny

Orlando, Florida, and I'm in the very,

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very cold, State of, um, of elsewhere.

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I'm not gonna say what state I'm in

until I get back, but that's okay.

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If you guys don't know this about me, I

also have a regular nine to five on top

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of running and building Dare to be Iconic.

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And sometimes, you know,

we gotta figure it out.

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So this week, we're doing an episode

rerun of I think this episode is

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so prevalent, not only what's going

on in my own personal life, but

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to the conversations we've just

had on Dare to be Iconic, right?

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We've spoken to two everyday icons,

Agatha and Anya, and at the core root

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of their Dare to be Iconic origin story,

as well as my own and as many of you,

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it's daring to be confident, daring to

be yourselves, because at the end of

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the day, the most powerful thing that

we can do is dare to be ourselves.

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So, I think that all intertwines with

confidence, which is, you know, one of the

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biggest things about Dare to be Iconic,

so we're rerunning that episode today.

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I hope you enjoy it, you guys.

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So are you ready, Radiant Icons?

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Because your teatime sesh is starting now.

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All right, radiant icons.

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So as I mentioned in our

little introduction, we

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are talking about confidence.

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And as I mentioned beforehand,

Confidence is the root of what

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Dare to Be Iconic is all about.

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Because when I say Dare to Be Iconic,

I basically mean dare to be yourself.

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How do you start that confidence journey?

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Well, I'm going to talk about everything

that I learned on my 30 day challenge of

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daring to be confident, and it couldn't

have come at a better time in my life.

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Because I feel like, and a lot of

people say this, that when you are in

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your mid 20s, your body, it changes.

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More than it did in your early 20s,

and shit starts to get real, like

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really real, and we're gonna dive deep

into that so I can warn you what no

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one warned me about when I turned 25.

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But no, honestly, I'm gonna spill the

tea on how we got to where we are today,

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because right now at this time in my

life, I am truly very confident in who

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I am, because I've embraced every little

aspect of what makes Amanda, amanda.

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But it wasn't always that way.

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It really wasn't y'all.

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So we're going to spill a tea about

all that today and how you can dare

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to be confident in your everyday life.

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Okay, so The daring to

be confident challenge.

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Let me tell you, I was not like,

we're just going to be open and

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transparent this entire time.

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I mean, that's what the whole point

of Dare to be Iconic is about, right?

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Being open and transparent

on the platform that I have.

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And I'm going to be honest, it was.

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30 days, right, of daring to

be confident and following

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the, the steps that I set out.

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Okay, I was not,

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I did not do all the steps continuously.

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Like, I did not commit all the

way through with all of the steps.

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There is one step in particular

that I only did for 11 days.

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I want to say 11 days?

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It definitely probably was 11 days,

but I, I'm going to be so for real,

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not all of the steps that I had in

the daring to be confident challenge.

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I completed throughout the 30 days.

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I stopped halfway through

because it got too much at times.

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Life was very, very hectic for me in

mid April to May, as you guys listened

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to the last podcast episode, you would

know that we dealt with a lot of anxiety

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and panic and stress in May, and daring

to be confident did help somewhat, but

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it got too much for this specific step.

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So let's talk about the step of writing

down three things you love about yourself

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and telling your iconic bestie about it.

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I had four girlfriends that I did this

challenge with to hold me accountable.

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And what I learned is that I think

I bit off too much than I can chew.

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I think I spread, spread myself a

little bit too thin with this challenge.

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Um, but specifically that step.

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It is not realistic for me

to write down three things I

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love about myself every day.

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I think I could have brought it back and

maybe done twice a week, once a week,

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so that I can build up my tolerance of

having that self reflection time because

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it's so important and it was very vital

at this part in my life while I was

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dealing with a lot of insecurities.

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But y'all, oh my God, I could not

commit to doing it all 30 days.

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Like I just, I just couldn't, like I,

I physically and mentally could not.

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So I think when I redo this challenge, I'm

going to be a little bit more realistic on

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the expectations that I set for myself and

you all, which is, you know, maybe combine

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that journaling with the gratitude of

the three things you love about yourself.

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Maybe do it once or twice a week.

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Like I realized when I didn't.

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Fully commit to it for all 30 days that

those three things I love about myself.

