You're Not Late, You're Becoming: Why You Are Exactly Where You Are Meant To Be

Amanda Paolicelli: 00:00:03

What's up, radiant icons and welcome back to Dare To Be

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Iconic, the podcast made for icons

who are daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli,

and for today's tea time sesh, we

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are spilling the tea on why you are

exactly where you are meant to be

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because you are not late radiant icon.

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No, no, no, no.

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You are becoming today's Tea Time sesh

is all about that pressure of falling

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behind, whether that's in love, in

success, career, healing, whatever it

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is, we are diving into that pressure.

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We are dissecting it, and we are learning

how to trust that our timing is divine.

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It is not delayed.

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But before we get into all of that piping

hot tea, make sure to connect with me

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on socials on Instagram and TikTok.

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It's @amandapaolicelli_ and

@daretobeiconic_ And if you're

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on LinkedIn, radiant icons.

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You already know what I'm gonna say

because I love me some LinkedIn, make

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sure to connect with me on there.

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It's Amanda Paolicelli.

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All of my socials will be

linked in the show notes below.

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And also radiant icons.

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While you're in the show notes

connecting with me on socials, make

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sure to check out our two years,

one Iconic celebration order form.

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As you know, Dare To Be Iconic, just

celebrated it's second birthday, and as we

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go into year three, we need to celebrate.

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So we're celebrating all month long

here at Dare To Be Iconic 'cause you

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know, we love an iconic celebration

and while we are having an exclusive

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sale that you could only findat Dare

To Be Iconic, and all the information

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regarding that exclusive sale, which

is a merch piece of your choosing

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from the Radiant Reign Collection and

our breakup journal, they are paired

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together for an exclusive bundle price.

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You can find all that information

in the show notes below for our

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Two Years, One Iconic celebration.

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Now that we have done our housekeeping

here at Dare To Be Iconic,

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let's get to the tea, shall we?

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Let's spill some piping hot tea on

why you are exactly where you are

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meant to be, because you are not late.

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You are what you are

becoming radiant icon.

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So are you ready for your tea time

sesh because it's starting now.

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So I'm gonna shake things up a

little bit for this tea time sesh.

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I mean, why not?

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It's a new season, it's a new

energy and well, it's just iconic.

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But anyway, as we dive into this

tea time sesh, right, and dissect

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that feeling of falling behind

in whatever area of life it is.

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I challenge you to think of this prompt.

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When was the last time you

told yourself you were behind?

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And what did you feel like

you should have already done?

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And when I think of this prompt,

radiant icons, I think of a couple

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months ago, actually, not even a couple

months ago, a month ago, exactly, on a

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random Wednesday night getting drinks,

one of my really good girlfriends.

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And that was the last time I

told myself that I was behind.

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Now what did I feel like I

should have already done by then?

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Well.

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It's not gonna be a shocker here that I'm

gonna say this, but, oh well, here we go.

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Here goes nothing.

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I feel like I'm behind in

love, the honest truth.

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I'm 26 years old, I'll be 27 on December

19th of this year, and I've never been

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in love and I think, or I feel like I

should have already done that already.

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I should have already been in love by now.

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I feel behind in the love department.

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For me, that's a big insecurity that I

am battling and that I am dealing with

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'cause I look around even when I was

in my previous relationship, right?

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I would look around at all my girlfriends

and they would have experiences

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in dating or in love in general.

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And I don't have that.

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When I was dating my past partner, right?

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Everything was very new for me.

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There were a lot of new

feelings coming up, and there

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were a lot of new experiences.

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Everything was just new, right?

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Because I was so inexperienced

in the dating department.

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And when I came out of that relationship,

heartbreak was the only thing that was

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familiar to me if I'm being honest.

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Because if there's one thing that

I know I can confidently do in

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life is turn my pain into power.

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And heartbreak was a comfortable feeling

for me, if I'm being honest, because

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I've already dealt with that before.

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I already knew what to expect,

but this other feeling outside of

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heartbreak, this this feeling of

just looking around and being like,

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oh my God, did I miss my moment?

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Did I miss my moment to fall in love

because I was too scared to do it

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after the letter in the box right?

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I was too scared to put myself out

there romantically and get hurt again.

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That's why I waited three years.

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And then when I finally did

it and I was like, you know

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what, I'm just gonna go for it.

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I'm just gonna put my heart on the line

and then have it blow up in my face.

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I was like, oh wow.

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I really am behind in this department

'cause I don't know what to expect.

