Heels, Icks, & Hot Takes: The DTBI Hotline Edition
It’s time to stop questioning your worth and start embodying it, radiant icons.
In this week’s tea time sesh, Amanda dives into your questions on dating, confidence, and connection — with her signature mix of honesty and humor. From navigating modern dating dilemmas to identifying her top icks, she unpacks what it really means to stay grounded and self-assured in a world that tests your worth.
She also spills the tea on her go-to confidence boosters, the mindset shifts that keep her feeling radiant, and how she’s redefining what it means to be iconic — one conversation at a time.
If you’ve been craving a reminder to protect your peace, trust your energy, and own your power, this episode is for you.
Connect with Amanda:
Submit your order for the Two Years, One Iconic Celebration Sale!
Stream the Radiant Reign Era Playlist!
Discover your iconic signature scent with Oakcha!
Got a question for Amanda or a topic you'd love to hear discussed on a future episode? Submit your question to the "Dare To Be Iconic Hotline" today!
Timestamps
00:00 Welcome to Dare To Be Iconic
04:36 Quotes To Keep You Motivated
08:19 Feeling Iconic & Confident in Your Radiant Reign Era
12:35 Top Five Instant Icks
16:53 Staying Confident Amidst Lustful Boys
19:23 Making New Friends as an Adult
22:57 Discover Your Signature Scent With Oakca
23:57 See You Next Week!
Transcript
What's up, radiant icons and welcome back to Dare To Be
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:Iconic, the podcast made for icons
who are daring to be themselves.
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:I'm your host Amanda Paolicelli.
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:And for today's tea time sesh we
are spilling the tea on everything
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:and anything 'cause that's
right, it's DTBI hotline time.
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:And you know, we love the
DTBI hotline over here.
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:We love it so much that
y'all flooded the questions.
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:Okay.
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:I have not looked at these whatsoever.
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:I had my interns sort through them
and pick the questions that I will be
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:answering live for today's tea time
sesh and, um, they had too much fun with
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:this assignment, but before we spill all
that piping hot tea, because I already
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:know it's gonna be piping hot, make sure
to connect with me on socials, radiant
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:icons, on Instagram and TikTok: it's
@amandapaolicelli_ and @daretobeiconic_.
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:And if you're on LinkedIn, radiant icons,
you already know what I'm gonna say.
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:Make sure to connect with me on there.
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:It's Amanda Paolicelli.
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:All of my socials are linked
in the show notes below.
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:And speaking of the show
notes, radiant icons.
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:Make sure to check out Dare
To Be Iconic's: Two Years, One
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:Iconic celebration sale that
you cannot find anywhere else.
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:This exclusive sale includes one piece
from the Radiant Reign Merch collection
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:of your choosing and the Breakup With
The Past, Fall In Love With The Future
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:Journal for an exclusive bundle price
that again, you cannot find anywhere else.
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:You cannot find that
on the DTBI Etsy Shop.
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:You can only find it in the order form
that is linked in the show notes below
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:and on the Dare To Be Iconic website.
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:So make sure to check out that sale
and connect with me on socials.
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:All right, radiant icons.
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:Enough chit-chatting.
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:Let's get to the piping hot tea.
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:I am a little bit nervous for these
questions, but let's do it, shall we?
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:Are you ready?
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:Radiant icons, because your
tea time sesh is starting now.
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:You guys are diabolical.
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:This question is insane.
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:Okay,
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:Amanda, I love the
dating dilemmas episode.
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:So, who would you French Kiss, Mary,
Kill: Italian boy, ATL Boy, or Mr.
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:Canada
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:for the ratings icons who have
not listened to the dating
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:dilemma, crushing on potential.
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:I beg of you to stop this episode, go to
that episode and then come back 'cause
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:then this question will make sense to you.
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:But to answer your question,
this is absolutely insane.
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:I can't believe I'm doing this.
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:Um, okay.
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:I would kill Italian boy because
he doesn't respect boundaries
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:and we don't have time for that.
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:As we mentioned in last
week's tea time sesh.
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:I would not French kiss any of my options.
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:They don't deserve the opportunity
to kiss me because again,
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:kissing me is a privilege.
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:Um, and then if I had to marry someone,
like, literally like twisting my arm had
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:to marry someone out of these options.
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:The best, I can't believe I'm saying
this, the best option would be Mr.
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:Canada.
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:And the reason why I say
that I will marry Mr.
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:Canada is because I could deal with
the potential of him in this scenario.
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:In this scenario, I can deal with
the potential of him because what was
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:attractive to me when it came to Mr.