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I was getting really hard on myself

and going back into those perfectionist

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tendencies of, Oh my God, Amanda,

like you need to do X, Y, and Z.

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You need to be perfect at this.

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Girl, it's a 30 day challenge on how you

can better your confidence, how you can

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go on this boosting confidence journey so

within you can feel better about yourself.

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But I was so stuck in these old

patterns of wanting it to be perfect

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and wanting to do everything right.

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Here's the newsflash, you are challenging

yourself to look within and dig deep.

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So besides the commitment part, let's

talk about what I learned from writing

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out three things that I love about

myself and sharing it with my friends.

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So when my girlfriends and I

wrote down our three things,

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I was like, you know what?

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Let's challenge ourselves and let's

do two personality and one physical.

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Because I know for me, it was going

to be very difficult for me to say

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something that I was physically

comfortable with in my body.

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And then it was going to be easier for

me to write two personality things.

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And I was like, Oh, great.

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This is going to be perfect.

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And the more, as I was going through

it for those 11 days that I stayed

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consistent in it, at first, you

know, you do the surface level stuff.

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Oh, I love my eyes.

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Oh, I, I love my hair.

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I love that I'm really funny.

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I love how smart I am.

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Like, all these surface level

things that we already know

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that you love about yourself.

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But the more you do it, the more

specific you have to get, right?

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You have to dig deeper and

have that self reflection.

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So when I did these three

things that I love about myself

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and challenging myself to.

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Pick one physical trait because

I knew that would be the hardest.

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The more I got into it, the more I

was forced to look within and dig deep

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and to really truly think about Okay,

Amanda, what are some things that maybe

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you neglected that don't come to mind

right away that you actually do love

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about yourself or what are some things

that you want to love about yourself

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that you realize, Hey, like I, I kind

of dismissed that part of my body, or

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I kind of disassociate with this part

of my personality because X, Y, and Z.

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And the more I was able to challenge

myself with those specific prompts.

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The more I was able to be self aware

of some aspects of myself that I

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kind of neglected and Put to the back

burner and didn't give as much love

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to it's so much easier for me to say

the things that i'm like Oh, yeah.

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I know i'm funny.

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Oh, yeah.

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I know i'm smart.

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Oh, yeah.

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I know i'm bold Okay.

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Yeah, but give me something new.

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Give me something that

you're scared to talk about.

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And the more I got vulnerable with myself,

the more I was able to create connections

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and a deeper relationship with my besties,

because I was opening up to myself and

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then I was challenging myself to talk

about the stuff that's really scary to my

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besties, which was allowing me to create

some type of common thread even if they

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aren't able to fully relate to one aspect.

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So there is one part of me that

I'm always uncomfortable with.

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I am not the most

comfortable with my arms.

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I just don't Like how they look I've

tried everything I've tried doing the

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weights I've tried doing the pilates

for the strength training .But no

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matter what I do, my arms will always

be something i'm insecure about.

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It's probably one of my biggest

insecurities on my body apart from my

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eczema, But we are all pretty much aware

how my relationship with eczema is But

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the more I was able to dig deep as to

why I'm not as confident or comfortable

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with showing off my arms, I was able to

uncover some really interesting things

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that I honestly didn't even think about.

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And when I opened up to my friends about

it, I was able to create a common thread

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with them, whether it's, you know, they

can relate to that specific part like

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if they also are insecure about their

arms or allowed them to really think

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about something different on their body

or in their personality that, you know,

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brought up some emotions for them, and

being able to have that open and honest

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conversation with your friends and

just feeling like you're not alone on

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this journey of just trying to figure

out how to love yourself better and

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fully embrace every little thing about

yourself makes the journey less scary.

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Now, I know I say all the time that

the Dare to Be Iconic journey is

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not just an individual journey,

it is a collective journey.

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And one of my friends, Dani, which I

think was episode six I want to say

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it was six, but she basically said

that let your friends be your mirror.

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And I think that is so relevant to this

daring to be confident challenge because

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when we are daring to be ourselves, when

we are daring to be iconic and loving

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every little imperfection of ourselves,

we can get really hard on ourselves.

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I mean, that's just regular

human nature, right?

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We are always going to be our hardest

critics always, no matter what.

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And yes, we should give

ourselves more grace.