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I don't know what to do when these things

come up, and I know a lot of people say,

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oh, relationships are so unique and you

have to figure them out and this and that.

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Like everyone's different.

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I get that.

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I understand that.

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However, that doesn't negate

the feeling that I still feel

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like I'm falling behind in love.

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I am 26 years old and

I've never been in love.

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I've never had a happy, truly happy

experience with this concept of love.

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All I've ever had is pain.

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All I've ever had is brokenness.

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All I've ever had is just shit.

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If I'm being honest, I have been

so unlucky in romantic love.

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I am so lucky in platonic love

and familial love and like maybe

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that's enough, but part of me

still thinks like, damn, Amanda,

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you really don't know what

the hell you're doing.

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You, you really are behind in this,

this concept of what love is and

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how to experience it and all these

other things that are mixed up in it.

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And so when I think back of

that prompt, radiant icons.

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For me, that's what I struggle with.

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For me, that's what I think

of, oh, I should have already

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been in love by now, right?

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I should have already had those

experiences, but I don't, and then I go

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deeper into the, oh, well, shit, did I

miss my moment because I was too scared?

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I was too scared to get hurt again.

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I closed myself off to the

possibility of falling in love.

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That's why I waited three years

and didn't do anything about it.

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And then for this breakup to

happen, I just feel like an

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idiot and it puts me back to that

place of, holy shit, I really.

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I really am just behind.

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I look around at everyone, whether

it's on social media or one of my,

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you know, not even one of my, a lot

of my friends are in happy, healthy

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relationships, and I keep thinking,

huh, when is it gonna be my turn?

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When is it gonna be my turn?

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Because I have the career.

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I have the career that I want.

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I have the success that

I've only dreamed of, right?

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It's my reality now.

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But love.

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For me, that's the pressure where

I feel like, oh my God, I am behind

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and I have to remind myself that

everyone's timeline is different.

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We could be on the same chapter, right?

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We can both be on chapter 26 of our lives,

but my chapter 26 and your chapter 26

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are going to look completely different

because we both are on completely

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different paths on where we are supposed

to be at to become the versions of

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ourselves that we are meant to be.

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And so when I think of, oh, I should

have been there already, or, oh, I should

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have done that, or, oh, I should have

done, like, all those little things that

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love to tell me that, oh, you, you just

aren't, you just, you're just not there.

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You're just not there, Amanda, when all

those voices come flooding in, right?

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I have to remind myself that

all of our timelines are going

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to look completely different.

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And every detour in life is leading us

to exactly where we are meant to be.

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And sometimes, yeah, it does feel like,

oh, I'm a little bit late to the party.

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Why I did.

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No one tell me It's started at

nine o'clock and I'm here at 11.

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Right?

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Why do I feel like I'm late?

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But the truth is.

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You're not, you are not late.

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You just aren't supposed to be

experiencing that emotion, that

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feeling, or that experience, right?

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That adventure at that point in your life.

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For me, in chapter 26 of my life, I

was not meant to be in a relationship.

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I mean, clearly, right?

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Because it ended.

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And I also think this, when

things are not meant to be in your

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life and you're in them, right?

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So case in point, my prior relationship,

I thought, oh, this is the perfect time

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for me to be in a relationship, right?

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And I tried my all and well

things didn't work out.

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I mean, we all know they

didn't work out, right?

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I mean, we have a whole

new era because of it.

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But that was the universe telling me

that this relationship is not where

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you're supposed to be in your life.

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It's not supposed to be

in your path right now.

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So we're gonna create a detour, right?

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We're gonna have you break up.

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We're gonna have that relationship

no longer exists so that you can get

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back on the path of where you were

supposed to be so you can become the

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Amanda that you are supposed to become.

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The universe is going to figure out ways

to literally break, take away, rip away

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from you, however you wanna phrase it.

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What is not supposed to be in your path

or in your life for that specific chapter?

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That's why you're gonna feel friction

and you're gonna feel resistance

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when it doesn't feel right,

because it's not meant for you.

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And that's also a tough pill to

swallow because like, damn, I

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thought it was the right thing.

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Right?

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That's why I made the decision

to have him be my boyfriend.

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That's why I made the decision to be in

that relationship with him, because I

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thought for myself that was the right

thing to do for this chapter of my life.

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But the universe had other plans

for me and said, hell no, girl

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we're getting you out of it.

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And that's why we broke up.

