Heels, Icks, & Hot Takes: The DTBI Hotline Edition

Amanda Paolicelli: 00:00:05

What's up, radiant icons and welcome back to Dare To Be

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Iconic, the podcast made for icons

who are daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host Amanda Paolicelli.

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And for today's tea time sesh we

are spilling the tea on everything

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and anything 'cause that's

right, it's DTBI hotline time.

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And you know, we love the

DTBI hotline over here.

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We love it so much that

y'all flooded the questions.

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Okay.

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I have not looked at these whatsoever.

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I had my interns sort through them

and pick the questions that I will be

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answering live for today's tea time

sesh and, um, they had too much fun with

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this assignment, but before we spill all

that piping hot tea, because I already

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know it's gonna be piping hot, make sure

to connect with me on socials, radiant

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icons, on Instagram and TikTok: it's

@amandapaolicelli_ and @daretobeiconic_.

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And if you're on LinkedIn, radiant icons,

you already know what I'm gonna say.

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Make sure to connect with me on there.

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It's Amanda Paolicelli.

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All of my socials are linked

in the show notes below.

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And speaking of the show

notes, radiant icons.

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Make sure to check out Dare

To Be Iconic's: Two Years, One

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: 00:01:18

Iconic celebration sale that

you cannot find anywhere else.

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: 00:01:23

This exclusive sale includes one piece

from the Radiant Reign Merch collection

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: 00:01:29

of your choosing and the Breakup With

The Past, Fall In Love With The Future

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Journal for an exclusive bundle price

that again, you cannot find anywhere else.

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You cannot find that

on the DTBI Etsy Shop.

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You can only find it in the order form

that is linked in the show notes below

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and on the Dare To Be Iconic website.

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So make sure to check out that sale

and connect with me on socials.

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All right, radiant icons.

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Enough chit-chatting.

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Let's get to the piping hot tea.

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I am a little bit nervous for these

questions, but let's do it, shall we?

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Are you ready?

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Radiant icons, because your

tea time sesh is starting now.

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You guys are diabolical.

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This question is insane.

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Okay,

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Amanda, I love the

dating dilemmas episode.

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So, who would you French Kiss, Mary,

Kill: Italian boy, ATL Boy, or Mr.

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Canada

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for the ratings icons who have

not listened to the dating

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dilemma, crushing on potential.

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I beg of you to stop this episode, go to

that episode and then come back 'cause

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then this question will make sense to you.

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But to answer your question,

this is absolutely insane.

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I can't believe I'm doing this.

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Um, okay.

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I would kill Italian boy because

he doesn't respect boundaries

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and we don't have time for that.

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As we mentioned in last

week's tea time sesh.

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I would not French kiss any of my options.

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They don't deserve the opportunity

to kiss me because again,

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kissing me is a privilege.

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Um, and then if I had to marry someone,

like, literally like twisting my arm had

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to marry someone out of these options.

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The best, I can't believe I'm saying

this, the best option would be Mr.

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Canada.

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And the reason why I say

that I will marry Mr.

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Canada is because I could deal with

the potential of him in this scenario.

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In this scenario, I can deal with

the potential of him because what was

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attractive to me when it came to Mr.

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Canada was his actions and

how he consistently showed up.

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So I think out of the three

options, that's something that I'm

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attracted to and, and would want in

a partner that's for life, right?

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So yeah, I, I would marry Mr.

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Canada even though I was falling

for the potential of him.

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But you know, he does get some points

for consistency for the in-person

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portion, not for when he left me

on read, but yeah, he would win.

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He would win that round.

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Oh, I love this.

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Next question, Amanda, do you

have any quotes that you repeat

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to yourself often that helps you

continue working for your dreams?

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Actually have two quotes that come to

mind when I think of this question.

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They actually come from my vision board.

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And the first one is she needed

a hero so that's what she became.

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And the second one is, I gotta pull

my phone close to my face real quick.

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I can't see without my glasses.

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I'm getting old.

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Y'all, um, was, I was born with

something inside of me that

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refuses to settle for average.

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I don't know what it is,

but I am grateful I have it.

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And when I think of those two

quotes, it propels me forward in my

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entrepreneurial journey because running

a business, owning a business, however

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you wanna phrase it, is no joke.

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It is ridiculously hard to keep going

at times because sometimes things don't

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pave out the way that you imagine them

to or projected them too, and that can be

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discouraging, that can be overwhelming.

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And well, there's a lot of

risk in business, right?

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And I knew that going in, and even though

I knew that going in at times, it's

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still, it still is a little bit daunting.