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Yes, we should be kinder to ourselves,

but that's a lot easier said than done.

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But being able to take in the words

of what Dani had told me, which is,

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let your friends be your mirror.

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I was able to apply that concept on this

journey when it came to having those

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hard conversations about things that I

don't like to talk about, which is the

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things that I'm insecure about on my body.

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Personality wise, we have

fully accepted who we are.

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But body wise, physically wise, there

will always be something on me that I

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will not be 100 percent confident with.

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But I need to start loving it.

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And I need to start realizing that

I'm not alone in this journey.

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No one, no one is perfect.

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Even the most perfect

person you can think of.

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And I know we all have those

people that we are thinking of.

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Oh my God.

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Like they're so perfect.

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I can name one person right now

that we probably all know who,

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who in my mind I am thinking of,

but like, they are not perfect.

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They don't love every single thing

about themselves, whether that's

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personality wise, like anything, right?

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But being able to think of let my friends

be that mirror in that moment, when

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I'm being vulnerable, when I'm opening

up to them about stuff that makes me

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feel not as confident and I am trying

to love myself, show so much about who

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you are as a person and it allows you

to really want to propel forward and be

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motivated In continuing out this journey.

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Being able to know that you are not alone

when you're figuring shit out- Probably

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the best feeling right because at times

it can feel so isolating when you're

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just trying to figure out life when

you're trying to figure out who you are.

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But being able to have people that

you trust and that you love and

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that you're able to have these

like really deep conversations

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with makes everything worthwhile.

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Furthermore, let's go to one of

the most important points of this

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challenge is going back to your why.

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Now, I've been very open and honest

about my, not my confidence struggles,

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but I would say my eczema struggles,

specifically in episode 4, The Secret

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to Living Your Most Iconic Life,

which I will link in the show notes

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below if you haven't listened to it.

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I do have to say, it's probably

one of my favorite episodes talking

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about that dare to be iconic mindset.

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Confidence is such a big factor of that

mindset, but going back into my why.

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Whenever you go on a transformative

self improvement journey like this

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one, even if it's just for 30 days and

you decided to dip your toe into the

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pool and like kind of see how it is.

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It is so important to go back

to your why because I think

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It's kind of like a fine line.

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Your tiptoeing sometimes when you're

talking about, or at least for me with

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my experience with my body, it can get to

an unhealthy obsession of wanting to look

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a certain way for X, Y, and Z purposes.

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Since I was a little girl, I've

always had body image issues.

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And I think it started in, I want

to say like second or third grade.

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And as we all know from my

social media, um, I love to show

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off certain parts of my body.

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I'm fully, I think, embraced every

aspect of how I look, but it wasn't.

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always like that.

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I'm still insecure about my arms as we

all know, but I'm always been insecure

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about my body shape, my body type.

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It's not what the traditional Hollywood

aesthetic would think is, um, accepting

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or, or pleasing to them, right?

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I will never be what Hollywood deems as

beautiful, or at least when I was growing

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up, because now we're a little bit more

accepting of different beauty types and

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shapes, and I think that's amazing, and

that's so beautiful, and that's so vital.

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But when I was younger, especially

in second and third grade, the body

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types that were being Glorified

did not look anything like mine and

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being in a performing background,

the smaller you were, the better.

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And for me, it was always this mental

and physical battle of trying to be

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what society deemed as beautiful.

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And it took a while to gain that

self esteem and that high self

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concept, which we're still struggling

with, but getting back to my why.

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I didn't want to go back to these

unhealthy habits that I had picked

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up when I was younger of trying to

attain a certain body image or look.

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I started seeing that within myself,

but I started seeing the thoughts pop

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back in, specifically when it went to

my eczema, I, as we all know, I am a

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perfectionist, and for anyone who's

a perfectionist, they'll know, like,

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it's so, so hard trying to break those

habits of wanting to just be perfect.

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On this daring to be iconic

journey for me, I know a big thing

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I say is be imperfectly iconic.

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It's so freeing when you do, but at

times it's very, very hard, especially

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from the background that I come in with

this, you know, perfectionist tendencies.

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I want everything to be X,

Y, and Z perfect to a T.

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And while we're trying that, I noticed

that when my eczema, having the

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worst flare up I've ever had at the

inning of this year, January,: 2024

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It's been seven years since I've ever

experienced a flare up like that.