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I mean, there was a lot of other

reasons why we broke up, as we all

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know from the previous episodes.

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But that was the universe telling me

that this relationship is not meant to be

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in my path or in my life, especially in

this chapter, in this chapter of my life.

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I had to take the detour of going on

that relationship and get broken up

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with to then become this Amanda that

is free, that is liberated, that is

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empowered, that is finding joy and

giving herself permission to live.

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Because I would've never gotten to

this amanda, that you are hearing

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right now or for if you're on YouTube.

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Hello.

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Hi.

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How are you?

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That you and the Amanda that you are

seeing right here on your screen.

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That Amanda would not be existent if

I didn't go into that relationship

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and have that detour happen to realign

me to where I'm supposed to go.

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And that's the exact same

thing I'm gonna tell you guys.

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Even when we feel behind, even when we

feel like, oh, we missed our moment,

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and even when we're in the things that

we think are right, the universe knows

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exactly where we are meant to be.

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And if it is not meant for you, it's

gonna make sure you are not in it.

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Right?

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And then going back to the, oh, I feel

like I should be X, y, and z, la la, la.

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I challenge you to do this when you

are feeling behind radiant icons.

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Because I have started doing it

and it has been so beneficial.

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I challenge you to think of this.

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How can you hold gratitude for the

season of life that you are in, even

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if it's not the one you imagined?

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I never thought at 26 years old, I

would've gotten into my first relationship

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after being single for so long, and then

for it to only end within a three month

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period, and then after that have this

rebirth of who I am now, I would've never

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imagined that the version of Amanda that

I am today would've happened because I was

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in a relationship and got broken up with.

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I would've never imagined that.

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If you would've told me January of

: 2025

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you're gonna get into a relationship

and it's only gonna last three months

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and you're gonna break up, and then

you're gonna create a whole new era.

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I would've been like, huh?

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I would've been like, what?

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I've been like, please

don't give that to me.

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I said, universe, do not give that to me.

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Give that to someone else.

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Right.

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I, I would've said that.

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But, but I need to learn how

to accept the gratitude for the

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season that I'm in right now.

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And the truth is, I am in the

heartbreak, rebuilding myself

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stage or season of my life.

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I need to hold gratitude for that

and understand that falling in love,

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or even the idea of being in love

with someone else, that romantic

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love is not meant for me right now.

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Because I'm supposed to be on this

path of truly learning who Amanda is

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in this new era of freedom, in this

new era where she's giving herself

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permission to live her life, I cannot

do thatwith someone attached to me.

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Right?

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I can't do that with a partner.

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I, I just can't, I don't

think that's in my DNA.

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I think I have to be

independent right now.

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I have to learn or enjoy, right?

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How to be in my own presence again.

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Going back to the season three premiere

radiant icons, just last week Solo, Not

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Lonely: How To Be Your Own Best Friend.

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I have to learn how to be my own

best friend in this stage of life

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because I've never done that before.

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That is the season that I'm in, and

that is the gratitude that I'm holding.

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I am learning and enjoying

how to be in my own presence.

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I'm learning how solitude truly

can be empowering, and I'm

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learning that love right now.

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Romantic love is just not in the

cards for me and that is okay.

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Maybe I'm meant to just talk to a couple

of guys, have a little roster of fans

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and just learn what I do and don't

like, because before my ex-boyfriend.

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I never dated.

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I didn't know what the hell I wanted,

you know, and I, I talked to him.

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I thought, oh, he's a great guy,

like this and that, blah, blah, blah.

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And then we got into a relationship.

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Maybe, maybe I'm in this stage of my

life, the season of my life, to now

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do what I didn't do before I went

into that relationship and truly learn

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what I want and what I need, because

I just went through that, right?

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I just went through a relationship where I

learned a lot about myself and thank you.

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Good riddance are outta my life.

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But now.

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Now I can take that and build

on this list while I get to know

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other people, while also getting

to know myself and my independence.

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Maybe that's what I hold gratitude for and

maybe that's the realization I'm having

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right here, right now on this mic yapping

to you all about my life, maybe that's it.

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And I think it is.

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And so I challenge you when you

have this this overwhelming feeling

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that you are behind in life, and

that, oh, maybe I missed my moment.

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There is no such thing as feeling

as if you missed your moment,

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because every moment in your life

is detailed perfectly to you on the

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timeline that you are meant to be on.

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There is no such thing as falling behind

because you are never falling behind

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on the path that is meant for you.