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And being so incredibly young on this

journey of creating something that

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really has never been done before.

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There is nothing like Dare

To Be Iconic out there.

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And I am so proud of that.

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But that also means there's no

blueprint for me to look up to, right?

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I, I am creating that.

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I am opening doors for someone else,

and I take great pride in that.

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But it gets hard.

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It gets hard to keep moving forward.

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And those two quotes remind me of my why.

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I started Dare To Be iconic.

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For the Amanda who was heartbroken three

years ago that had no idea who she was.

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I started Dare To Be Iconic for a

little baby Amanda, who got bullied

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severely for having big dreams.

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I created the space that little

baby Amanda would've wanted

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that would've dreamed of.

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You know, like I just always think of

younger me and that quote of she became

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the hero, let me get it right, is she

needed a hero, so that's what she became.

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I became the hero that younger Amanda

needed and that that makes everything

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worthwhile, and that helps me and propels

me forward in continuing to make dare to

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be iconic, the best business it can be.

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When I think of the second quote,

"I was born with something inside me

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that refuses to settle for average."

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Yeah, no, that's absolutely accurate.

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I am a very ambitious woman.

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That's, that's not a secret to anyone.

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And you know, when I get down in

the dumps, I have to remind myself

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that my ambition is one of the most

amazing qualities about myself,

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and I just need to keep on pushing

forward because I know that I can

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do anything that I put my mind to.

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So those two quotes really motivate me

and challenge me, and I hope that when

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you listen to those quotes that it pushes

you and motivates you as well to keep on

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going and pursuing your dreams because you

can do anything that you put your mind to.

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I know it sounds so damn cheesy,

but honestly, it's so damn true.

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Create the opportunities for yourself

and keep pushing forward even when the

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world tells you no, be the person that

the younger you would've wanted, right?

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Create the space that you would've

needed to thrive when you were younger.

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Do that no matter what anyone

else says, even when it gets hard.

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And those two quotes, remind me of that.

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What's one thing that makes

you feel instantly iconic?

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The one thing that makes me feel

instantly iconic is press on nails.

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Now, I know that may sound a

little bit like, mm, Amanda.

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Like, what?

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But hear me out- in this new era

for myself, this radiant reign

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era, I have been putting a lot

more time into my physical being.

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Whether that's movement that makes

me feel good in my physical self, or

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it's putting more time in my physical

appearance and feeling good in my skin.

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So experimenting with things like

press on nails and like a lip combo

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and a scent, or like doing movement

and trying out different outfits and

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seeing what my style is, like, those

things make me feel instantly iconic.

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But the one thing out of all of them will

always be press on nails because when

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I have a pair of press on nails on, I

feel like the baddest version of myself.

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I feel like the most iconic

version of myself 'cause I

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just carry myself differently.

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I feel so put together.

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When I don't have my pressed on nails,

I'm biting my cuticles, I'm like a mess.

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So no, I need my press on nails.

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I know my nails are bare right

now, but my press on nails

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make me feel iconic instantly.

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What can I say?

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You know, taking the time for

my physical self and my physical

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being has been so important.

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And yeah, press on nails

are a big part of it.

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Next question, what is something

that you've started doing that's

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completely changed your confidence?

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My answer is so simple and so easy.

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You may already guess what it

is, but it's heels classes.

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Heels classes has changed

my life and my confidence.

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I was a pretty confident person

before my breakup, right?

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Like that.

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No doubt about it.

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I, I did the work to get to where

I was right before that breakup.

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And out of that breakup, I felt very

disconnected to my body and it's been

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a really hard healing journey when

it comes to my body and me and being

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comfortable with my sensuality as a

young woman who has grown up in the

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Catholic church and there's a lot

of things behind that, as you know

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from the podcast episode with Becs.

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There's so many layers to it and going

to heel's classes has made me feel so

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connected to my body after the longest

time and has tapped into this other level

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of confidence almost like this sexy,

sensual side of me that I've never really

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ventured into before or even given myself

permission to kind of like have fun with.

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It Has really allowed me to tap

into what does sexy mean to me?

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What does sensuality mean to me?

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How do I embody that?

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Because sexy is an energy, right?

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It is a state of being.

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So what does that look

like and feel like to me?

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And I truly do believe that going to

heal classes has put me on another level.

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It's unlocked this like sexy, sensual

confidence that just like radiants

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out of me every time that I'm dancing.

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That I think I low key have like

brought into everyday life of

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being like, yeah, I know I'm hot.

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I know I'm that girl and that's on period.

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I just feel so beyond confident, connected

to my body, and it's such a freeing

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and liberating and empowering feeling.