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:Canada was his actions and
how he consistently showed up.
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:So I think out of the three
options, that's something that I'm
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:attracted to and, and would want in
a partner that's for life, right?
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:So yeah, I, I would marry Mr.
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:Canada even though I was falling
for the potential of him.
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:But you know, he does get some points
for consistency for the in-person
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:portion, not for when he left me
on read, but yeah, he would win.
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:He would win that round.
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:Oh, I love this.
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:Next question, Amanda, do you
have any quotes that you repeat
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:to yourself often that helps you
continue working for your dreams?
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:Actually have two quotes that come to
mind when I think of this question.
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:They actually come from my vision board.
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:And the first one is she needed
a hero so that's what she became.
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:And the second one is, I gotta pull
my phone close to my face real quick.
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:I can't see without my glasses.
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:I'm getting old.
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:Y'all, um, was, I was born with
something inside of me that
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:refuses to settle for average.
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:I don't know what it is,
but I am grateful I have it.
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:And when I think of those two
quotes, it propels me forward in my
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:entrepreneurial journey because running
a business, owning a business, however
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:you wanna phrase it, is no joke.
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:It is ridiculously hard to keep going
at times because sometimes things don't
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:pave out the way that you imagine them
to or projected them too, and that can be
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:discouraging, that can be overwhelming.
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:And well, there's a lot of
risk in business, right?
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:And I knew that going in, and even though
I knew that going in at times, it's
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:still, it still is a little bit daunting.
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:And being so incredibly young on this
journey of creating something that
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:really has never been done before.
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:There is nothing like Dare
To Be Iconic out there.
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:And I am so proud of that.
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:But that also means there's no
blueprint for me to look up to, right?
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:I, I am creating that.
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:I am opening doors for someone else,
and I take great pride in that.
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:But it gets hard.
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:It gets hard to keep moving forward.
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:And those two quotes remind me of my why.
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:I started Dare To Be iconic.
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:For the Amanda who was heartbroken three
years ago that had no idea who she was.
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:I started Dare To Be Iconic for a
little baby Amanda, who got bullied
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:severely for having big dreams.
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:I created the space that little
baby Amanda would've wanted
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:that would've dreamed of.
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:You know, like I just always think of
younger me and that quote of she became
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:the hero, let me get it right, is she
needed a hero, so that's what she became.
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:I became the hero that younger Amanda
needed and that that makes everything
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:worthwhile, and that helps me and propels
me forward in continuing to make dare to
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:be iconic, the best business it can be.
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:When I think of the second quote,
"I was born with something inside me
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:that refuses to settle for average."
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:Yeah, no, that's absolutely accurate.
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:I am a very ambitious woman.
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:That's, that's not a secret to anyone.
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:And you know, when I get down in
the dumps, I have to remind myself
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:that my ambition is one of the most
amazing qualities about myself,
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:and I just need to keep on pushing
forward because I know that I can
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:do anything that I put my mind to.
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:So those two quotes really motivate me
and challenge me, and I hope that when
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:you listen to those quotes that it pushes
you and motivates you as well to keep on
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:going and pursuing your dreams because you
can do anything that you put your mind to.
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:I know it sounds so damn cheesy,
but honestly, it's so damn true.
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:Create the opportunities for yourself
and keep pushing forward even when the
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:world tells you no, be the person that
the younger you would've wanted, right?
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:Create the space that you would've
needed to thrive when you were younger.
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:Do that no matter what anyone
else says, even when it gets hard.
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:And those two quotes, remind me of that.
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:What's one thing that makes
you feel instantly iconic?
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:The one thing that makes me feel
instantly iconic is press on nails.
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:Now, I know that may sound a
little bit like, mm, Amanda.
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:Like, what?
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:But hear me out- in this new era
for myself, this radiant reign
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:era, I have been putting a lot
more time into my physical being.
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:Whether that's movement that makes
me feel good in my physical self, or
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:it's putting more time in my physical
appearance and feeling good in my skin.
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:So experimenting with things like
press on nails and like a lip combo
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:and a scent, or like doing movement
and trying out different outfits and
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:seeing what my style is, like, those
things make me feel instantly iconic.
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:But the one thing out of all of them will
always be press on nails because when
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:I have a pair of press on nails on, I
feel like the baddest version of myself.
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:I feel like the most iconic
version of myself 'cause I
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:just carry myself differently.
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:I feel so put together.
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:When I don't have my pressed on nails,
I'm biting my cuticles, I'm like a mess.