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You are never late to

the party of your life.

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You just aren't.

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Okay?

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You're the party point blank period.

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So I challenge you radiant icons to think

of the gratitude in these in-between

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stages of life that are messy, that are

weird, and you know what or necessary,

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because it's the in-between, in the

becoming stages of who we are meant

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to be that are the most powerful.

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So lean into it and be grateful.

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Find what you are grateful for in

the season of your life, even if

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it is not one that you imagined.

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And I also wanna mention radiant icons

that becoming isn't perfect, right?

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Becoming isn't glamorous.

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In fact, it's the exact opposite.

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It's messy and it's chaos, and

it's those often unseen moments.

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You are actively figuring out

who you are meant to become.

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And that shit isn't pretty.

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That shit honestly is mostly dark and

heavy and emotional, and there's gonna

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be tears and you know, there's gonna be

times where you choose to start again.

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And there's gonna be times where,

you know what, maybe it is happy.

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Maybe there are some

rainbow and sunshines.

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But you know what?

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It's not always like that.

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It's really not.

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In this stage of becoming, for me

personally, I can tell you firsthand

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I have cried so much, and I know it

probably doesn't seem like it when I'm

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on this podcast yapping about my life

or maybe through my social content.

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And you know, I take great pride in

finding a silver lining and a lesson

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in every every aspect of my life.

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I take immense pride in that.

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And you know, the way I've been

able to work on my mindset to think

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in a positive manner, however.

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I have been struggling.

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I am very, very hurt, but I know

I have to feel every emotion,

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especially the not so pretty ones.

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I have to allow myself to feel it in

order to become who I am meant to be, and

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well, if I just have to cry every single

day like I have been, well then so be it.

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That's what I have to do.

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That's what I have to do in order to

become the Amanda, that I am meant to

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become radiant icons, and I don't want

you to feel like that's like wrong or

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like shameful or embarrassing because

honestly, for a while, while I've been

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figuring out you know, this, this new era

of my life, there have been times where

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I feel embarrassed and I feel shameful

for these feelings of falling behind and

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maybe not, you know, living up to these

certain timelines or milestones that

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society has set upon us, especially women.

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'cause you know, women,

we always, you know.

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They always want us to have babies and

get married early on, and especially

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if you're in a Hispanic household,

then you know what I'm talking about.

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Okay.

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You, you already know I'm

half Cuban, half Italian.

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You already know that my mom

wants me to have babies and get

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married, and she wanted me to have

that like, like three years ago.

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Three years ago, radiant icons.

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I mean, she's still, she's still asking.

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: 00:19:26

But anyway, the point is, right, it's,

it's those, those pressures right

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: 00:19:31

to adhere to the timelines and the

societal pressures that are put upon us,

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especially as women like and sometimes.

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They're just not meant for you.

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: 00:19:40

And I just don't think that, not as, I

don't think I know that I'm not meant

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to get married anytime soon, and I'm

not meant to have children anytime soon.

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: 00:19:48

I don't even know if I want children.

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And you know what?

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That's okay, but society's gonna

tell me no, that's not okay.

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: 00:19:52

You should be a mom.

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I don't think so.

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I don't think that's meant for me

in my path, at least right now.

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I don't think it's meant for me.

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Right?

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And that's okay.

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: 00:20:02

It's okay to not know.

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: 00:20:04

It's okay to be emotional.

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: 00:20:07

It's okay to experience these emotions

of shame and embarrassment and like,

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: 00:20:13

oh my God, like just being lost.

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: 00:20:16

Like, it's okay.

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: 00:20:17

This process of becoming is messy.

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: 00:20:21

It's not glamorous and it's okay.

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: 00:20:24

And I challenge you to remind

yourself of this when you're in

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: 00:20:29

the thick of this becoming right,

I challenge you to remember that

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you are not late radiant icon.

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: 00:20:36

You are layered and you

still are unfolding.

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: 00:20:40

All right, radiant icons I told you I

was shaking things up here today on Dare

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To Be Iconic for our Tea Times sesh and

instead of doing our beloved hotline,

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don't worry, you'll be here next week.

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This week I decided to bring back one of

the favorites 'cause you guys ate this up

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: 00:20:57

especially if you were in my Daring To Be

Confident Masterclass, then you already

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know what I'm talking about most likely.

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It is a guided meditation

because I am a firm believer that

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visualization and manifestation are

some of the most powerful tools.

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: 00:21:14

And while you're in this.