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I've never truly felt like that

before and it's just really nice.

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So yeah, heal classes has

completely, completely, and

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instantly changed my confidence.

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It's unlocked this new side of me that

has been like really fun and really

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exciting and like truly very healing.

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And I didn't expect it, but

I'm really happy about it.

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I have so many answers for this question.

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Um, what's a man's behavior

that gives you the instant ick?

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I simply cannot give you just

one ick because men give me

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the instant ick all the time.

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So I'm gonna give you my top five.

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Okay.

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So my first one, oh God, my first ick

would be leaving me on read after we've

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been texting days on end, weeks on end.

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And when I'm talking texting, I'm

not like a, oh, hi, how are you?

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Yeah, this and that.

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No, no, no, no, no.

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I'm talking like long ass Bibles, book

texts like we are writing each other

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novels, they're in depth, they're

detailed, and then all of a sudden

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you leave me on read and then you

don't text me until two weeks later.

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And then all throughout that

two week period where you didn't

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text me back, you were liking my

Instagrams and my hot tiktoks.

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Hmm.

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Interesting.

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That gives me the ick.

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That gives me the ick when we

were actually rooting for you.

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That's disappointment.

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Disappointment.

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Anyway, ick number two, bullshit excuses.

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I hate bullshit excuses.

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I rather you tell me straight

up what the hell is going on.

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If you cannot be man enough to

tell me the truth, you are not

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man enough to be in my life.

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Point blank and period.

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Don't let the door hit

you on the way out Anyway.

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Now, God, I love this question.

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Ick number three.

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Withdrawing emotionally and not being able

to have an emotionally depth conversation.

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If you cannot have an emotionally

depth conversation with me, or honestly

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hold a conversation whatsoever, oh

my God, it's not gonna work out.

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Instant ick.

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Instant ick.

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If you cannot talk to me and

contribute something meaningful,

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holy shit, please, please just leave.

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Please just leave.

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And on the other side of it, if there is

something wrong and you decide, Hmm, I'm

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just gonna wait for her to bring it up.

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I'm not gonna say it.

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I'm just gonna emotionally withdraw myself

and I'm just gonna make her go crazy.

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I'm gonna gaslight the shit out of

her until she brings it up and make

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her go crazy, crazy, crazy, and

make it feel like it's her fault.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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No, this one is pinpointed

to someone in particular.

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Um, yeah.

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No, no.

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No, you cannot emotionally

withdraw from someone.

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Absolutely not.

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That is absolutely disgusting

behavior and it's a major ick for me.

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If you emotionally withdraw and you can't

have an emotionally depth conversation,

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you can't even carry a conversation.

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Point blank in, period.

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Get outta my life.

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Get outta my life.

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You're wasting my time.

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And ick number five, if you're

condescending and sarcastic,

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stay the hell away from me.

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Absolutely not.

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I ooh, no, I do not respond

well to condescending men.

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Mm-hmm.

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No, no, no, no, no.

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Because who the hell do you think

you are talking to me like that?

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No.

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Genuinely.

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Genuinely.

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Who the hell do you think you

are talking to me like that?

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Absolutely not.

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That may fly with your friends.

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That may fly with your friends,

your family, your coworkers, but me.

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Woo.

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Boy, boy, boy, boy.

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You don't know who the

hell you are dealing with.

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You don't know who the

hell you're talking to.

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Treat me with some respect.

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You do not talk to me that way.

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Absolutely not.

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So if you are sarcastic and condescending,

please, please get the hell out of my

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dms and get the hell outta my life.

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And that's on period.

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Those are myicks those are my top five.

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Its because I cannot stand that shit.

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So yeah, if you're a man listening

to this podcast and you're interested

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in me, don't do any of that shit.

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Absolutely not.

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You have no chance if you do that.

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Anyway, let's get to the next question.

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Amanda, how do you stay confident

when you're constantly meeting men who

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only seem to want something physical?

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Hmm.

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What a timely question because I

just chit chatted about this on last

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week's tea time sesh, The Dating

Dilemma: Crushing On Potential.

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So if you haven't listened to that

episode, pause this episode, come

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back to this one later and listen

to that one, because that will

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give you some, some background on,

on this question in particular.

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But this is a good one because it's

hard to stay confident when the men that

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you are constantly meeting only want

physical access to you and non-emotional

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connection or commitment, honestly.

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And I think that's a big

problem in today's generation,

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especially our dating pool.

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So when it comes to staying confident,

when that's all that you kind of are met

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with: my biggest thing is remembering, I

have to remind myself this a lot, okay?