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:So no, I need my press on nails.
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:I know my nails are bare right
now, but my press on nails
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:make me feel iconic instantly.
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:What can I say?
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:You know, taking the time for
my physical self and my physical
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:being has been so important.
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:And yeah, press on nails
are a big part of it.
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:Next question, what is something
that you've started doing that's
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:completely changed your confidence?
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:My answer is so simple and so easy.
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:You may already guess what it
is, but it's heels classes.
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:Heels classes has changed
my life and my confidence.
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:I was a pretty confident person
before my breakup, right?
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:Like that.
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:No doubt about it.
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:I, I did the work to get to where
I was right before that breakup.
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:And out of that breakup, I felt very
disconnected to my body and it's been
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:a really hard healing journey when
it comes to my body and me and being
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:comfortable with my sensuality as a
young woman who has grown up in the
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:Catholic church and there's a lot
of things behind that, as you know
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:from the podcast episode with Becs.
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:There's so many layers to it and going
to heel's classes has made me feel so
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:connected to my body after the longest
time and has tapped into this other level
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:of confidence almost like this sexy,
sensual side of me that I've never really
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:ventured into before or even given myself
permission to kind of like have fun with.
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:It Has really allowed me to tap
into what does sexy mean to me?
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:What does sensuality mean to me?
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:How do I embody that?
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:Because sexy is an energy, right?
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:It is a state of being.
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:So what does that look
like and feel like to me?
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:And I truly do believe that going to
heal classes has put me on another level.
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:It's unlocked this like sexy, sensual
confidence that just like radiants
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:out of me every time that I'm dancing.
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:That I think I low key have like
brought into everyday life of
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:being like, yeah, I know I'm hot.
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:I know I'm that girl and that's on period.
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:I just feel so beyond confident, connected
to my body, and it's such a freeing
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:and liberating and empowering feeling.
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:I've never truly felt like that
before and it's just really nice.
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:So yeah, heal classes has
completely, completely, and
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:instantly changed my confidence.
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:It's unlocked this new side of me that
has been like really fun and really
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:exciting and like truly very healing.
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:And I didn't expect it, but
I'm really happy about it.
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:I have so many answers for this question.
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:Um, what's a man's behavior
that gives you the instant ick?
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:I simply cannot give you just
one ick because men give me
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:the instant ick all the time.
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:So I'm gonna give you my top five.
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:Okay.
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:So my first one, oh God, my first ick
would be leaving me on read after we've
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:been texting days on end, weeks on end.
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:And when I'm talking texting, I'm
not like a, oh, hi, how are you?
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:Yeah, this and that.
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:No, no, no, no, no.
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:I'm talking like long ass Bibles, book
texts like we are writing each other
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:novels, they're in depth, they're
detailed, and then all of a sudden
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:you leave me on read and then you
don't text me until two weeks later.
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:And then all throughout that
two week period where you didn't
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:text me back, you were liking my
Instagrams and my hot tiktoks.
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:Hmm.
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:Interesting.
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:That gives me the ick.
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:That gives me the ick when we
were actually rooting for you.
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:That's disappointment.
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:Disappointment.
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:Anyway, ick number two, bullshit excuses.
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:I hate bullshit excuses.
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:I rather you tell me straight
up what the hell is going on.
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:If you cannot be man enough to
tell me the truth, you are not
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:man enough to be in my life.
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:Point blank and period.
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:Don't let the door hit
you on the way out Anyway.
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:Now, God, I love this question.
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:Ick number three.
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:Withdrawing emotionally and not being able
to have an emotionally depth conversation.
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:If you cannot have an emotionally
depth conversation with me, or honestly
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:hold a conversation whatsoever, oh
my God, it's not gonna work out.
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:Instant ick.
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:Instant ick.
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:If you cannot talk to me and
contribute something meaningful,
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:holy shit, please, please just leave.
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:Please just leave.
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:And on the other side of it, if there is
something wrong and you decide, Hmm, I'm
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:just gonna wait for her to bring it up.
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:I'm not gonna say it.
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:I'm just gonna emotionally withdraw myself
and I'm just gonna make her go crazy.
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:I'm gonna gaslight the shit out of
her until she brings it up and make
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:her go crazy, crazy, crazy, and
make it feel like it's her fault.
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:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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:No, this one is pinpointed
to someone in particular.
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:Um, yeah.
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:No, no.
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:No, you cannot emotionally
withdraw from someone.
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:Absolutely not.
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:That is absolutely disgusting
behavior and it's a major ick for me.