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But I just didn't know what was

going on with my body and my legs.

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Cause it was on my legs.

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It was like, it was the worst flare

up I've ever experienced in my life.

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But seeing my body change overnight and

seeing these big red spots on my legs

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and just feeling so ugly and so down

on myself on how I looked and something

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that I couldn't control, right, because

eczema is something that you cannot cure.

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It's something that you have no control

over and someone who loves to have

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control over everything, it is so hard.

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It was the hardest mental battle

and physical battle I've ever had

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was at the beginning of this year.

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Dealing with my skin, in my

mind, basically betraying me.

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Because it was like overnight,

my legs just changed.

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I didn't Recognize what I was looking

at in the mirror and all the thoughts

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that I had about myself were not nice

thoughts at all, And I'm not proud

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of the things I thought about myself.

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I don't wish it upon anyone.

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It was really hard and I was like,

how do I get out of this hole?

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How do I dig myself out and like the more

I was talking to my girlfriends about it.

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The more, You know, they were able to

open up to me on like things that they

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were insecure about on their body,

like even if they couldn't relate to

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eczema, there were other things for them

physically that they were dealing with.

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And I was like, how can we all

combat these insecurities together?

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How can we become more

confident in who we are?

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And that's how the daring to be confident

challenge was birthed basically,

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was because I I, one, didn't want

to go back to that perpetuous cycle

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of negative thoughts about myself.

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I wanted to break it right then and there.

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Two, I realized that there was really

a problem that we needed a solution to.

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And if we all are feeling this insecure

and uncomfortable in our skins, in

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our skin, how can we collectively

go on a journey to love ourselves?

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Because that's what my

whole platform is about.

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How can we do better?

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And how can we perpetuate

a feeling of positivity and

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happiness and Comfortability

in our bodies together, right?

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also I don't like doing things alone

when it comes to challenges I feel

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like i'm more Motivated when i'm with

someone that I know and love right?

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That was my why.

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My why is I wanted to better myself

and I I saw a problem that wasn't being

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Fixed and I was like, you know what?

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You I've used my voice this

far in life on my platform.

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Why not continue it with the challenge

and why not see how's it, how it goes?

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And that's, that was my why.

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And that's why we started the

daring to be confident challenge.

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And I think it's turned out pretty well.

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I think it was pretty successful.

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Overall, I definitely noticed some

things, such as the one I mentioned

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before, like that was the biggest lesson.

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. Making sure I don't spread myself

too thin, that I'm a little bit

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more realistic in things that I

expect, you know, to do for 30 days.

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And self reflection was so important

because it brought up emotions

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in myself and memories that I

disassociated with and kind of forgot.

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So even though I wasn't continuous in

that one specific step, because all the

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other steps on, all the other steps in

this challenge honestly were a breeze.

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It was so, so easy.

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: 00:20:06

But writing the three things I

loved about myself was the most

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challenging part of this challenge.

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And it really opened my eyes to things

that I can work on and do better.

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It really allowed me to see

myself in a different light.

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And I definitely think, coming out of

it, that I've not only learned a lot

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about myself, but I'm more confident.

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And I realize that when I have negative

thoughts about, oh, I don't look cute in

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this photo, I hate that angle of myself,

why do I look this way, or Oh my god,

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Amanda, like, you are literally too much.

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Like, cause I have this fear of being

too much for people sometimes, you know?

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But, I'm imperfectly iconic.

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: 00:20:46

But, you know, like, that specific

step in this challenge truly allowed

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me to have the self reflection that

I think I neglected for a while.

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Because when I journal, I love a good

prompt, and I love just writing what's

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on my mind, and I have a gratitude

journal with a manifestation journal

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that I also do, and we will talk about

that in the next episode, I promise you.

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We will not, not forget to talk

about manifestation delusion.

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But, journaling, at the end of the

day, Sometimes I may skirt around

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the deeper and harder conversations

that I need to have with myself.

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And by forcing myself to really look

within and go beneath the surface level,

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it opened my eyes to a lot of things

that I was neglecting within myself.

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And it made me feel better.

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Realize a lot about who I am

and what I can handle and what I

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need to pour more love back into.

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: 00:21:47

I think that specific step is

something that I will take with

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me for the rest of my life.

