From Breakup to Breakthrough: Rising Into the Radiant Reign Era

Amanda Paolicelli: 00:00:09

What's up, Radiant Icons and welcome back to Dare To Be

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Iconic, the podcast made for icons

who are daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli, and for

today's Tea Time Sesh, we are celebrating

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Radiant icons because we have made it.

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We have made it to the season two finale.

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Oh my goodness, you guys, I

never thought we'd get here.

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To be honest with you, season two has

been one of the longest, but also most

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challenging and empowering seasons of my

life, and I wouldn't wanna have it any

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other way than ending it with a bang.

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So let's just address

the elephant in the room.

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If you've been on my social media,

especially on my Instagram, my TikTok, my

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LinkedIn, then you, you know, a new era

has, uh, rung in for Dare to Be Iconic.

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And today marks the start of it, and

this era, this next evolution has

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all started because you know I love

to turn my pain into power, and your

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girl is officially back on the market.

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Your girl is officially

back on the market.

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She is single, and it

never felt so damn good.

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I love it.

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I love it.

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I am free.

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I am liberated.

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I am empowered.

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And that is what this era, this

Radiant Reign era is all about.

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It is about having the courage

to love yourself so deeply that

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no matter who walks away, you

can reign radiantly and well.

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That's what I did.

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That is what I'm doing, and that

is what this next evolution of

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Dare To Be Iconic is all about.

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So before we get into all that piping hot

sea on this breakup, on this rebirth, on

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this next evolution, this liberation, this

freedom, all these great, amazing words.

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Make sure to connect with

me on socials radiant icons.

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If you haven't already on Instagram

and TikTok, it's @amandapaolicelli_ and

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@daretobeiconic_, and you already know.

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If you guys are on LinkedIn, make

sure to connect with me on there.

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It's Amanda Paolicelli.

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All of my socials are linked

in the show notes below.

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Now let's get to the piping hot tea.

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So as I mentioned in the intro

for today's tea time sesh, your

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girl is back on the market.

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Your girl is single again and it

feels so damn good to be free.

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It truly, truly does because for the last

two months of my three month relationship.

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I was in so much mental and emotional

turmoil, and I know that bled into

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my podcast episodes and my content.

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I know that there was a wall up 'cause

I was dealing with so much and a

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relationship shouldn't be that hard.

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And the first thing that I want to say

is that everything that I said in those

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previous podcast episodes, especially

What No One Tells You About Falling

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Again and my conversation with Becs.

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Everything I said in those episodes

about my previous relationship

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and my ex-boyfriend are true.

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I don't regret saying anything that I

said, those were my emotions at the time,

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and I, I truly believe them and I think

it's so beautiful that I have this digital

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diary, if you will, of these moments in

my life and I get to look back at them.

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I get to listen on them,

I get to read them, right?

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Whether it's the podcast, the blog,

social media content, whatever it is.

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I get to look back at those moments in my

life, and I think it's so beautiful that

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I let myself start to potentially fall

in love again and open up my heart and do

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something that was so scary to me, which

was to put myself out there romantically.

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Because I was guarding my heart for

three years because I was so anti-men.

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And you know what?

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That's never changed.

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I'm still very anti-men, but

I was like, you know what?

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Let me give myself this chance to

potentially fall in love, to put myself

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out there romantically, and that is

what I needed in that point in time

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in my life so that I can get to this

next evolution, which is the era we

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are all stepping into together, radiant

icons, which is the Radiant Reign era.

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Full of freedom and fearlessness and

liberation and empowerment, because that

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is what I'm feeling right now from this

breakup and that relationship with my ex

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everything I felt in that moment, it's so

beautiful that I was able to feel that.

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And it was the last challenge that

I needed before I went into this

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metamorphosis stage, this transformation

stage, and to shedding that old

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Amanda, that confident, iconic Amanda.

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She's still there, but I'm shedding

it and coming into this Amanda that I

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am supposed to be, this free Amanda.

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Because for the first time in 26 years

of my damn life, I am finally free.

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I am liberated, and I am empowered, and I

had to have that relationship with my ex.

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I had to experience the pain and the

beauty that was within that relationship

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to become the Amanda, to evolve into the

Amanda that I am supposed to be, that

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I am becoming, because it's within that

becoming radiant icons that we meet the

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most powerful versions of ourselves, and

that is what's happening to me right now.

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I also want to say that this

breakup is not about my ex.

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He wasn't the right guy for me.

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He wasn't my person.

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And sometimes things don't

work out and that's okay.

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And yeah, does it bruise the ego a

little bit that after three years of

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guarding my heart, my first relationship

back into that right, of letting

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myself feel and just like fall in

love and just experience it, right.

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It, that it like low key kind of blew

up in my face after three months.

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Yeah, of course.

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That bruised my ego a lot.

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And that's something that I, I still am

kind of a little bit still dealing with.

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And you know what?

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It's okay.

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It's okay that things fail.

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It's okay that things don't work out.