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:If you emotionally withdraw and you can't
have an emotionally depth conversation,
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:you can't even carry a conversation.
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:Point blank in, period.
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:Get outta my life.
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:Get outta my life.
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:You're wasting my time.
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:And ick number five, if you're
condescending and sarcastic,
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:stay the hell away from me.
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:Absolutely not.
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:I ooh, no, I do not respond
well to condescending men.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:No, no, no, no, no.
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:Because who the hell do you think
you are talking to me like that?
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:No.
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:Genuinely.
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:Genuinely.
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:Who the hell do you think you
are talking to me like that?
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:Absolutely not.
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:That may fly with your friends.
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:That may fly with your friends,
your family, your coworkers, but me.
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:Woo.
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:Boy, boy, boy, boy.
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:You don't know who the
hell you are dealing with.
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:You don't know who the
hell you're talking to.
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:Treat me with some respect.
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:You do not talk to me that way.
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:Absolutely not.
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:So if you are sarcastic and condescending,
please, please get the hell out of my
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:dms and get the hell outta my life.
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:And that's on period.
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:Those are myicks those are my top five.
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:Its because I cannot stand that shit.
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:So yeah, if you're a man listening
to this podcast and you're interested
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:in me, don't do any of that shit.
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:Absolutely not.
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:You have no chance if you do that.
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:Anyway, let's get to the next question.
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:Amanda, how do you stay confident
when you're constantly meeting men who
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:only seem to want something physical?
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:Hmm.
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:What a timely question because I
just chit chatted about this on last
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:week's tea time sesh, The Dating
Dilemma: Crushing On Potential.
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:So if you haven't listened to that
episode, pause this episode, come
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:back to this one later and listen
to that one, because that will
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:give you some, some background on,
on this question in particular.
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:But this is a good one because it's
hard to stay confident when the men that
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:you are constantly meeting only want
physical access to you and non-emotional
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:connection or commitment, honestly.
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:And I think that's a big
problem in today's generation,
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:especially our dating pool.
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:So when it comes to staying confident,
when that's all that you kind of are met
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:with: my biggest thing is remembering, I
have to remind myself this a lot, okay?
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:Is that a man will never have a
problem with you having a boundary.
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:A man will never have a problem
with you having a boundary.
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:In fact, they would want to make sure that
you feel safe and comfortable and seen.
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:They would do anything to make
sure that you feel that way.
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:They would.
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:A true man would, A boy
does not give a shit.
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:A boy does not give a shit.
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:If you have a physical boundary, they
don't care because they're all, at
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:the end of the day, lustful boys.
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:That's all they see, right?
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:They, that's all they want.
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:They want lust.
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:They see lust and
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:in order.
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:To stay confident when you face lustful
boys over and over again is one,
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:remembering that a man will never have
a problem with you having a boundary.
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:And also that lustful boy is not
your future husband because your
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:future husband will never make you
feel that way about your decisions.
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:He will never make you feel that way.
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:Absolutely not.
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:And the second thing is standing
firm in your values and beliefs.
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:If you are not comfortable with
something, don't ever let anyone
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:pressure you into doing it.
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:So if a boy makes you
feel like shit about it.
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:Well, like I said last week,
he can go fuck himself because
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:that's not a man, that's a lustful
boy, and you don't need that.
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:He's not your future husband 'cause your
future husband would never do that to you.
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:And our last question.
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:How do I make new friends as an
adult without it feeling forced?
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:I've been having a really hard time
and I just don't know what to do.
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:This is such a good question because
I think as adults it's just so hard to
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:make new friends because everyone is like
in their own little world, they already
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:have their established friend groups.
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:So even the idea of making new friends
and meeting new people is like, huh?
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:Like it's a little bit
discombobulating, right?
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:So my biggest piece of advice when
it comes to making new friends as an
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:adult is to go somewhere by yourself
and challenge yourself to do something
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:that you haven't done before,
that you feel like, you know what?
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:I actually may enjoy this.
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:And then when you go to that thing by
yourself, right, challenge yourself
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:even further to talk to at least
two new people and just introduce
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:yourself and get to know them.
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:My trick is I'll eavesdrop on a
conversation and if it's something
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:that I'm interested in, I'll
be like, oh my God, wait, are
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:you talking about X, Y, and Z?
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:Like, I actually did that
the other day in dance class.
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:I was sitting there and I
wasn't really feeling it.
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:I was a little bit sad.
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:I was like, okay, like I'm just gonna
go like this is always good for my mind.
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:Whatever.