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: 00:21:51

Because it's going to force me to think

deeper about who I am and who would

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I be if I keep telling you guys, dare

to be, you, dare to be iconic, if I

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don't continue on in this journey of

self improvement and self reflection.

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: 00:22:08

Because like I've said multiple

times before, like I am not perfect.

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I am imperfectly iconic and I own all

my failures and I own all my triumphs

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: 00:22:17

and I own all the little in between

moments of my life and I share them

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: 00:22:22

here so that we can all learn from them

because there are universal lessons.

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: 00:22:26

And I think the universal lesson

with confidence is that you have to

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have self reflection, even when it's

sticky and icky and it's the stuff

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that you don't want to talk about.

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: 00:22:39

Right there in the ugly, in the

hard parts, is where you are going

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: 00:22:43

to learn the most about yourself.

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: 00:22:45

And that's where your

confidence skyrockets.

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: 00:22:48

The easy and the fun parts, oh

my god, of course, that's The

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most amazing parts of life.

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: 00:22:53

But when you think about it.

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The hard shit is when you

learn the most about yourself.

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: 00:22:58

It always is when you

go through struggles.

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: 00:23:01

That's why turning your pain into power

is one of the biggest Like lessons

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: 00:23:06

that I love to talk about because it's

really in those hard times Where you

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can turn it into a source of strength

is where you learn what you are

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capable of and I think that's the same

concept when it comes to confidence.

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It's when you take the time to have

those hard conversations with yourself.

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It's when you talk about the stuff

that's not surface level, and you dig

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: 00:23:26

down deep, and you really find out who

you are, and you start embracing it.

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: 00:23:31

Because the whole point of daring

to be yourself, daring to be iconic

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: 00:23:35

is loving every little part of

yourself, the good, the bad, the

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: 00:23:40

ugly, and everything in between and

that's the secret to confidence.

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: 00:23:44

The secret to confidence is being able to

talk about the hard shit, to look within,

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: 00:23:51

and challenge yourself to start loving it.

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: 00:23:54

It's easy for us to love the

good parts about us, right?

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: 00:23:58

The good, shiny parts that we

put on display on social media.

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: 00:24:02

But those hard parts that we either

hide behind a mask or we push that down.

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: 00:24:08

When we face it, that's when we

learn the most about ourselves.

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: 00:24:11

That's when we dare to be iconic.

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: 00:24:13

That's when we dare to be confident.

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: 00:24:15

That's when you dare to be yourself.

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: 00:24:17

And that is your Tea Time

Sesh for today, Radiant Icons.

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: 00:24:20

I hope you enjoyed this episode

rerun of Daring to be Confident.

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: 00:24:24

If you liked today's episode, make sure

to subscribe, to leave a review, to leave

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: 00:24:28

a rating, to share it with your friends.

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: 00:24:31

You know, all that good stuff.

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: 00:24:32

stuff because what?

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: 00:24:33

We love more radiant icons in our

iconic community of ours, period.

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: 00:24:39

Okay, you guys, but like seriously,

I hope you enjoyed this episode.

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: 00:24:43

Don't worry.

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: 00:24:43

Next week we are coming back

with a brand new episode.

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: 00:24:47

It's a solo episode.

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: 00:24:48

We're talking about burnout

tips and being thankful and

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: 00:24:51

gratitude because here in the U.

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: 00:24:53

S.

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: 00:24:53

it's Thanksgiving week.

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: 00:24:54

So we're going to share

a little bit of that.

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: 00:24:57

But anyway, make sure to connect with me

on socials, you guys, for all the behind

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: 00:25:01

the scenes action of Dare to Be Iconic.

384

: 00:25:04

And make sure to grab your copy of

New Year Iconic You, the: 2025

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: 00:25:09

to living your most iconic life.

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: 00:25:12

And if you do follow me on

socials, well, there's gonna be

387

: 00:25:16

a Black Friday sale for everyone.

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: 00:25:17

It doesn't matter if you're in the U.

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: 00:25:19

S.

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: 00:25:19

or not.

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: 00:25:20

So, make sure to stay tuned.

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: 00:25:22

Anyway, I will see you guys next week.

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: 00:25:24

Remember, radiant icons dare to be iconic.

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: 00:25:27

Bye!