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Stage of becoming and letting

go of that pressure or that

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: 00:21:20

feeling of falling behind.

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: 00:21:22

You need to learn how to trust your voice.

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: 00:21:24

And the best way to do

that is to visualize it.

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: 00:21:27

You need to visualize

how to trust your voice.

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: 00:21:31

So get comfy.

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: 00:21:34

Close your eyes.

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If you are driving and walking,

do not close your eyes.

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Just get comfy.

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Get into the mood.

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'cause we're doing a guided

meditation in three, two.

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: 00:21:45

One.

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: 00:21:45

Take a deep breath in.

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: 00:21:47

Feel yourself soften into the

truth that you are not behind.

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: 00:21:53

Picture your journey as a timeline, but

instead of a straight line, it's a spiral.

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: 00:22:01

You keep returning to lessons,

but each time at a higher level,

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: 00:22:06

say to yourself, I am not late.

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: 00:22:10

I am becoming.

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: 00:22:12

Every pause is preparation.

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: 00:22:17

I am exactly where I am meant to be.

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: 00:22:22

Inhale, faith, exhale, comparison.

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: 00:22:29

Let your heart whisper: my

timing is my protection.

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: 00:22:34

When you're ready, come

back to this moment.

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: 00:22:38

Grounded.

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: 00:22:39

Grateful.

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: 00:22:40

Becoming.

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: 00:22:41

Okay, radiant icons.

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: 00:22:42

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

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: 00:22:44

As you know, we are in our radiant

reign era and for me in this era, I have

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: 00:22:49

been finding little things that make me

feel powerful, that make me feel sexy,

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: 00:22:56

that make me feel unapologetically me.

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: 00:22:59

And one of those is my

iconic signature scent.

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: 00:23:02

I have crafted mine with Oakcha,

I do sinful layered with that girl

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: 00:23:08

vanilla, and it is delectable.

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: 00:23:09

It is sinful and it is sexy if I

say so myself . Every spritz just

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: 00:23:16

feels like confidence bottled up.

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: 00:23:19

It is my reminder that I am evolving

for myself, not anyone's dusty ass son.

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: 00:23:25

And you can have that too, radiant icons.

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: 00:23:28

Make sure to build your own

fragrance through Oakcha.

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: 00:23:32

Use the discount code linked in the show

notes below to save yourself some cash,

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: 00:23:37

because icons do not follow trends.

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: 00:23:40

We set the standard.

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: 00:23:41

All right, radiant icons.

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: 00:23:43

That is your tea time session for today.

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: 00:23:45

If you enjoy today's episode, make

sure to subscribe, to leave a rating, a

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: 00:23:50

review, to tell your friends about us,

to tell everyone and anyone, because

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: 00:23:54

you know, we love more radiant icons

and now we're iconic community of ours.

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: 00:23:58

I will never get tired of

saying that Radiance icons.

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: 00:24:01

But anyway, let's chat about next week's

tea time sesh, because I know I am excited

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: 00:24:07

and I know my interns are excited, which

means you all my lovely, lovely, lovely

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: 00:24:13

radiant icons will also be excited.

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: 00:24:16

So, as I mentioned, um, maybe a

little bit earlier on in today's tea

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: 00:24:20

time sesh that I may have a little

roster of fans who just like, love

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: 00:24:24

and adore me, you know, when they.

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: 00:24:27

All these men are just in love with me.

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: 00:24:29

They're like, oh, you so obsessed with me.

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: 00:24:32

That's the truth.

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: 00:24:33

Because as soon as I became single, I

had men flying out the woodwork telling

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: 00:24:36

me they loved me and well, that's

what we're chatting about next week.

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: 00:24:40

We are spilling the tea on dating

dilemmas and why I am so over crushing

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: 00:24:46

on potential because Kesha, she loves

to fall in love with a red flag.

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: 00:24:51

And you know what?

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: 00:24:53

I love crushing over potential and

I think that's my personal red flag.

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: 00:24:56

So next week is gonna be a fun one.

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: 00:25:00

I'll talk to you guys next next week then.

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: 00:25:02

I can't wait.

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: 00:25:03

I truly can't wait.

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: 00:25:04

Y'all, it's gonna be so good.

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: 00:25:05

You guys are gonna be fed and well

welcome to my life Alright radiant icons.

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: 00:25:12

I'll chat with y'all next week.

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: 00:25:14

Remember, dare to be iconic.

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: 00:25:16

Bye.