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Is that a man will never have a

problem with you having a boundary.

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A man will never have a problem

with you having a boundary.

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In fact, they would want to make sure that

you feel safe and comfortable and seen.

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They would do anything to make

sure that you feel that way.

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They would.

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A true man would, A boy

does not give a shit.

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A boy does not give a shit.

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If you have a physical boundary, they

don't care because they're all, at

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the end of the day, lustful boys.

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That's all they see, right?

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They, that's all they want.

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They want lust.

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They see lust and

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in order.

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To stay confident when you face lustful

boys over and over again is one,

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remembering that a man will never have

a problem with you having a boundary.

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And also that lustful boy is not

your future husband because your

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future husband will never make you

feel that way about your decisions.

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He will never make you feel that way.

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Absolutely not.

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And the second thing is standing

firm in your values and beliefs.

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If you are not comfortable with

something, don't ever let anyone

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pressure you into doing it.

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: 00:18:55

So if a boy makes you

feel like shit about it.

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: 00:18:58

Well, like I said last week,

he can go fuck himself because

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: 00:19:02

that's not a man, that's a lustful

boy, and you don't need that.

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: 00:19:06

He's not your future husband 'cause your

future husband would never do that to you.

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: 00:19:09

And our last question.

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: 00:19:11

How do I make new friends as an

adult without it feeling forced?

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: 00:19:15

I've been having a really hard time

and I just don't know what to do.

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: 00:19:19

This is such a good question because

I think as adults it's just so hard to

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: 00:19:25

make new friends because everyone is like

in their own little world, they already

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: 00:19:28

have their established friend groups.

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: 00:19:30

So even the idea of making new friends

and meeting new people is like, huh?

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: 00:19:34

Like it's a little bit

discombobulating, right?

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: 00:19:36

So my biggest piece of advice when

it comes to making new friends as an

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: 00:19:41

adult is to go somewhere by yourself

and challenge yourself to do something

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: 00:19:47

that you haven't done before,

that you feel like, you know what?

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: 00:19:51

I actually may enjoy this.

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: 00:19:53

And then when you go to that thing by

yourself, right, challenge yourself

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: 00:19:58

even further to talk to at least

two new people and just introduce

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: 00:20:03

yourself and get to know them.

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: 00:20:05

My trick is I'll eavesdrop on a

conversation and if it's something

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: 00:20:10

that I'm interested in, I'll

be like, oh my God, wait, are

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: 00:20:12

you talking about X, Y, and Z?

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: 00:20:14

Like, I actually did that

the other day in dance class.

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: 00:20:16

I was sitting there and I

wasn't really feeling it.

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: 00:20:18

I was a little bit sad.

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: 00:20:20

I was like, okay, like I'm just gonna

go like this is always good for my mind.

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: 00:20:22

Whatever.

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: 00:20:23

I was in my own little world, right?

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: 00:20:24

Hadn't introduced myself to anyone yet.

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: 00:20:27

And there were these girls sitting on

the couch in front of me and they were

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: 00:20:31

talking about this club that I've heard

of briefly at the singles mixer from the

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: 00:20:35

guy that was like, so in love with me.

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: 00:20:37

And they were talking about the

event and everything and I was

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: 00:20:40

like, huh, that's so interesting.

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: 00:20:42

So I was like listening to it

and I was like, okay, Amanda.

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: 00:20:44

Just like say something.

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: 00:20:45

Just ask them if that's the

club that you've heard of,

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: 00:20:49

like, you know, it's that one.

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: 00:20:50

But like, just start the conversation.

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: 00:20:52

Like, just say it.

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: 00:20:53

Okay.

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: 00:20:53

The worst thing they can do is like, just

look at you weirdly and not say anything.

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: 00:20:57

Right.

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: 00:20:57

But like, just ask the question.

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: 00:20:59

Okay.

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: 00:21:00

Ask the question.

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: 00:21:01

So I was like, excuse me, are you talking

about the MFers who can't run club?

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: 00:21:07

I knew that's what they were

talking about, but I didn't know

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: 00:21:10

how else to start the conversation.

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: 00:21:12

So then I said that, and

then they're like, oh my god.

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: 00:21:14

Yeah.

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: 00:21:15

And then we just started talking

and we did the whole class together.

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: 00:21:19

We exchanged Instagrams, got

their numbers, and now we like

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: 00:21:23

go to dance classes together.

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: 00:21:24

And I'm going now to the MFers

don't run club for the first

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: 00:21:28

time coming up this week.