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:I was in my own little world, right?
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:Hadn't introduced myself to anyone yet.
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:And there were these girls sitting on
the couch in front of me and they were
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:talking about this club that I've heard
of briefly at the singles mixer from the
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:guy that was like, so in love with me.
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:And they were talking about the
event and everything and I was
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:like, huh, that's so interesting.
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:So I was like listening to it
and I was like, okay, Amanda.
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:Just like say something.
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:Just ask them if that's the
club that you've heard of,
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:like, you know, it's that one.
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:But like, just start the conversation.
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:Like, just say it.
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:Okay.
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:The worst thing they can do is like, just
look at you weirdly and not say anything.
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:Right.
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:But like, just ask the question.
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:Okay.
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:Ask the question.
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:So I was like, excuse me, are you talking
about the MFers who can't run club?
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:I knew that's what they were
talking about, but I didn't know
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:how else to start the conversation.
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:So then I said that, and
then they're like, oh my god.
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:Yeah.
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:And then we just started talking
and we did the whole class together.
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:We exchanged Instagrams, got
their numbers, and now we like
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:go to dance classes together.
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:And I'm going now to the MFers
don't run club for the first
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:time coming up this week.
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:And we're all doing it together, you know?
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:I would've never made those friendships
if I didn't just start yapping and
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:push myself outside of my comfort
zone, even though I wasn't feeling it.
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:And if you don't want to eavesdrop
on the conversation, you can
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:always pay someone a compliment.
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:It's a great way to start making friends
is always pay someone a compliment.
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:If you like their shirt, if you like
their shoes, if you like their smile,
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:Hey, by the way, I love your shirt.
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:Where did you get it from?
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:Oh my God, you are so beautiful.
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:Like, your eyes are stunning.
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:Oh my goodness, your shoes.
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:I've been looking for a pair of them.
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:Where did you get them?
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:Great way to start the
conversation and make friends.
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:Pay a compliment.
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:Listen to the conversation.
392
:Try to get a question in that way, or
simply just start chatting to them if
393
:you, you know, if you feel comfortable
with that, but force yourself to
394
:go outside of your comfort zone.
395
:Go somewhere by yourself.
396
:Do something that you think that you would
enjoy, that you've never done before,
397
:and then introduce yourself to at least,
honestly, I would say two to three, but
398
:like, let's do one to two for this, right?
399
:One to two people, and that's it.
400
:I, I think that is my biggest advice when
it comes to making friends as an adult.
401
:Okay, radiant icons.
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:I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
403
:As you know, we are in our radiance
rain era and for me in this era, I have
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:been finding little things that make me
feel powerful, that make me feel sexy,
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:that make me feel unapologetically me.
406
:And one of those is my
iconic signature scent.
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:I have crafted mine with oakcha.
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:I do sinful layered with that girl,
vanilla, and it is delectable.
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:It is sinful and it is
sexy if I say so myself.
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:Every spritz just feels
like confidence bottled up.
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:It is my reminder that I am evolving
for myself, not anyone's dusty ass sun.
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:And you can have that too.
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:Radiant icons.
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:Make sure to build your own fragrance.
415
:Through Oakcha, use the discount
code linked in the show notes
416
:below to save yourself some cash.
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:Because icons do not follow trends.
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:We set the standard.
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:All right, radiant icons.
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:That is your Tea Time session for today.
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:If you enjoyed today's episode, make
sure to subscribe to leave a rating,
422
:a review, to tell your friends about
us, to tell everyone and anyone,
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:because you know, we love "what?"
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:more radiant icons in our
iconic community of ours.
425
:Oh my goodness, you guys, I'll
never get tired of saying that.
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:I just love y'all so much.
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:Thank you for submitting all
of your amazing questions.
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:I know there were a lot more, and
trust me, we will be having more
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:DTBI hotline specific episodes
as season three continues.
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:This was just the, the beginning
taste of it and oh my goodness,
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:you all kept me on my toes.
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:But you know what?
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:In return, I'm gonna keep you all on your
toes because next week's tea time session
434
:is going to be a surprise with a very
special and iconic surprise announcement.
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:So make sure to subscribe and tune in next
week at 7:00 AM Eastern for that surprise
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:episode with a very, very, very special
and iconic and sexy surprise announcement.
437
:What can it be?
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:I'm literally so excited.
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:I, I can't wait.
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:I can't wait.
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:But anyway, I'll chat
with y'all next week.
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:Then remember, Radiant
icons, Dare To Be Iconic.
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:Bye.