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Every failed relationship, every

relationship that ends is getting

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you that much closer to the person

that you are supposed to be with,

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but also into that evolution stage

of who you are supposed to become.

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I had to go into that relationship.

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I had to meet my ex-boyfriend for a

reason, and just because it bruised my ego

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a little bit that it didn't work out and

that, yeah, sometimes I do get mad at him.

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Sometimes I am a little bit sad.

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Okay, like, that's fine, that's normal.

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I truly do wish my ex all the best.

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Even though he already did have the

best, if I'm being so completely

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honest with you, because I know.

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I know I am that bitch.

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I know I am that bitch and I know I

will be okay and I hope he's okay.

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He just wasn't my person.

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I am not going to villainize him.

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I'm not gonna make him the bad guy

because he doesn't deserve that frankly.

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Yeah, our relationship wasn't perfect.

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There were some really great, amazing

moments that I will hold onto that

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I learned so much from and I'll,

I'll get into that in a minute.

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But the bad of our relationship.

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It was bad.

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It was not healthy.

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It was not good.

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A relationship should never be that hard.

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As, as hard as I fought for it,

as as confused as I was in it.

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That's not okay that that's not right.

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That is not healthy.

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And that shows me that that

relationship, that partnership

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was never going to work out.

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He is not my future husband.

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Everything that he made me feel,

especially in those last two

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months, my future husband would

never make me feel that way.

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He would never do to me some of the

things that happened in that relationship.

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It doesn't make my ex a bad guy.

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It just means a relationship

wasn't meant to be.

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We were never going to work out.

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I'm really excited for my future.

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So let's get into the lessons that I

learned and I'm, I'm gonna start with

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a little excerpt from my journal.

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It's actually from three

days after my breakup.

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And I said:

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"One of the most beautiful things

about this whole breakup is the

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growth that I have seen in myself.

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I've proved to myself that I can

put myself out there and carry

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my own, that I don't rely on

external validation from others.

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I know who I am and still carry

myself to a high degree and standard.

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The self-confidence and awareness in

myself has never faltered, that inner

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resilience was sturdy, and I didn't

internalize the breakup and take

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it upon myself as "this is all me."

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"It had to be me."

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"I'm the cause of this."

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"I must be not good enough."

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No, none of that crossed my mind.

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I knew this had nothing to do with me,

and it had everything to do with him.

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That is one of the biggest wins because

Amanda, three years ago, who blamed

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herself for everything, could never had

imagined that she would be here after a

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breakup- confident, collected, and calm.

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Amanda, three years ago

would've blamed herself.

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She would've begged.

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She didn't have a strong sense of

self like this Amanda does now.

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I used my voice confidently

from the beginning.

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I gave myself space to learn and grow.

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I let my confidence and heart

shine till the very end.

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I am so proud of myself.

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I've grown by leaps and bounds with

my self-esteem and my self-confidence,

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and in my healing journey."

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I think it's so beautiful to look back

on my mindset just three days after

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that breakup because for me- it shows

the power of the work that I've done on

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myself for the messaging and the lessons

that I share on this very podcast or

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in the master classes or on the blog.

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Everything that I've shared through Dare

To Be Iconic- I have not only walked

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the walk with it and talked the talk.

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I am living proof that if you do

the work on yourself, no one can

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shake you and that you can reign

radiantly, that you know your worth.

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That's what I take away from this

journal entry and honestly from this

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breakup, the external validation

that I used to seek in my previous

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relationships, especially younger

Amanda, like 19, 20, 21 years old, right?

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I was not seeking it.

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I knew I was not seeking it

in this relationship, and even

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after this relationship ended.

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The internal validation that I built

myself based off the lessons that

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I've learned and the work I have

done for myself shined through during

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this breakup and continues to shine

through in this rebirth and this

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evolution of who I am supposed to

be, the Amanda that I am supposed to

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be in life, and it's so beautiful to

read because amanda, three years ago,

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like I said, in that journal entry.

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She would've taken this

breakup all upon herself.

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She would've blamed herself.

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She would've been like, what did I do?

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I was the cause of this.

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I, I, I.

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When the matter of the fact ,radiant

icons, is sometimes it truly is not you,

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and it has everything to do with them.

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Love yourself more than

the potential of them.

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I was falling for the glimpses

of potential someone gave me,

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I wasn't allowing myself to be

loved in the way that I deserve.

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I deserve to be loved

so loudly and so deeply.

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And all that relationship gave

me all that he gave me, frankly,

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was confusion and not clarity.

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A man who is unsure about you,

radiant icons, is not the man for

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you because your future partner, your

future husband, your future wife.

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That future partner will

never make you feel confused.

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They will only give you clarity,

and within those months of my

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relationship, I was experiencing

more confusion because I was falling

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for the potential or the glimpses of

potential that someone gave me, rather

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than falling in love with myself more.

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Even though I knew deep down, I knew

deep down that this relationship

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had run its course because love

shouldn't be that damn hard.