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: 00:21:30

And we're all doing it together, you know?

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: 00:21:32

I would've never made those friendships

if I didn't just start yapping and

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: 00:21:39

push myself outside of my comfort

zone, even though I wasn't feeling it.

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: 00:21:43

And if you don't want to eavesdrop

on the conversation, you can

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: 00:21:46

always pay someone a compliment.

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: 00:21:48

It's a great way to start making friends

is always pay someone a compliment.

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: 00:21:53

If you like their shirt, if you like

their shoes, if you like their smile,

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: 00:21:57

Hey, by the way, I love your shirt.

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: 00:21:59

Where did you get it from?

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: 00:22:00

Oh my God, you are so beautiful.

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: 00:22:02

Like, your eyes are stunning.

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: 00:22:04

Oh my goodness, your shoes.

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: 00:22:05

I've been looking for a pair of them.

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: 00:22:07

Where did you get them?

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: 00:22:08

Great way to start the

conversation and make friends.

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: 00:22:11

Pay a compliment.

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: 00:22:13

Listen to the conversation.

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: 00:22:15

Try to get a question in that way, or

simply just start chatting to them if

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: 00:22:21

you, you know, if you feel comfortable

with that, but force yourself to

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: 00:22:24

go outside of your comfort zone.

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: 00:22:25

Go somewhere by yourself.

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: 00:22:27

Do something that you think that you would

enjoy, that you've never done before,

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: 00:22:31

and then introduce yourself to at least,

honestly, I would say two to three, but

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: 00:22:36

like, let's do one to two for this, right?

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: 00:22:38

One to two people, and that's it.

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: 00:22:41

I, I think that is my biggest advice when

it comes to making friends as an adult.

401

: 00:22:45

Okay, radiant icons.

402

: 00:22:46

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

403

: 00:22:48

As you know, we are in our radiance

rain era and for me in this era, I have

404

: 00:22:53

been finding little things that make me

feel powerful, that make me feel sexy,

405

: 00:23:00

that make me feel unapologetically me.

406

: 00:23:03

And one of those is my

iconic signature scent.

407

: 00:23:06

I have crafted mine with oakcha.

408

: 00:23:09

I do sinful layered with that girl,

vanilla, and it is delectable.

409

: 00:23:13

It is sinful and it is

sexy if I say so myself.

410

: 00:23:18

Every spritz just feels

like confidence bottled up.

411

: 00:23:23

It is my reminder that I am evolving

for myself, not anyone's dusty ass sun.

412

: 00:23:29

And you can have that too.

413

: 00:23:31

Radiant icons.

414

: 00:23:32

Make sure to build your own fragrance.

415

: 00:23:34

Through Oakcha, use the discount

code linked in the show notes

416

: 00:23:38

below to save yourself some cash.

417

: 00:23:41

Because icons do not follow trends.

418

: 00:23:44

We set the standard.

419

: 00:23:45

All right, radiant icons.

420

: 00:23:47

That is your Tea Time session for today.

421

: 00:23:49

If you enjoyed today's episode, make

sure to subscribe to leave a rating,

422

: 00:23:54

a review, to tell your friends about

us, to tell everyone and anyone,

423

: 00:23:57

because you know, we love "what?"

424

: 00:23:59

more radiant icons in our

iconic community of ours.

425

: 00:24:03

Oh my goodness, you guys, I'll

never get tired of saying that.

426

: 00:24:07

I just love y'all so much.

427

: 00:24:09

Thank you for submitting all

of your amazing questions.

428

: 00:24:12

I know there were a lot more, and

trust me, we will be having more

429

: 00:24:17

DTBI hotline specific episodes

as season three continues.

430

: 00:24:22

This was just the, the beginning

taste of it and oh my goodness,

431

: 00:24:25

you all kept me on my toes.

432

: 00:24:27

But you know what?

433

: 00:24:29

In return, I'm gonna keep you all on your

toes because next week's tea time session

434

: 00:24:33

is going to be a surprise with a very

special and iconic surprise announcement.

435

: 00:24:39

So make sure to subscribe and tune in next

week at 7:00 AM Eastern for that surprise

436

: 00:24:47

episode with a very, very, very special

and iconic and sexy surprise announcement.

437

: 00:24:58

What can it be?

438

: 00:24:59

I'm literally so excited.

439

: 00:25:01

I, I can't wait.

440

: 00:25:04

I can't wait.

441

: 00:25:04

But anyway, I'll chat

with y'all next week.

442

: 00:25:07

Then remember, Radiant

icons, Dare To Be Iconic.

443

: 00:25:11

Bye.