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I still was fighting for it.

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I still was like, you know what?

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I'm going to give it one more month

because I fight for the things I love,

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but sometimes you have to be willing

to walk away, and that is the one

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thing, the one thing that I'm like,

damn, I was too scared of it blowing

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up in my face that I didn't walk away.

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I was willing to fight.

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I should have listened to my gut.

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I kept fighting this resistance.

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Love is not hard, radiant

icons, it is not hard.

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You should not be fighting this hard.

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You should not always be confused.

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Love- safe love, Healthy love is clarity.

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If you are experiencing confusion,

it's because you are following

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and chasing that potential.

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And you know what?

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During the summer when it was really

rocky, and I look back at those

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journal entries and I just feel so

bad for myself because I was trying to

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convince myself that this was normal.

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The confusion that I was experiencing was

normal and that resistance, and it's not.

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It's not you guys.

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It's not.

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If you learn anything from this episode:

that confusion, that resistance.

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You, you feel like you're butting

heads in a relationship all the time.

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Constantly waking up not knowing

if that other person likes you,

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not knowing their feelings.

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That is not normal.

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That is not normal.

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But you know what?

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That is the metamorphosis

I needed this summer.

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This summer I turned iconic, right?

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We're going all the way back.

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We're pulling out all this stops

this episode, but honestly, this

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was the summer that I turned iconic.

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This was the summer of metamorphosis

and transformation because it's messy,

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it's chaotic, and it's becoming, I

am becoming who I am supposed to be.

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This relationship was that last

hurdle, that last challenge to prove

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to myself that I can do scary thing.

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I can put myself out there romantically.

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I can date, I can hold my own, I can

articulate my thoughts and my feelings.

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I, I can stand firm in my boundaries.

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That was what I take

from this relationship.

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I take that I don't need external

validation from anyone because I

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built it so strong within myself.

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I take that I deserve to be

loved so loudly and so deeply.

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And if a man is unsure about

you, he is not the one for you.

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Point blank and period.

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That man is not for you.

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And if he gives you more confusion

than clarity, girl, don't wait.

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Walk away and reign radiantly And

that's what this new era, this

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radiance reign era is all about.

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And honestly, I also think this goes

back to intention setting right at the

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beginning of this year, my intention

was to live my most iconic life, to

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embrace this true essence of iconic,

and how beautiful is it that I am truly

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embracing this next evolution of myself?

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I am learning what the word

iconic means to me in a way that

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I honestly didn't foresee coming.

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I didn't see myself getting into a

relationship and then getting broken

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up with, and then feeling this, this

feeling of liberation and freedom.

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But you know what?

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That's me learning this true essence

of iconic on what it means to me

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because the first time in my 26

years of living, I truly am free.

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I truly am free because I'm radiating

this confidence that, again, goes

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back to me setting that intention

for chapter 26 of my life, right?

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Radiant 26.

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I wanted to radiate confidence, this

inner confidence like never before.

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And I'm reaching this new level of

confidence that I've never experienced.

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I've never felt so empowered in my body.

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I've never felt so empowered in

my being and who I am becoming

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that is radiating from within.

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It's shining, and I know people can

feel it because my friends are even

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complimenting me on Amanda, you look

lighter and brighter and just free.

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And this shift in energy Radiant icons is

because I'm giving myself the permission

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that I've never given myself before.

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I'm giving myself permission to be free,

to experience joy, and to be unstoppable.

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Give yourself this permission that

you've been maybe holding back,

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give it to yourself in this era.

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That is what this era is all about, and

I'm just so damn excited for you guys

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because honestly, this is the character

development that we needed to get to

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this next evolution to unlock this next

version of who we are supposed to be.

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I'm so damn excited.

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Let's reign radiantly together.

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All right, radiance icons.

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That is your tea time session for today.

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If you enjoy today's episode, make

sure to leave a rating, a review to

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tell your friends about us, to tell

everyone and anyone, because you

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know, we love more radiant icons,

an our iconic community of ours.

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But honestly, radiant icons.

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I can't believe we made it

to the end of season two.

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Like, oh my goodness.

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And of course, obviously we're ending it

with one of the most unexpected bangers.

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I mean, who would've.

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Thought I would've gotten into a

relationship and then gotten out

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of one within just one season.

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Certainly not I, but you know what?

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That's so iconic of me

and Well, I love you guys.

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Thank you guys for being a part of this

journey through all the ups and the downs.

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Season two has been just so iconic

and honestly, one of the most

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amazing experiences of my life.

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I've grown so much throughout this

podcast and throughout this season

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in particular, and I'm just so

excited for season three, you guys.

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Season three is gonna be even more

iconic, and you already know I have

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a lot of tricks up my sleeve, so

I guess I'll see you October 8th.

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I'll see you October 8th for

the season three premiere of

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: 00:18:26

the Dare To Be Iconic podcast.

309

: 00:18:27

Until then, radiant

icons, dare to be iconic.

310

: 00:18:31

Bye.